FW: The Older Crowd

[Guest guest]

Joke for the 1st day of the Month. Hope all enjoy.

Bridget.

ACM1

Posterior Fossa Decompression with Duraplasty,

Sub-Occipital Craniectomy,

Partial C1 Laminectomy. 2006.

Left Mastectomy. 2007

The Older crowd

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

" Is it true, " she wanted to know, " that the medication you prescribed has to be

taken for the rest of my life? "

" Yes, I'm afraid so, " the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, " I'm wondering,

then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO

REFILLS'.... "

Propagated by GerryKA2ALT 5/31/10

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son,a renowned surgeon,perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anaesthetic,he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember,if it doesn't go well,if

something happens to me, your mother is going to come and

live with you and your wife....'

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age

and start bragging about it.

The older we get,the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know

'why'I look this way.I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't

paved..

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,

think of algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice

change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names,then you forget faces, then you forget to pull up your

zipper, It's worse when you forget to pull it down....

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,it was called

witchcraft....today, it's called golf.

Two old blokes are pushing their carts around Big W when they collide.

The first old bloke says to the second bloke,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,and I guess I wasn't paying attention

to where I was going.'

The second old bloke says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence..

I'm looking for my wife, too...I can't find her and I'm getting a little

desperate.'

The first old bloke says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her..What does she

look like?'

The second old bloke says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,with red hair, blue

eyes, long legs,and is wearing short shorts...

What does your wife look like?'To which the first old bloke says,

'Doesn't matter,--- let's look for yours.'

Lord, please keep Your arm around my shoulder,Your hand over my mouth!