Re: NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!!/Carol Incognito

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

Did your mom have Parkinsonism problems years before the dementia showed up.

She may not be progressing as fast as others, because she might have PDD,

Parkinsons Disease Dementia, which is also a Lewy Body Disease. Lewy Body

Dementia is when your loved one has dementia first and then in a year or less

Parkinonism follows or may not follow. Lewy Body Dementia does not have the

Parkinsonism sometimes, only the dementia. But it always is one follows the

other in a year or less to be Lewy Body Dementia and Lewy Body Dementia is

usually fast progressing within 5-7 years, but may be a little more, where PDD

progresses longer and not as fast. I think it is explained somewhere on the LBDA

site. I learned this at the Washington DC Symposium that I attended in February

called, LBD Vs. PDD

My husband has PDD. It wasn't until 6 years that the dementia became full

blown. It haa been 14 years now with the onset of Parkinsonism to the onset of

dementia to now.......Jan

Jan

" carol.incognito " wrote:

Dear Imogene,

Well, I'm glad that you could finally give an answer that I can

answer and that makes sense. If it is just for research, I " m sure

most insurance companies or medicare will probably not pay for it.

That makes sense.

From everything you said, I guess the most important thing is to find

a good doctor that has knowledge of LBD and will more than likely be

able to make the DX jast as in the case of your Don. I will go along

with that and be satisfied. I don't even want to put my Mom through

such a test. I did not know it was intrusive with dye. I don't want

that.

My Mom's Doctor sent me another email this afternoon after I told her

to get me the referral for the neurologist saying, " Are you sure you

really want to put her through going to see a neurologist? " I wrote

back and asked her why she sounds so against it and I am awaiting her

reply...

I could go in and talk to the Doctor and have a consultation with my

diary on Mom and she could probably DX it right then...just as most

of us on site have done. Maybe it's me and I go into this denial

mode. I think my biggest problem in accepting LBD 100% is that it

has been 6+ years and she has problems, for sure, but she is still

living alone and does not seem to have a lot of the severe problems I

read about on site. And it has not happened quickly. Am I just

lucky or does she not have LBD? That is my dilemma!!!

Well, thanks for your time Imogene...and I hope tonight will be calm

with Don.

Thanks,

Carol Incognito

>

>

> Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a PET

Scan

> identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, . I

will certainly

> look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

questioned our

> Doctor.

>

> Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan is

used in

> research study, but is not something used everyday, because all the

test

> identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

treatment. It is

> injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins. So

yes, it can

> identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed it

was in research.

>

> He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia, because

the Doctor

> can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

excellent doctor

> as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

Doctor. The

> first one we had was horrible, though.

> Imogene

>

>

>

> In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> jenniferlynnebrock@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Carol,

> We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor College

of

> Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we had

been seeing would

> only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

didn't really

> matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now what

is coming in

> the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

complete

> neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

run last week. He

> told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present. His

initial

> opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible Lewy

Bodies. The

> PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows about

all the

> different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next week

to get the

> results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in the

dark about

> the days to come.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Carol, I just read your reply to Imogene and it doesn't sound like your mom

started with parkinsonism after your father died. So, whatever you decide in

finding your mom's diagnosis, I hope it gives you some relief. Jan

Janet Colello wrote: Hi Carol,

Did your mom have Parkinsonism problems years before the dementia showed up.

She may not be progressing as fast as others, because she might have PDD,

Parkinsons Disease Dementia, which is also a Lewy Body Disease. Lewy Body

Dementia is when your loved one has dementia first and then in a year or less

Parkinonism follows or may not follow. Lewy Body Dementia does not have the

Parkinsonism sometimes, only the dementia. But it always is one follows the

other in a year or less to be Lewy Body Dementia and Lewy Body Dementia is

usually fast progressing within 5-7 years, but may be a little more, where PDD

progresses longer and not as fast. I think it is explained somewhere on the LBDA

site. I learned this at the Washington DC Symposium that I attended in February

called, LBD Vs. PDD

My husband has PDD. It wasn't until 6 years that the dementia became full blown.

It haa been 14 years now with the onset of Parkinsonism to the onset of dementia

to now.......Jan

Jan

" carol.incognito " wrote:

Dear Imogene,

Well, I'm glad that you could finally give an answer that I can

answer and that makes sense. If it is just for research, I " m sure

most insurance companies or medicare will probably not pay for it.

That makes sense.

From everything you said, I guess the most important thing is to find

a good doctor that has knowledge of LBD and will more than likely be

able to make the DX jast as in the case of your Don. I will go along

with that and be satisfied. I don't even want to put my Mom through

such a test. I did not know it was intrusive with dye. I don't want

that.

My Mom's Doctor sent me another email this afternoon after I told her

to get me the referral for the neurologist saying, " Are you sure you

really want to put her through going to see a neurologist? " I wrote

back and asked her why she sounds so against it and I am awaiting her

reply...

I could go in and talk to the Doctor and have a consultation with my

diary on Mom and she could probably DX it right then...just as most

of us on site have done. Maybe it's me and I go into this denial

mode. I think my biggest problem in accepting LBD 100% is that it

has been 6+ years and she has problems, for sure, but she is still

living alone and does not seem to have a lot of the severe problems I

read about on site. And it has not happened quickly. Am I just

lucky or does she not have LBD? That is my dilemma!!!

