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Jeanie-

I appreciated your point of view and loved what you said about not

letting CHARGE win. I agree and try to find a balance between my

" normal " stuff and my CHARGE stuff. Sometimes I have to force myself to

continue with the big group activities with my friends. They have all

been an outstanding source of support, but I find it easier to handle

emotionally when we do things one-on-one. You sound very solid and I'm

sure that will continue to serve you well as you journey thru

" CHARGEland " .

Michele

mom to Aubrie (10.5 mos) CHargE and (7 yrs)

IL

westml@...

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Congratulations! you did a pretty fine job. It is amasing to me to see

how you all cope. I know how you feel and I HAVE BEEN THERE !! but all

my support !!

Love

JANA LOUW

> coping

>

>

>

> Michele

>

> I've always wondered if my best friend's daughter who is 1 month

> younger

> than Caitlyn (but was talking and walking before my kid could even

> roll

> over) would accept Caitlyn when they were older. And you know what,

> Caitlyn won't accept her. Caitlyn screams every time she sees this

> child now for the past 9 mos. even though they've been playing

> together

> for 2 1/2 yrs. We've talked to behaviorists and we're trying to work

> through it, but this other girl wants so bad to play with my kid but

> Caitlyn will have no parts of it.

>

> My suggestion is to not cut yourself off completely to your friends

> with

> " typical " children. For one thing, I've used my friend as a guide,

> because I take my cues from Caitlyn and she never gives me any cues, I

>

> use my friend as a " typical role model " and it's helped. But I do

> limit

> our get togethers to what I can take. Besides, if you surround

> yourself

> with all special needs families, when you're ready to deal with your

> other friends again, they may not be there for you. So take it on

> slowly, what you can handle.

>

> I remember Caitlyn's first year, I couldn't even go to the mall

> without

> crying. Watching mothers feed their babies from their breast or

> bottle

> with no tubes (while my kid was at home with a babysitter too ill to

> go

> out). Anyway, I always ramble, sorry.

>

> Jeanne

>

>

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

> --

>

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I really appreciate the comments about coping. I think we're all in the

same boat. That is why this list becomes so much a part of our lives,

and why getting together at conferences and meetings helps so much. A

nice thing about the CHARGE conferences is that when your child pukes or

falls, or is tube fed, or whatever, nobody looks at you like you're from

a different planet.

Tim Hartshorne (father of )

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> nobody looks at you like you're from

> a different planet.

>

Do you guys ever feel like this without reason? I have noticed that I

am less receptive to strangers talking to Aubrie in public than I was

with . I kind of turn away and try to limit the conversation.

With , I was so thrilled with him that I warmly welcomed

strangers' comments. Now that I'm aware of this reaction, I will try to

change it. Aubrie's really enjoying strangers now too. She used to

just look at them. Now she looks at me for approval first, then gives

them a beautiful smile.

nobody looks at you like you're from

a different planet.

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Jackie,

15 minutes talking about cleaning a bathroom.. I'm lucky

if I can find 15 minutes to CLEAN the bathrooms !!

Having with his hearing and medical probs and Ken

with his LDs sure makes life interesting around here. So

far I have had three meetings at school for .. two for

Ken and a couple more coming.. A husband that may

end up back on the road again ( only home on weekends

if we're lucky)

Anyway.. I borrowed this from a friend on another list,

thought it was appropriate:

Some houses try to hide the fact

That children shelter there;

Ours boasts of it quite openly

The signs are everywhere.

For smears are on the windows

Little smudges on the doors;

I should appologize I guess

For toy's strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children

And we played and laughed and read;

And if the doorbell doesn't shine

Their eye's will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to choose

The one job or the other;

I want to be a housewife

But first I'll be a mother.

Sheryl

Casey

charge@...

minnow@...

Mom to Dawn 19, Ken 8 ADHD, and 6 CHARGE.

Cobb California

ICQ UIN# 728514

ICQ Pager http://wwp.mirabilis.com/728514

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