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JAY

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I don't want you to give up hope that you will get better.Why don't you try some of the things Cathrine suggests like fish oil and vitimins it can't hurt to try.No one can promise you anything especialy not me because hope is all i have that things will improve and they are slowly but slowly is better than nothing.I think personaly that the ZAPS is what caused me to lose my memory and the fact i was in and out of withdrawal for such a long time because there was noone to help me.The doctor told me he had never heard of the Zaps.All i had was a stupid leaflet that i read a million times telling me i cannot become addicted to these pills.These pills are not addictive.And remember you cannot become addicted to these pills.3 times on one stupid leaflet.I think my brain got fried.I may just have to except that i will never be as i once was makes me sick to think about it but looks like i am stuck with it.Ican't turn the clock back so i have to move forward. Roz

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Thankyou Glitter,

I needed that hug it took a lot out of me to admit that to myself and thankyou Jay for making me face up to the fact i am where i am and there is not much i can do about it. I guess there is no one better qualified for me to talk to than you Glitter you have already been where i am at.I don't have much of a life at all but your right it's better than no life.You know what i went through to get to where i am today.I even had 2 ugly reminders lastnight,yes 2 zaps one right after the other.Not feeling to happy after admiting that to myself just now so i will have to go and think about what i am going to try to do to make myself feel like i am worth something. Hugs to you to Glitter

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There

is no way im going to heal a ton after i have already

had a year of healing.

You don't know this. That's like saying you couldn't recover fully from a broken back even though you've healed somewhat in the first year. I think you set up these paradigms that will make it impossible for you to get better simply because you don't believe you will. Perhaps it was this negative thinking pattern that led you to the drugs in the first place? Not everyone feels the same emotion every day all day. You said you took the drugs so you could feel more than occasionally happy. I don't know anyone who's happy day in and day out. That's just the normal course of living -- terrible things happen that make you sad, disappointed, depressed, angry, etc. That's life. To try and medicate yourself into a state of constant neurochemical bliss is folly, IMHO. Those of us who are YEARS out from taking these drugs keep telling you that the progress is slow, but there is progress, way beyond the one-year mark. I don't understand why you don't believe us, since we're actually the experts on this experience.

Blind Reason

a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

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Spent my Christmas break making bags incorporating vintage kimono fabrics

and I'm really pleased with the results. They are a hit with everyone I've

shown so far and I now have the courage to try selling them.

What a fabulous idea! My God, if Lewinsky could make millions sellling those stupid bags she was making, I'm sure you would do really well with a lovely bag made from vintage kimono fabrics. See, there IS life after these drugs. I'm really not one to be looking for silver linings, but would you have done this kind of project had you NOT taken these drugs and had the need to reinvent yourself??? Can you get a website up and running for your bags? Just be careful, something as lovely as that could take off BIG TIME and you could find yourself flooded with orders. Good luck on this. They sound divine!!!

Blind Reason

a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

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I'll be spending my weekends building

that up and I also hope to start making some in leather and suede (so far

Ive only made them in silk). My plan is to sell them on eBay and see how

I go. Bags/purses sell like hotcakes there!

I need to get my husband's handstitched elk and deer skin bags on eBay, but he makes them and then won't sell them. Same with his willow doll furniture. We only have so much space in our house for his creations -- my bedrooms boasts an entire suite of miniature willow chairs and loveseats (for my childhood teddy bears!) That's what he did when he was in rehab for his head injury. I guess necessity IS the mother of invention. Can't wait to see your bags, so keep us posted. That's so exciting.

Blind Reason

a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

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Well said. I was thinking along the same lines, but could never be as

articulate

as you Trish.

I too have been reinventing myself. Delving into my creative side and loving

it. I don't think I would have come to this point, had it not been for my

drug experience.

Spent my Christmas break making bags incorporating vintage kimono fabrics

and I'm really pleased with the results. They are a hit with everyone I've

shown so far and I now have the courage to try selling them.

Jay, at 1 year post drugs I was still pretty much a mess, but decided at

about that time I didn't want to wallow in misery anymore and started getting

active.

Debs

>-- Original Message --

>To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery

>From: glitterari@...

>Date: Wed, 14 Jan 2004 17:35:58 EST

>Subject: Re: JAY

>Reply-To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery

>

>

>In a message dated 1/14/04 1:22:12 PM Mountain Standard Time,

>grabar5@... writes:

>

>

>>

>> i believe everyone that has been out longer then me.

>> I just know that you dont heal as well as hoped.