Well, thanks for your time Imogene...and I hope tonight will be calm

with Don.

Thanks,

Carol Incognito

>

>

> Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a PET

Scan

> identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, . I

will certainly

> look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

questioned our

> Doctor.

>

> Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan is

used in

> research study, but is not something used everyday, because all the

test

> identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

treatment. It is

> injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins. So

yes, it can

> identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed it

was in research.

>

> He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia, because

the Doctor

> can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

excellent doctor

> as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

Doctor. The

> first one we had was horrible, though.

> Imogene

>

>

>

> In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> jenniferlynnebrock@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Carol,

> We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor College

of

> Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we had

been seeing would

> only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

didn't really

> matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now what

is coming in

> the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

complete

> neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

run last week. He

> told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present. His

initial

> opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible Lewy

Bodies. The

> PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows about

all the

> different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next week

to get the

> results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in the

dark about

> the days to come.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jan,

No, I never saw any Parkinson symptoms at all until recently. Maybe

the last year or two for sure...plus she has the curvature of the

spine...which has really gotten bad with some very poor

posture....just really hunched over..

I'm not sure I told Imogene or Sharon...but, I spoke to a friend of

mine who is a Doctor tonight...and I am about 90% sure I don't want

my Mom to have the PET Scan. I didn't know it was intrusive with the

dye. I don't want that...My friend's Dad had one done and the dye

shut down his kidneys and he had to go on dialysis...he eventually

died in the hospital, from shutdowns of organs....Like most have

said, a good neurologist will be able to tell if it's LBD and I will

be satisfied with that...Plus, I have all you gals with all your

information and stories and I would almost bet my life that it is

LBD....so why put Mom through more pain and anguish...Even all the

tests would be painful for her because she would see how poorly she

would do. Six years ago she did not do so great and it upset

her...she knew she didn't...and now, it's 70% worse...so forget

it...I just want to have a sit down consultation with the doctor...so

all that complaining I did to the doctor and now I wrote to her and

told her I don't want a PET scan...she was understanding...lol She

knows how hard it is, she has an elderly uncooperative Mom, and she

knows my Mom is my best friend and I do everything for her....

My best,

Carol...

> >

> >

> > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a

PET

> Scan

> > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, . I

> will certainly

> > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

> questioned our

> > Doctor.

> >

> > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan is

> used in

> > research study, but is not something used everyday, because all

the

> test

> > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> treatment. It is

> > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins. So

> yes, it can

> > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed it

> was in research.

> >

> > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia, because

> the Doctor

> > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> excellent doctor

> > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

> Doctor. The

> > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > Imogene

> >

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Carol,

> > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor College

> of

> > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we had

> been seeing would

> > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> didn't really

> > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now what

> is coming in

> > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

> complete

> > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

> run last week. He

> > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present.

His

> initial

> > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible Lewy

> Bodies. The

> > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows about

> all the

> > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

week

> to get the

> > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in the

> dark about

> > the days to come.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Carol, you are on the emotional roller coaster ride that we all take trying to

figure out what is right and wrong for our Loved Ones. We want the best for them

and want to do anything we can for them. We're up, we're down in trying to weigh

all those things out in what's best. It's a fine balance with our LBD LOs.

Remember to take care of yourself too in all of this.........Hugs, Jan

" carol.incognito " wrote:

Jan,

No, I never saw any Parkinson symptoms at all until recently. Maybe

the last year or two for sure...plus she has the curvature of the

spine...which has really gotten bad with some very poor

posture....just really hunched over..

I'm not sure I told Imogene or Sharon...but, I spoke to a friend of

mine who is a Doctor tonight...and I am about 90% sure I don't want

my Mom to have the PET Scan. I didn't know it was intrusive with the

dye. I don't want that...My friend's Dad had one done and the dye

shut down his kidneys and he had to go on dialysis...he eventually

died in the hospital, from shutdowns of organs....Like most have

said, a good neurologist will be able to tell if it's LBD and I will

be satisfied with that...Plus, I have all you gals with all your

information and stories and I would almost bet my life that it is

LBD....so why put Mom through more pain and anguish...Even all the

tests would be painful for her because she would see how poorly she

would do. Six years ago she did not do so great and it upset

her...she knew she didn't...and now, it's 70% worse...so forget

it...I just want to have a sit down consultation with the doctor...so

all that complaining I did to the doctor and now I wrote to her and

told her I don't want a PET scan...she was understanding...lol She

knows how hard it is, she has an elderly uncooperative Mom, and she

knows my Mom is my best friend and I do everything for her....

My best,

Carol...

> >

> >

> > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a

PET

> Scan

> > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, . I

> will certainly

> > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

> questioned our

> > Doctor.

> >

> > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan is

> used in

> > research study, but is not something used everyday, because all

the

> test

> > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> treatment. It is

> > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins. So

> yes, it can

> > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed it

> was in research.

