- Mmmm et al

[Guest guest]

Hi

Last Wednesday I received a letter telling me that I have an

appointment on Dec 15th to see a neurologist - the day before I'm due

to go in for another op on the knee injury caused durung the assualt

by my ex partner in '97 -

I'm really phased out by this Neuro appointment because after so long

trying to get answers and help – I don't know what to expect – I was

already concerned about the knee op and drug reactions since getting

notification a couple of weeks ago – but was at teh time tide up on

two other board and have not had time to ask about it – and these

boards have been all over the place since then and I was waiting till

they settled down -

In March '99 I took myself off the SSRI cold turkey, after taking it

for six months, because I getting progressivly more physically ill

every day and was geting no help from my Dr - all treatment for

everything was withheld by the Dr who had bullied and belittled me

when I was at a low ebb into taking it - until I had had a full psych

report, the results of which were not available until about late

November '99 – 'sane, but not surprisingly slightly depressed

considering my personal history, recommended no further drug therapy'

- so again I was diagnosed on my social history NOT the symptoms I was

or had presented -

Dr then said he had lined up a Neurologist and Dietician for me to see

– great, I thought, any help at this point would be good and at least

we were moving in a direction, although I didn't at the time know how

right that direction was - but he was an ex army Dr who would have

been well up to speed on 'toxic poisoning', 'neurological damage' and

my symptoms at the time I took myself off the SSRI all pointed in that

direction -

So I went home and waited for the appointments to arrive - next thing

I got was a letter from the Dr's saying that 'he and the practice

wanted me to sign on with another surgery' - since then, because of

moves I've had three other Dr's - and yet another full psych report

last year requested by my current Dr, who thought an adverse reaction

to an SSRI was unlikely and would certainly not have caused the wide

spectrum of symptoms I was presenting - Psych's recommendation Seroxat

- which I refused to take -

I have been stuck in this loop for four years now with Dr's who didn't

believe the reaction even happened – and certainly didn't believe the

severity or complexities of it or the symptoms it caused - I have, to

cover my back, not even mentioned some of the symptoms like zaps,

tic's, suicidal ideation etc. to any of them until Seroxat was taken

of the list for under 18 yr olds - when I could say that 'I felt quite

justified in not taking it last year in the light of the adverse

reaction I'd had to Lustral in 98/99' -

This was eventually when my Dr stopped looking at me with a sort of

half smirk on her lips when I tried to discuss the link between

Lustral and the symptoms I was trying to get treated - hence at long

last the Neuro' appointment -

Sh*t it's been a long road and now I'm scared as hell - I know a lot

of people have gone down this road and nothing has shown on any of the

tests that have been done - but I also know others who have real

damage like strokes or serotonin scarring in the brain that will never

be repairable -

Having worked with people with altzymers, parkinsons, strokes etc. and

also cared for my mother since she had a stoke (not drug related) in

September 2002 - I know that the brain will improve after damage with

the right stimulus - I also know that I have improved, helping others

(including my mother), taking up issues on other boards - the fight to

get help to others that needed it has helped me – it's been physically

and mentally draining and exhausting but it has helped on lots of

levels -

But I have been ignoring myself - I have not taken up the problems I

was discussing with you last year when my mother had the stroke and I

was called away to care for her – because of the shear physical and

mental exhaustion the additional work caused I did not have the energy

or time when I had a rare day at home to post although I did read some

times – I new that once I started to work with you that I would need

to be able to keep in regular contact – I also knew this would be

impossible as I did not have net access at my mothers -

Since being back on line on a regular basis I have been caught up

trying to get help to people on a UK board who were being denied this

by the board owner and the backers – the ones I had short listed who

had problems over and above SSRI issues have now all made contact here

– and I hope that the board politics and the smear campaign by Charly

and others from the UK board will not stop them from taking what is on

offer here –

I will add here for those people from the UK board who I hope may be

reading - that I for one in the last 5 years have not met one person

who has as much knowledge or understanding of the human body, the

effects of SSRI damage and damage limitation than – at least

no-one who is willing to give so freely the advice and help that is

needed so badly by so many –

Yes there are others working in this field but not at this level – not

where it is needed – books and advice are available - but – they are

difficult to understand and open, like so much in life, to personal

interpretation and therefore misinterpretation – especially by those

who are already suffering 'drug fugg', confusion and concentration

problems – and information overload can be one huge problem when you

can't think straight – straws are to easy to grasp at, a substancial

stong hold much harder to find -

Yes, I may be biased - but I have been using 's methods ie.

food and supplements and philosophy to control symptoms that I new

were physical from my early teens and which has – despite Dr's

calling it depression since I had my first child – been confirmed by

and others since I had net access –

Being dyslexic I never had the education or training to prove what I

believed, no one would take seriously – I have spent most of my life

being vilified for, in the words of one of the psychs I've seen since

my brush with SSRIs, 'my rather strange alternative view on health

care' - but others like do understand and it does work –

Sorry this has turned into a rather long post and I have digressed

from the point completely - but I was concerned about the trouble on

the booards and wanted although late in the day to show my support to

you – and LOL - this has taken me to long to write to

seperate it into two posts -

So back to where I started do you have any idea what's

likely to happen when I go see the Neuro, anything in particular I

should ask about or tell them? And as far as the knee op, I go to

have pre op checks next Tuesday anything I should ask or tell them?

Sorry again about the long post and thanks for reading

Take care - speaks soon

Tuesday