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drugs block emotions

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My experience of drugs blocking emotion:

I started at 80 mg/day of Parnate. I reduced by 10 mg/month. By the time I got

to

40 mg/day I would go into my therapists office and cry and cry and cry. He

thought I was under medicated. I knew that the drug had blocked intense

emotional

expression as well as expressions of love, of anger, etc. I had also started

counseling with peers and they encouraged this outpouring of emotional anguish.

The therapist got scared. I can understand that. For 8 years I had sat in his

office saying " I don't know what I feel. " And I didn't. Not until the lower

anti-d dose let me start feeling again.

PS now I get the Parnate compounded into small dose capsules at a compounding

pharmacy since it doesn't come any smaller than 10 mg tabs and my mind is too

broken to deal with shaving the tabs grain by grain.

I can't remember what I take or when so now I try to refill my weekly drug box

before I finish the last day. I also have a couple daily boxes that I carry with

me and another weekly that sits on the kitchen counter. Diferent stuff goes in

them all.

My Integrative pdoc has me giving myself B12 injections on a weekly basis now.

We'll see how it goes for a month and evaluate.

Rambling on again. I just say that I tried to sign off but kept writing.

~~~~~sigh~~~~~

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