> >

> > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia, because

> the Doctor

> > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> excellent doctor

> > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

> Doctor. The

> > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > Imogene

> >

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Carol,

> > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor College

> of

> > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we had

> been seeing would

> > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> didn't really

> > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now what

> is coming in

> > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

> complete

> > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

> run last week. He

> > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present.

His

> initial

> > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible Lewy

> Bodies. The

> > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows about

> all the

> > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

week

> to get the

> > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in the

> dark about

> > the days to come.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan,

I try to do the best I can as far as taking care of myself, but

unfortunately, others seems to come first...My two days to myself are

Saturdays and Sundays...I take my chemo on Saturday so that keeps me

down Saturday and Sunday...and then I'm running again on Monday.

lol But, I do get a lot of rest on the weekend...I am trying

hard...I know in my head but my heart sometimes just doesn't let me

stop and I keep pushing myself...I'm sure most of you have all been

there and done the same...it's a tough job.

My best,

Carol Incog

> > >

> > >

> > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a

> PET

> > Scan

> > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, .

I

> > will certainly

> > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

> > questioned our

> > > Doctor.

> > >

> > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan

is

> > used in

> > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because all

> the

> > test

> > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > treatment. It is

> > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins.

So

> > yes, it can

> > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed

it

> > was in research.

> > >

> > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

because

> > the Doctor

> > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> > excellent doctor

> > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

> > Doctor. The

> > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > Imogene

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Carol,

> > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

College

> > of

> > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we

had

> > been seeing would

> > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> > didn't really

> > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now

what

> > is coming in

> > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

> > complete

> > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

> > run last week. He

> > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present.

> His

> > initial

> > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible

Lewy

> > Bodies. The

> > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

about

> > all the

> > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

> week

> > to get the

> > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in

the

> > dark about

> > > the days to come.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

Yes I know about you being sick and about our other member being so

horribly sick. I was new to the site then but I did read

everything.

I am trying real hard, believe me. But, it is difficult when I am

the only one that really does anything. Mom is always looking for

me. I barely can get away for Sat and Sundays...but one of my

sisters does go down on Sundays most times...but if she doesn't, then

I have to go. Anyway, enough of my complaining...I will try..and do

try...and I have learned that I just get sick when I don't listen to

my body. In fact, my Mother says to me all the time, " what would I

do if I didn't have you to take care of me? " And I don't have an

answer, even tho I tell her that the other two daughters would step

up to the plate...

Anyway, thanks for caring..I appreciate it...

Carol

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of

a

> > PET

> > > Scan

> > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

.

> I

> > > will certainly

> > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

and

> > > questioned our

> > > > Doctor.

> > > >

> > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

scan

> is

> > > used in

> > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

all

> > the

> > > test

> > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > treatment. It is

> > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

proteins.

> So

> > > yes, it can

> > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

stressed

> it

> > > was in research.

> > > >

> > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> because

> > > the Doctor

> > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> > > excellent doctor

> > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

our

> > > Doctor. The

> > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

Time,

> > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Carol,

> > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> College

> > > of

> > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we

> had

> > > been seeing would

> > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> > > didn't really

> > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now

> what

> > > is coming in

> > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had

a

> > > complete

> > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

scan

> > > run last week. He

> > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

present.

> > His

> > > initial

> > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible

> Lewy

> > > Bodies. The

> > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> about

> > > all the

> > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

> > week

> > > to get the

> > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in

> the

> > > dark about

> > > > the days to come.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Dear Courage,

Yes Courage, that is what I wrote. lol...it's not fun, but I have no

choice. Sometimes, you know, I sit and wonder how I do do it. I'm

56 and was always pretty healthy until about 4 years ago. In the

midst of one of my Mother's worse episdoes and me being stressed to

the max and fighting with my sisters (because of getting no help) I

became very sick.

I live alone with 2 cats, I have a daughter that lives about 20 miles

away, but I don't tell her very much about my health, because I don't

want her to worry about me, like I worry about my Mom...In fact, you

probably heard I had surgery last week and I never even told her...in

fact she still doesn't know...I want her to just be happy and enjoy

her job, her fiance and her life and not be worrying about me. I

don't feel like a martyr by doing this, it is just my love for her.

Do you know what I mean?

I do have a close friend that is very helpful and will shop or do

anything I would ask him to do. Of course, I have a hard time asking

for help, but when I am desperate, I will...I have learned to do

things over time and in small doses...likes, shopping, etc...

And like I said to Imogene the other day, I have now settled for

clean and tidy, where before, I would go nuts with the house...

Well, that's my story..lol...it's not as bad as it sounds...and like

my Mom says...God will take care of me so I can take care of

her...lol is she funny or what??? She actually says that to me, but

so far it is happening.... :-)

My best,

Carol Incognito

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard

of a

> > PET

> > > Scan

> > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

.

> I

> > > will certainly

> > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

and

> > > questioned our

> > > > Doctor.

> > > >

> > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

scan

> is

> > > used in

> > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

all

> > the

> > > test

> > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > treatment. It is

> > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

proteins.

> So

> > > yes, it can

> > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

stressed

> it

> > > was in research.

