Observer : For Kim

[Guest guest]

Hello Kim & Group,

I hope all is well with ALL you;

Keven Wrote:

<<Kim, gosh, you're right, I " should " look at it as 'simple' as

withdrawl, and not try to decipher (spelling?) if it pax-hell

related, or not. It's just kinda really freakin me out is all... >>

Kim Wrote:

***That's a good approach. All this stuff IS kinda freaky, make no

mistake.

It's pretty upsetting to get all these bizarre symptoms and still

try to go

ahead and function. You're doing great. Try to remain a neutral

observer

of your symptoms, as if from a distance. See yourself as a scientific

expert on the phenomena of withdrawal. It tends to make the process

a bit

less freaky.

Kim...I thank you SO MUCH for sharing a different perspective with

me. Although it is a very interesting, and really helped or is

helping at the current time, I'd just like to address a (what I

thought) was a " fact " to me...again, based upon what Dr. has 'said'

to me, about the certain 'class' of the drug(s). Each time I " tried "

something...

In general:.....I always try to be aware of my surroundings, where I

am at in " life " , and often (try to) focus on where I'd like to point

my goals; for a bright(er) future. I use tools to: then reach out,

learn, share, and grow towrads that said or particular goal.

I'm a very, very detail oriented person. (A virgo) If this helps you

(or anyone) further underdstand the type of person [i think] I am.

It's impoartant to " me " , to know, what happened, & why, etc...with

the hopes of " learning " from it, and then I can apply these tools,

if need be, if something similar happens again, or next time, or in

another situation where the " tool " I learned, may be of value for

thar particular situation or event.

This recent " trip " , I supposed to attach a term to it, has just left

me wondering many, many things is all.

In My Doctor's Humble Opinion-> doctor: " Xanax, is nothing more that

doing a shot of strong Irish whiskey " ... " It'll calm you, and help

you better function if you get a panic attack " ...

I never even had a panic attack, not that I am aware of - I have

felt panic, who doesn't...but the reason I was still visiting the

Dr. and still on Xanax, was because I shared (2) two reason's /

symptoms / feelings / (call em' what you want) with him. - It was

Dr. & patient conversation during " visits " . This my primary care

Dr. for regular health reasons, not a psych.

#1) It seems that I have lost the ability to " yawn " . This is the

best way I can describe this feeling. What I've KNOWN to be true,

is that, for 29 yrs of my 31yrs of age, I have always had the

ability to " take in " extra air (oxygen) when you should happen to

want it. It's like the mechanism (inside) when you see someone

else " yawn " , and then you [your brain] auto-matically gets

triggered, and you yawn also.

well, that's gone in me...anyways, SO very hard to define or

describe...I wish I could do better for a description of it. : (

sorry...

#2 I told him, the moment I wake, I have about (7) seconds of what

feels " normal " , and then super-racing thoughts arrive, and this is

how I am ALL day. I've always been a thinker, and have not seen an

issue with " thinking " too much in my past... It's just

this " thinking " in the latter parts of my life, seems very non-

productive, (like useless clutter) or thoughts/actions that should

be, or would be best spent, to better oneself, not everyday worry

about everyday things...

Anywhoo, after the (7) seconds of early, morning " normal " : then

it's the #1) tightening in chest, yawn mechanism internal error,

then #2 non-productive racing thoughts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In one of my inital posts to (HIYA JOEY!!!), anyways...I had

shared a little of my past; and started to strengthen my knowledge

base, by hearing of her Bob's story. I had/and do have interest.

My whole life, I've tried to stear away from the SSRI class...I knew

somewhat, about the class, and was VERY hesistant to start any of

them...the were " head pills " ...

The Benzo, I was under the assumption, was a " body / nerve " pill,

serperate class, WAY different than an SSRI (Zoloft's, Prozacs, etc)

and whatever classes Buspar, Wellbutrin, & WellbutrinSR are in. I

don't believe these to be in that class.

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

a.) Maybe, just maybe, the Benzo withdrawl is more diffucult than I

had

previously had intentions on what it would be like.

or

b.) Half Life (effect) of Pax was showing itself:

or

c.) Stress overload, triggered " something " ...

Group, we ALL have stress, especially now (holidays) everyone's

freaking out for ONE DAY...and then, it's gone...we'll soon forget

these stresses, and go back to rutine...

Anywhoo...what might be small potatoes to one person, might be a

whole sack to another. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

CreativeSources2 (or just JAN) not (Janet) knows, off-line what is

going on within my family.

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`

Out of respect for the group, and where , , and Kim,

want to take this - I choose to leave somethings off-list.

Basically, I don't see the need to use this / or / any support site

as a dumping ground for each & every personal struggle I may have.

BUT REST ASSURED, there is a rather large sack of potatoes going on

within my family, that brought on and is bringing added stress for

us; during this time.

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`

Sorry for the book, what else am I going to do with myself, wide

awake, again... ; )

" ...hugs to all, blessings to each; make the time to give, better

yet - take the time to teach... "

by, Keven G. Soenen

peace be with you all, during this season, and always!

<<<T.J.<--stay strong buddy!!! & keep a brave face!!!>>>

Keven