Re: Re: Jay how are you????

[Guest guest]

YOu hit the nail on the head, jay. The thing i remember often is that

schizophrenics do much better in thrid world nations than they do in

" first " . I even seriously considered emigrating at one point because i

couldn't take the negativity of such a label. It essentially says one

is of no value and not to be listened to no matter what one has to say

or what one does. ignore her and she will go away. janet

[Guest guest]

Dear Jay,

You said:

<<i have lived in another culture and this culture is so

screwd up its unbelievable. and im not just talking

about drugs. i learned this way before i knew what

drugs could do.

i thought i would say this because you guys are

talking about how our culture is so achieved based and

thought of as not important unless your doing

something or accumlating something (usually money).

And even though i know this its impossible not to get

wrapped up in this once you live here.

im having even more trouble because my mother values

this lifestyle so much she makes me feel so bad for

the way i am. I think it would be a lot easier for me

to accept if i werent living here. The sad thing is

she doesnt even understand that she does this. She is

so blinded to it? im sure a lot of people on this

board who have family memebers that exhert the essence

of this culture and is very troublesome to those that

cant achieve like others because of the medication.

Even though i have trouble doing this, in most cultures

if someone was so achievement based like most

americans others would think your really weird and

ignore you. >>

** I understand what you're saying. I think your experience is more

common than some might think.

We have several periods in our lives when we face separation and

individuation from the parent similar to that we experienced when born. At

that time, the separation was in the form of the umbilical cord being cut.

The connection to the parent was the ultimate in physical dependency.

Another significant one comes when we first leave the parent to go to

school, daycare or something similar. This separation allows for more

emotional independence.

As we step up through the years, there are a number of smaller examples of

our struggle to be " born " as individuals. What you're talking about is

perhaps the most difficult primarily because it is unrecognized.

We cannot be fully be ourselves until we have cut through the

conditioning of which you speak and defined who we REALLY are. This is a

spiritual rite of passage. What stops people here many times is the

discomfort with being misunderstood and/or judged.

It takes some work and time to define ourselves. But the more we do this,

the more comfortable we become and less vulnerable we are to the lack of

understanding, and/or judgment of others.

One of your strengths, Jay, is your determination. This will serve you

well as you go through the journey of knowing and loving who you are even

though it may bring you to a place very different from where others around

you are.

I think this is a great topic for the list. Everyone, please feel free

to jump in here with your thoughts and stories.

Regards,

[Guest guest]

Hello;

I might've seemed like i was whining and puling about being a " schiz "

butnow i'm proud of it and i think it is others' loss fornot knowing me

or others who get tagged and discarded. Someday i'll probably ust settle

down to eingplain old-- janet :-)

[Guest guest]

, I'm basically family-less too, just me and my cats right now for

the most part. Mother tolerates me but i don't think she is even aware

that i am a person. i am a duty or something. janet