> > > >

> > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> because

> > > the Doctor

> > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have

an

> > > excellent doctor

> > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

our

> > > Doctor. The

> > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

Time,

> > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Carol,

> > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> College

> > > of

> > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist

we

> had

> > > been seeing would

> > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think

it

> > > didn't really

> > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to

now

> what

> > > is coming in

> > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro

had a

> > > complete

> > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

scan

> > > run last week. He

> > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

present.

> > His

> > > initial

> > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with

possible

> Lewy

> > > Bodies. The

> > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> about

> > > all the

> > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going

next

> > week

> > > to get the

> > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being

in

> the

> > > dark about

> > > > the days to come.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

carol

call eh council of aging in your area and the elders affaris offices, they have

federally funded probgrams that you may be eliblibe for and if so someprograms

even provide for some respite time,, we got alot for $75 a month it inlcuded

meals on wheel for lunch, bedding pads and diapers, adn antibiotic lotion, corn

starch baby powder, bandaids and 24 hour a week repiste care to be taken any way

i wanted, in on 24 hour stand, or i could brake it down althhe way int 4 hour

increments. you never know wht you may qualify for unless you call, good luck

and hugs, sharon m

---- " carol.incognito " wrote:

Dear Sharon,

Yes I know about you being sick and about our other member being so

horribly sick. I was new to the site then but I did read

everything.

I am trying real hard, believe me. But, it is difficult when I am

the only one that really does anything. Mom is always looking for

me. I barely can get away for Sat and Sundays...but one of my

sisters does go down on Sundays most times...but if she doesn't, then

I have to go. Anyway, enough of my complaining...I will try..and do

try...and I have learned that I just get sick when I don't listen to

my body. In fact, my Mother says to me all the time, " what would I

do if I didn't have you to take care of me? " And I don't have an

answer, even tho I tell her that the other two daughters would step

up to the plate...

Anyway, thanks for caring..I appreciate it...

Carol

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of

a

> > PET

> > > Scan

> > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

.

> I

> > > will certainly

> > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

and

> > > questioned our

> > > > Doctor.

> > > >

> > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

scan

> is

> > > used in

> > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

all

> > the

> > > test

> > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > treatment. It is

> > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

proteins.

> So

> > > yes, it can

> > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

stressed

> it

> > > was in research.

> > > >

> > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> because

> > > the Doctor

> > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> > > excellent doctor

> > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

our

> > > Doctor. The

> > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

Time,

> > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Carol,

> > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> College

> > > of

> > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we

> had

> > > been seeing would

> > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> > > didn't really

> > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now

> what

> > > is coming in

> > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had

a

> > > complete

> > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

scan

> > > run last week. He

> > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

present.

> > His

> > > initial

> > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible

> Lewy

> > > Bodies. The

> > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> about

> > > all the

> > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

> > week

> > > to get the

> > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in

> the

> > > dark about

> > > > the days to come.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

Thanks for the suggestion. We do already get some help from the

elder program in town. I have someone that comes 3x's a week for

showers and an aide that comes for 3 hours to clean and whatever else

needs to be done. That is for Mom, naturally. Sometimes, I think I

need the help as much as she does...and on some days, maybe even more

so...lol

My best,

Carol

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard

of

> a

> > > PET

> > > > Scan

> > > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

> .

> > I

> > > > will certainly

> > > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

> and

> > > > questioned our

> > > > > Doctor.

> > > > >

> > > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

> scan

> > is

> > > > used in

> > > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

> all

> > > the

> > > > test

> > > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > > treatment. It is

> > > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

> proteins.

> > So

> > > > yes, it can

> > > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

> stressed

> > it

> > > > was in research.

> > > > >

> > > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> > because

> > > > the Doctor

> > > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have

an

> > > > excellent doctor

> > > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

> our

> > > > Doctor. The

> > > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > > Imogene

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

> Time,

> > > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Carol,

> > > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> > College

> > > > of

> > > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist

we

> > had

> > > > been seeing would

> > > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think

it

> > > > didn't really

> > > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to

now

> > what

> > > > is coming in

> > > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro

had

> a

> > > > complete

> > > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

> scan

> > > > run last week. He

> > > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

> present.

> > > His

> > > > initial

> > > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with

possible

> > Lewy

> > > > Bodies. The

> > > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> > about

> > > > all the

> > > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going

next

> > > week

> > > > to get the

> > > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being

in

> > the

> > > > dark about

> > > > > the days to come.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

I'm in awe of you for the strength you show, even while on Chemo. I am fairly

healthy and could bearly muster up enough strength to keep going when my husband

was home. I am not going to give you the take care of yourself talk, because I

know you are aware of it. Just don't run yourself down. You're on a treadmill

when you are a caregiver of a LO with LBD......Hugs, Jan

" carol.incognito " wrote:

Hi Jan,

I try to do the best I can as far as taking care of myself, but

unfortunately, others seems to come first...My two days to myself are

Saturdays and Sundays...I take my chemo on Saturday so that keeps me

down Saturday and Sunday...and then I'm running again on Monday.

lol But, I do get a lot of rest on the weekend...I am trying

hard...I know in my head but my heart sometimes just doesn't let me

stop and I keep pushing myself...I'm sure most of you have all been

there and done the same...it's a tough job.

