Hostility

[Guest guest]

I'm in the midst of being divorced from my AS wife.  (It's my self-dx. She won't get a professional dx.).  We've been married over 10-years and have young children.  I initiated marriage counseling over the years, but in the end she decided to get divorced.  The counseling was done by family therapists and was ineffective or counter-productive.    

 

The divorce is tough enough to deal with, but she's turned on me like a pit bull.  Very hostile.  She won't look at me, etc.  We're still living together for financial reasons.  

 

Everything seemed to turn when she met with a family therapist one-on-one whom I never met.  That counselor validated her negative comments and led her to get divorced.  I suppose she manipulated the therapist and vice-versa.     

 

The reasons she articulates for the divorce are irrational, most of which have to do with money.  I still have this lingering feeling that I should have/could have done more to save our marriage, and what would have been if I didn't lead her to the therapist. 

 

As much as I'm torn by the breakup, it could also be a blessing in disguise.  One major problem was she'd Never touch me or show affection.  I don't think I could have endured.  But what if she had appropriate therapy...maybe she could have adapted and all would be well.     

 

Does anyone have any experience/feedback to help me understand and deal with this? 

 

Thanks.