>>

>

>Oy vey. Jay, listen to me. Read my lips. There are many things in life

>

>that don't turn out as we had hoped. I wish I were richer, living in the

>

>tropics, driving a Hummer, taller, thinner, etc. The list could be endless.

>

>Survivors of other illnesses probably feel much as you do -- they'd like

>to be more

>well, stronger, have more endurance, not take medication, etc. But in the

>

>end, I'd bet most of them are just happy to have survived. I know that

it

>the

>thing I am most grateful for after taking Paxil. THAT I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF!!!!

>

>It puts everything else into perspective. I'm sure my brilliant,

>sophisticated, accomplished husband wishes he didn't suffer a traumatic

brain

>that

>robbed him of his career as a celebrity chef. When he pisses and moans,

>I remind

>him that he could be sitting in a wheelchair drooling and peeing and pooping

>in

>his pants. I'm sorry, but belaboring the point about how you won't get

>better, or not as better as you would like, smacks of doom and gloom to

me

>and with

>that attitude, you surely will impede your recovery just by thinking those

>

>negative thoughts. Of course, I rue the day I took Paxil -- it stripped

>me of

>all I knew in my life as a jetsetting producer. I grieved the loss of that

>

>existence, but then even I got bored with my self-indulgent, stupid self-pity

>and

>decided to do something about it. So now, being disabled, I've managed

to

>

>get a book published, and besides plugging away at the sequel, I'm about

>to

>produce a line of gourmet food products. I'd never in my life thought about

>doing

>the latter, but it's what I CAN do right now, so that's what I'm GOING TO

>

>DO!!! I wish I could go back to being a record producer, spending 12 -

18

>hours

>in the recording studio, listening to loud music, but I CAN'T! I'd have

>a

>seizure and that's that. I know how hard it is to be hopeful, but think

>about

>all the people who did NOT SURVIVE taking Paxil. Think about the children

>who

>hanged themselves, or shot themselves or others, mothers who killed their

>

>children and are now in prison, the list is endless of the tragedies that

>surround

>these drugs. YOU SURVIVED! You WILL get better. Please don't be an

>impediment to your progress by thinking so negatively. Find joy and gratitude

>in the

>fact that you have made progress, however little it may seem to you. Hugs.

>

>

>

>

>Blind Reason

>a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

>Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

>

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So far I only have 5 in my collection. I'll be spending my weekends building

that up and I also hope to start making some in leather and suede (so far

Ive only made them in silk). My plan is to sell them on eBay and see how

I go. Bags/purses sell like hotcakes there!

>-- Original Message --

>To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery

>From: glitterari@...

>Date: Wed, 14 Jan 2004 23:29:36 EST

>Subject: Re: JAY

>Reply-To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery

>

>

>In a message dated 1/14/04 9:10:59 PM Mountain Standard Time,

>debs_n@... writes:

>

>

>> Spent my Christmas break making bags incorporating vintage kimono fabrics

>> and I'm really pleased with the results. They are a hit with everyone

>I've

>> shown so far and I now have the courage to try selling them.

>>

>

>What a fabulous idea! My God, if Lewinsky could make millions

>sellling those stupid bags she was making, I'm sure you would do really

well

>with a

>lovely bag made from vintage kimono fabrics. See, there IS life after these

>

>drugs. I'm really not one to be looking for silver linings, but would you

>have

>done this kind of project had you NOT taken these drugs and had the need

>to

>reinvent yourself??? Can you get a website up and running for your bags?

> Just

>be careful, something as lovely as that could take off BIG TIME and you

could

>

>find yourself flooded with orders. Good luck on this. They sound divine!!!

>

>

>

>Blind Reason

>a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

>Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

>

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I’ve

attached a picture of one of my bags. Tried to upload it to the photos page,

but couldn’t work the damn thing out!

Hope you like it.

Debs

Re:

JAY

In a message dated 1/14/04 9:40:29

PM Mountain Standard Time, debs_n@... writes:

I'll be spending my weekends

building

that up and I also hope to start making some in leather and suede (so far

Ive only made them in silk). My plan is to sell them on eBay and see how

I go. Bags/purses sell like hotcakes there!

I need to get my husband's handstitched elk and deer skin bags on eBay, but he

makes them and then won't sell them. Same with his willow doll

furniture. We only have so much space in our house for his creations --

my bedrooms boasts an entire suite of miniature willow chairs and loveseats

(for my childhood teddy bears!) That's what he did when he was in rehab

for his head injury. I guess necessity IS the mother of

invention. Can't wait to see your bags, so keep us posted.

That's so exciting.

Blind

Reason

a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again.

Yahoo!

Groups Links

·

To visit your group on the

web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Withdrawal_and_Recovery/

·

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