My best,

Carol Incog

> > >

> > >

> > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard of a

> PET

> > Scan

> > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information, .

I

> > will certainly

> > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday, and

> > questioned our

> > > Doctor.

> > >

> > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET scan

is

> > used in

> > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because all

> the

> > test

> > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > treatment. It is

> > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain proteins.

So

> > yes, it can

> > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he stressed

it

> > was in research.

> > >

> > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

because

> > the Doctor

> > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have an

> > excellent doctor

> > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with our

> > Doctor. The

> > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > Imogene

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard Time,

> > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Carol,

> > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

College

> > of

> > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist we

had

> > been seeing would

> > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think it

> > didn't really

> > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to now

what

> > is coming in

> > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro had a

> > complete

> > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET scan

> > run last week. He

> > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if present.

> His

> > initial

> > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with possible

Lewy

> > Bodies. The

> > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

about

> > all the

> > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going next

> week

> > to get the

> > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being in

the

> > dark about

> > > the days to come.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Dear Carol

i am a daughter who helps my mum as my dad has LBD, please, please let your

daughter know that you are sick and that you need help if my mum didn't have me

to just even talk to (and she does have good friends and neighbours) i know she

would find it really difficult to cope, I am sure if you told your daughter she

would help you - even being able to talk or cry and let her her hug you. I

really do urge you to talk to her, reading this message made me cry, i would

hate it if my mum was sick and never told me. Please give her the choice.

Take care of yourself please.

xxx

Re: NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!!/Carol Incognito

Dear Courage,

Yes Courage, that is what I wrote. lol...it's not fun, but I have no

choice. Sometimes, you know, I sit and wonder how I do do it. I'm

56 and was always pretty healthy until about 4 years ago. In the

midst of one of my Mother's worse episdoes and me being stressed to

the max and fighting with my sisters (because of getting no help) I

became very sick.

I live alone with 2 cats, I have a daughter that lives about 20 miles

away, but I don't tell her very much about my health, because I don't

want her to worry about me, like I worry about my Mom...In fact, you

probably heard I had surgery last week and I never even told her...in

fact she still doesn't know...I want her to just be happy and enjoy

her job, her fiance and her life and not be worrying about me. I

don't feel like a martyr by doing this, it is just my love for her.

Do you know what I mean?

I do have a close friend that is very helpful and will shop or do

anything I would ask him to do. Of course, I have a hard time asking

for help, but when I am desperate, I will...I have learned to do

things over time and in small doses...likes, shopping, etc...

And like I said to Imogene the other day, I have now settled for

clean and tidy, where before, I would go nuts with the house...

Well, that's my story..lol.. .it's not as bad as it sounds...and like

my Mom says...God will take care of me so I can take care of

her...lol is she funny or what??? She actually says that to me, but

so far it is happening... . :-)

My best,

Carol Incognito

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard

of a

> > PET

> > > Scan

> > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

.

> I

> > > will certainly

> > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

and

> > > questioned our

> > > > Doctor.

> > > >

> > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

scan

> is

> > > used in

> > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

all

> > the

> > > test

> > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > treatment. It is

> > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

proteins.

> So

> > > yes, it can

> > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

stressed

> it

> > > was in research.

> > > >

> > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> because

> > > the Doctor

> > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have

an

> > > excellent doctor

> > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

our

> > > Doctor. The

> > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

Time,

> > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Carol,

> > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> College

> > > of

> > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist

we

> had

> > > been seeing would

> > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think

it

> > > didn't really

> > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to

now

> what

> > > is coming in

> > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro

had a

> > > complete

> > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

scan

> > > run last week. He

> > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

present.

> > His

> > > initial

> > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with

possible

> Lewy

> > > Bodies. The

> > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> about

> > > all the

> > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going

next

> > week

> > > to get the

> > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being

in

> the

> > > dark about

> > > > the days to come.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

You are a very sweet and caring daughter. Your Parents are very

lucky to have you and I am sure you are a very big help to you Mom

with Dad. I have been reading your posts...We are all here for the

same reason so we have lots in common.

I will think about what you said regarding my daughter. She is an

only child, has no brothers, sisters and her Dad is 1500 miles away.

We are very, very close and I don't want her to worry about me. I

grew up constantly worrying about my family (dysfunctional to say the

least) and it's no picnic and it does scar you and sometimes it may

take years to get over those scars. I tried very hard to break that

cycle of having the child be like a surrogate parents...with all the

responsiblities. It is not fair to do to children. I am the oldest

and I got the brunt of it. So, that's where my thinking comes

from...my daughter is my pride and joy.

But thanks for thinking about me,

Hugs,

Carol

>

> Dear Carol

> i am a daughter who helps my mum as my dad has LBD, please, please

let your daughter know that you are sick and that you need help if my

mum didn't have me to just even talk to (and she does have good

friends and neighbours) i know she would find it really difficult to

cope, I am sure if you told your daughter she would help you - even

being able to talk or cry and let her her hug you. I really do urge

you to talk to her, reading this message made me cry, i would hate it

if my mum was sick and never told me. Please give her the choice.

