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Dear Janet,

Welcome back; I missed you :-)

You said:

<<Pfeiffer specializes in learning, mood, and behavior disorders. I asked

them directlyh how they described themselves so i could tell others.

Depression and thus anti-d's = mood anyway.>>

** Yes. What I was trying to say was Pfeiffer didn't quite specialize in

the treatment of people who suffered from long term effects of psychotropic

drugs but they comne about as close as one will get.

I tried emailing you privately but both emails bounced. Melody tried,

too.

Regards,

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Hi ;

Thanks for the emails from all.

Actually Pfeiffer does specialize in long term drug damage, esp

psychotropics as if you can find one schiz or violent being who hasn't

been on drugs long term i'd be surprised. They don't go about it

exactly as you do;they do it slowly and one person pointed out they

might have been less than zealous in detox in the past. But Wm Walsh the

director is aware of this and this maybe changing. or maybe has changed.

I know the staff is caring. I avoided them for awhile because i knew

what my problem was and well like how could they help really? and i

didn't know what to say about it all. they kept calling and emailing

even with me avoiding them. all to no extra cost.

BTW Jay, an in person appt at chicago or one of the outreaches will

probably run you between $700-900 but they do tons of history

taking/analysis and lab testing. And they are available for consult if

youever run into a problem. I did. And it was handled at no extra cost.

Unfortunately i've had to drop out of the program because of money and

also really what chance is there of me ever getting better enough to do

anything much and also i have no interests, no motivation, and no energy

and with the no money well it was just not worthwhile anymore for me.

Jay is young and more spring backable than me. He hasn't been majorly

drugged for 16 yrs.

With that. thanks again.

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Hi Janet,

You said:

<<Unfortunately i've had to drop out of the program because of money and

also really what chance is there of me ever getting better enough to do

anything much and also i have no interests, no motivation, and no energy

and with the no money well it was just not worthwhile anymore for me.

Jay is young and more spring backable than me. He hasn't been majorly

drugged for 16 yrs.>>

***I'm sorry you're feeling so badly.

I feel that I must remind you that ALL these things you are feeling--the

lack of interest, motivation, energy and hope--are symptoms of the aftermath

of the drugs. They are emotional manifestations of what is going on in your

body's chemistry right now.

These types of symptoms are not at all unusual in the withdrawal and

recovery process--in fact, they are quite common and should be expected.

That doesn't necessarily make them more comfortable, but it makes it more

understandable and hopefully, easier to accept.

I am really glad you shared these feelings, because they are all clues. All

symptoms are clues to lead us toward what will make us better. It is hard

to remember this, because conventional medicine doesn't work that way. They

think that if you have emotional symptoms, you need psychotropic drugs. Not

true.

You are a whole being, with a body, a mind, a spirit, and emotions.

Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual symptoms add up to the whole

picture, and guide us in understanding what is happening at the time to the

being as a whole.

There is much that can be done.

Please continue to communicate these symptoms, either on-list or privately

to , so that we can keep putting the clues together and make this

recovery work. Many people have recovered who have been on drugs even

longer than you have.

You will get through this.

I would also like to remind you and everyone that one of the most

frustrating things about recovery is that it is not a linear process.

People don't feel a little bit better, then a little bit better, then a

little better still until they are one day completely healed.

Instead, people feel a little bit better, and then worse. Then they feel

quite a lot better, and then they feel awful. When they get through the

awful, they feel a LOT better, and then worse again, and so it goes.

The brain and body are very complex systems, with incalculable numbers of

chemical processes going on all the time. As one part of the system starts

to heal, other, still-damaged parts react to the new activity, which throws

the whole thing off for a while, until all the different parts get used to

each other again. This happens over and over, as all the little systems

attempt to come back to functionality.

Often, a period of feeling terrible is actually a time of considerable

healing.

I'm so glad to see you back here. Please keep communicating, and keep

reminding yourself that this is a complex process that takes a lot of time.

We're here for you.

Hugs,

Kim

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Dear Janet,

This is just a quick note on the fly.

You said:

>

> Thanks for taking the time and effort to write all that out. It's

> helpful but unfortuantely i've felt like this all my life, with a

few

> bouts of mania. I'm running out of steam myself. Your post was

> encouraging. Thanks again.>>

And if medicine knew what it was doing it would have recognized

what was going on and fortified your body to function as it should.

Something else to think about is given what you've shared with me

about family, who the hell wouldn't feel this way?!

ly, there's no use looking at what was. After all your

chemistry has been through I seriously doubt that the original

baseline is still there. Honestly, I wish it was. At this point,

it would no longer be an issue. That is simple to mitigate with

compared to the aftermath ofpsychotropic drugs.

You know where to focus your attention. Connect with what is and

you will remember that hopelessness is an illusion.

Regards,

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