> Take care of yourself please.

> xxx

>

[Guest guest]

Big hugs right back at you Jan...

One of my favorite quotes: I DO THE BEST I CAN DO AND THAT'S ALL I

CAN DO...most times I can stick to it...lol

Carol

>

> Hi Carol,

> I'm in awe of you for the strength you show, even while on Chemo.

I am fairly healthy and could bearly muster up enough strength to

keep going when my husband was home. I am not going to give you the

take care of yourself talk, because I know you are aware of it. Just

don't run yourself down. You're on a treadmill when you are a

caregiver of a LO with LBD......Hugs, Jan

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with . Can't imagine your daughter

finding out through someone else. That would be

devastating to me as a daughter. Please let your

daughter love you with all her heart.

Sandie

-- Re: Re: NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!!/Carol Incognito

Dear Carol

i am a daughter who helps my mum as my dad has LBD, please, please let your

daughter know that you are sick and that you need help if my mum didn't have

me to just even talk to (and she does have good friends and neighbours) i

know she would find it really difficult to cope, I am sure if you told your

daughter she would help you - even being able to talk or cry and let her her

hug you. I really do urge you to talk to her, reading this message made me

cry, i would hate it if my mum was sick and never told me. Please give her

the choice.

Take care of yourself please.

xxx

Re: NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!!/Carol Incognito

Dear Courage,

Yes Courage, that is what I wrote. lol...it's not fun, but I have no

choice. Sometimes, you know, I sit and wonder how I do do it. I'm

56 and was always pretty healthy until about 4 years ago. In the

midst of one of my Mother's worse episdoes and me being stressed to

the max and fighting with my sisters (because of getting no help) I

became very sick.

I live alone with 2 cats, I have a daughter that lives about 20 miles

away, but I don't tell her very much about my health, because I don't

want her to worry about me, like I worry about my Mom...In fact, you

probably heard I had surgery last week and I never even told her...in

fact she still doesn't know...I want her to just be happy and enjoy

her job, her fiance and her life and not be worrying about me. I

don't feel like a martyr by doing this, it is just my love for her.

Do you know what I mean?

I do have a close friend that is very helpful and will shop or do

anything I would ask him to do. Of course, I have a hard time asking

for help, but when I am desperate, I will...I have learned to do

things over time and in small doses...likes, shopping, etc...

And like I said to Imogene the other day, I have now settled for

clean and tidy, where before, I would go nuts with the house...

Well, that's my story..lol.. .it's not as bad as it sounds...and like

my Mom says...God will take care of me so I can take care of

her...lol is she funny or what??? She actually says that to me, but

so far it is happening... . :-)

My best,

Carol Incognito

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard

of a

> > PET

> > > Scan

> > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

.

> I

> > > will certainly

> > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

and

> > > questioned our

> > > > Doctor.

> > > >

> > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

scan

> is

> > > used in

> > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

all

> > the

> > > test

> > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > treatment. It is

> > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

proteins.

> So

> > > yes, it can

> > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

stressed

> it

> > > was in research.

> > > >

> > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> because

> > > the Doctor

> > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have

an

> > > excellent doctor

> > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

our

> > > Doctor. The

> > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

Time,

> > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Carol,

> > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> College

> > > of

> > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist

we

> had

> > > been seeing would

> > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think

it

> > > didn't really

> > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to

now

> what

> > > is coming in

> > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro

had a

> > > complete

> > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

scan

> > > run last week. He

> > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

present.

> > His

> > > initial

> > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with

possible

> Lewy

> > > Bodies. The

> > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> about

> > > all the

> > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going

next

> > week

> > > to get the

> > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being

in

> the

> > > dark about

> > > > the days to come.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Dear Sandie,

Thank you for your thoughts and words...

Carol Incog

[Guest guest]

Me Too, I worry for a person going through so much all at one time. After my

kids left from all their cleaning up today, Don slept three hours and I

slept an hour and a half. Worn out!

Imogene

In a message dated 11/4/2006 8:39:23 PM Central Standard Time,

gaat@... writes:

Carol,

Did I just read that your are taking cemo therapy?????Did I just read that

your are taking cemo therapy?????<WBR>??? How on earth are your managing to

care for your mom at all? And, who

Courage

[Guest guest]

glad to know that you areusing resources, it is vry important, dont rule out

hospice each state has definite rules abut when hospic can come in. i love

ours!!! hugs, sharon m

---- " carol.incognito " wrote:

Sharon,

Thanks for the suggestion. We do already get some help from the

elder program in town. I have someone that comes 3x's a week for

showers and an aide that comes for 3 hours to clean and whatever else

needs to be done. That is for Mom, naturally. Sometimes, I think I

need the help as much as she does...and on some days, maybe even more

so...lol

My best,

Carol

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Maybe I need to do some more research. I have never heard

of

> a

> > > PET

> > > > Scan

> > > > > identifying a dementia. Thanks for your information,

> .

> > I

> > > > will certainly

> > > > > look into this further. I sure wish I had known yesterday,

> and

> > > > questioned our

> > > > > Doctor.

> > > > >

> > > > > Well--- I just stopped and called him. He said that a PET

> scan

> > is

> > > > used in

> > > > > research study, but is not something used everyday, because

> all

> > > the

> > > > test

> > > > > identify the illness, and the PET scan will not change the

> > > > treatment. It is

> > > > > injecting dye into the patient that binds to certain

> proteins.

> > So

> > > > yes, it can

> > > > > identify LBD, but as a clinical study in research. he

> stressed

> > it

> > > > was in research.

> > > > >

> > > > > He said it is not necessary in identifying the dementia,

> > because

> > > > the Doctor

> > > > > can do that. NO, I guess it's not necessary when you have

an

> > > > excellent doctor

> > > > > as we have. We have never felt more secure than we do with

> our

> > > > Doctor. The

> > > > > first one we had was horrible, though.

> > > > > Imogene

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > In a message dated 11/3/2006 9:51:05 AM Central Standard

> Time,

> > > > > jenniferlynnebrock@ writes:

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Carol,

> > > > > We recently went to a Geriatric Neurologist at the Baylor

> > College

> > > > of

> > > > > Medicine because I too want a definite DX. The neurologist

we

> > had

> > > > been seeing would

> > > > > only say " some kind of dementia " , and also seemed to think

it

> > > > didn't really

> > > > > matter what kind. I totally disagree, because we need to

now

> > what

> > > > is coming in

> > > > > the future to TRY to prepare for it. The Geriatric Neuro

had

> a

> > > > complete

> > > > > neuro-psych test run (that took all day), and we had a PET

> scan

> > > > run last week. He

> > > > > told us that the PET scan can identify Lewy Bodies if

> present.

> > > His

> > > > initial

> > > > > opinion before the tests was Vascular Dementia with

possible

> > Lewy

> > > > Bodies. The

> > > > > PET scan will also show if it is Vascular Dementia.

> > > > > So good luck on your " next job " of finding a Dr. who knows

> > about

> > > > all the

> > > > > different types of Dementia, including LBD. We are going

next

> > > week

> > > > to get the

> > > > > results of all the tests. Any DX will be better than being

in

> > the

> > > > dark about

> > > > > the days to come.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Carol,

I started to not respond, but I felt I needed to add my views.

I believe because of your history, you have over reacted in not telling your

daughter about

your health problems. A functional family shares problems and helps each other.

There's a

difference in keeping people in the loop and in insisting that they care for

you. If I were

your daughter and found out that you hadn't been forth coming about your health

problems, I would feel that your were pushing me away and I wouldn't interpret

it as sign

of love, but just the opposite.

From a daughter's perspective, I urge you to tell you daughter the full story.

in Dallas

>

> Dear Courage,

> Yes Courage, that is what I wrote. lol...it's not fun, but I have no

> choice. Sometimes, you know, I sit and wonder how I do do it. I'm

> 56 and was always pretty healthy until about 4 years ago. In the

> midst of one of my Mother's worse episdoes and me being stressed to

> the max and fighting with my sisters (because of getting no help) I

> became very sick.

> I live alone with 2 cats, I have a daughter that lives about 20 miles

> away, but I don't tell her very much about my health, because I don't

> want her to worry about me, like I worry about my Mom...In fact, you

> probably heard I had surgery last week and I never even told her...in

> fact she still doesn't know...I want her to just be happy and enjoy

> her job, her fiance and her life and not be worrying about me. I

> don't feel like a martyr by doing this, it is just my love for her.

> Do you know what I mean?

> I do have a close friend that is very helpful and will shop or do

> anything I would ask him to do. Of course, I have a hard time asking

> for help, but when I am desperate, I will...I have learned to do

> things over time and in small doses...likes, shopping, etc...

> And like I said to Imogene the other day, I have now settled for

> clean and tidy, where before, I would go nuts with the house...

> Well, that's my story..lol...it's not as bad as it sounds...and like

> my Mom says...God will take care of me so I can take care of

> her...lol is she funny or what??? She actually says that to me, but

> so far it is happening.... :-)

> My best,

> Carol Incognito

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Thank you for writing and I listened very carefully to what you are

saying and I do appreciate the input. I guess I do have a way of over

protecting her and always have. I just don't want her to have to be

burdoned with problems that she can't do anything about. Maybe I am

just thick headed, I don't know...I will give it some

thought...thanks...Carol Incog

[Guest guest]

Carol Incog.

I agree with what has been written by several others regarding your daughter.

She isn't you!! She needs to learn to nurture and if she never is given the

opportunity, how will she learn?

I would worry more if I were her and found out you were keeping stuff from me.

She will have to worry all the time for fear of what she isn't being told. Or

you could alway teach her she just doesn't have to care about you!!!!!!! (I

don't really think that is what you are meaning to do.)

I know you think you are loving and protecting her, and we really can't protect

our kids. They have to learn the hard lessons so they can cope with their own

lives.

Lots of hugs and hope that you will have a long talk with her.

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Re: NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!!/Carol Incognito

Dear ,

Thank you for writing and I listened very carefully to what you are

saying and I do appreciate the input. I guess I do have a way of over

protecting her and always have. I just don't want her to have to be

burdoned with problems that she can't do anything about. Maybe I am

just thick headed, I don't know...I will give it some

thought...thanks...Carol Incog

[Guest guest]

Dear Donna,

Thank for your thoughts. It makes a lot of sense. I will try a

little bit at a time, I promise. We are going to lunch this week and

I will tell her that I had the surgery and see how she reacts.

Hopefully, she won't be upset with me. I will tell her that I didn't

want her to worry and I'm sure she will understand...I have been told

by a close friend that she confided in once, that she worries about

me a lot because she feels like I am all she has...it was after

hearing that, that I really put the brakes on even telling her if I

have a headache. I know you are right and everyone else is.

FYI...this is a card she sent me last week for no reason...I will

type the words...It was the nicest card I ever got from her: I will

treasure it forever...

Mom, the older I get,

the more I realize

how much you've done for me

all my life.

I thought all mothers

loved and cared

for their daughters the way

you always did for me,

but the more I see of this world,

the more I know that

our relationship is exceptional.

I'm so lucky to have a mother

who taught me how

to love myself as well as others,

to trust my own instincts,

and to be true to myself...

then you open it and it says::

You've always been

a special person, Mom,

always caring for the people

and the world around you.

Thank you for raising me

the way you did...

I really love you.

I love you,

Sam

My best,

Carol Incog

PS I am very sad about June tonight. I can't sleep thinking about

her and her family. When I first joined the site is when June's

Darrell started getting sick and I was always anxious to hear and

hope he was doing better...to hear he passed tonight has really hit

me. It must be so difficult to talk to friends on here for so long

and then have to deal with the passing of their LO...My heart is

aching...I was worrying all week when she didn't post and I was

thinking about her and then tonight to hear this news...oh my

God...it happens so quickly...all we can do is pray for her but I

wish we could do more...she is so sweet and kind.

[Guest guest]

Dear - Carol- ,

I could easily 'simply say' -DITTO- to Donna's comments. Not telling your

daughter isn't protecting her, or her life style. Please include her, now: give

her the chance to grow.

You both may enjoy the chance of a few more hours together.

Dann

Donna Mido wrote:

[Guest guest]

I have raised nine children, and I must agree with Dann, and Donna. Also,

Carol, be sure you are not teaching her to distrust you. If you stay quiet, she

will wonder what else has been kept from her. She'll wonder if she can

really trust you to be open with her. I know you don't want that. Communication

is

the glue that holds things together. Your daughter will not come unglued,

but will feel respected, and loved because you cared and trusted her enough to

share. If we want love and trust, then first we love and trust.

Imogene

In a message dated 11/6/2006 3:40:29 AM Central Standard Time,

dann@... writes:

Dear - Carol- ,

I could easily 'simply say' -DITTO- to Donna's comments. Not telling your

daughter isn't protecting her, or her life style. Please include her, now: give

her the chance to grow.

You both may enjoy the chance of a few more hours together.

Dann

[Guest guest]

Carol, I smiled after reading your daughter's card. I had just written about

love and trust. So did she. Her card was beautiful and full of love and

trust. My big foot doesn't fit in my mouth, even thought it is big too.

Imogene

In a message dated 11/6/2006 4:18:12 AM Central Standard Time,

carol.incognito@... writes:

Dear Donna,

Thank for your thoughts. It makes a lot of sense. I will try a

little bit at a time, I promise. We are going to lunch this week and

I will tell her that I had the surgery and see how she reacts.

Hopefully, she won't be upset with me. I will tell her that I didn't

want her to worry and I'm sure she will understand..want her to worry and

by a close friend that she confided in once, that she worries about

me a lot because she feels like I am all she has...it was after

hearing that, that I really put the brakes on even telling her if I

have a headache. I know you are right and everyone else is.

FYI...this is a card she sent me last week for no reason...I will

type the words...It was the nicest card I ever got from her: I will

treasure it forever...

Mom, the older I get,

the more I realize

how much you've done for me

all my life.

I thought all mothers

loved and cared

for their daughters the way

you always did for me,

but the more I see of this world,

the more I know that

our relationship is exceptional.

I'm so lucky to have a mother

who taught me how

to love myself as well as others,

to trust my own instincts,

and to be true to myself...

then you open it and it says::

You've always been

a special person, Mom,

always caring for the people

and the world around you.

Thank you for raising me

the way you did...

I really love you.

I love you,

Sam

My best,

Carol Incog

PS I am very sad about June tonight. I can't sleep thinking about

her and her family. When I first joined the site is when June's

Darrell started getting sick and I was always anxious to hear and

hope he was doing better...to hear he passed tonight has really hit

me. It must be so difficult to talk to friends on here for so long

and then have to deal with the passing of their LO...My heart is

aching...I was worrying all week when she didn't post and I was

thinking about her and then tonight to hear this news...oh my

God...it happens so quickly...all we can do is pray for her but I

wish we could do more...she is so sweet and kind.

[Guest guest]

Hi Imogene,

It's a normal response...don't feel like that...no one can truly

understand what kind of relationship two people have..sometimes, the

people in the relationship don't know for sure...lol

I understand...

Hugs,

Carol Incog