Wow is all I can say.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Well here comes some real straight stuff from me. I thought this was really

important to share.

My new 'relationship' continues to teach me alot. This is why I still get

scared but as I continue to actually deal with what it is bringing up, the urges

get easier. The more I decide to feel and stay in it, the more I learn. I am

also seeing that you can't always think your way out of this stuff. And waiting

through that initial reaction is important, letting it settle.

Basically, because of the horrible marraige I am getting out of, every time he

does something similar (but not similar in the way of true similarities). my

head jumps to the conclusion that he is exactly like my ex. These are small

insignificant things that turn into huge things for me because my mind thinks

" This means all men are like ex " or " This means that he is unfaithful " and

these are not about now. They are about my ex. They have nothing to do with my

new relationship.

This is a funny example. not a true one. This would be ludicrous but my mind

can do things like think, just because he likes cars and my ex likes cars he is

like my ex. Or Just because he has the same brand of jeans or is from the same

city or is a truck driver or ..... any of that. And the harder ones are, he

didn't tell me this right away does that mean that he is hiding alot from me.

He may be but he may not be. My usual reactions in the past were to run and

think they are all like this. Victimizing and staying stuck. I am making a

choice to find out instead of run. My mind can go to the 'this is happening

again' thing. It has been very eye opening and difficult at the same time.

This is something I am going to have to deal with. No matter where this thing

goes. Because if I don't deal with it now and this doesn't work out for me, it

will all happen again when I try to have a relationship again. It is an

excellent lesson in seeing what my mind is doing to me. And I can see what it

is doing outside this relationship too. So, I just had to share.

Sending Sunshine,

Robyn

I forgot to mention what " choiceless awareness " is. It's basically a

detached, non-engaging, non-fusing, non-judgmental, " light " awareness

of whatever phenomena arises, including phenomena that arises in

connection with other phenomena.

(Phenomena = thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensitivities, flavors of

mind, moods, vibes, stories, narratives, basically all of the stuff,

pleasant or unpleasant, that the mind creates or adds to reality,

which includes basically everything that makes up these cherished

little worlds that we live in)

Here is a link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choiceless_awareness

This guy from youtube named Adyashanti explains it very well.

The spiritually suggestive phrasing can be ignored, what he is

basically describing is mindfulness and defusion as presented in ACT,

the idea that suffering arises because we see the world through the

compulsive lens of our thoughts and feelings, rather than seeing our

thoughts and feelings for what they are, harmless mental creations,

and letting them flow through our minds as they please.

> >

> > Hi guys - for those of you that meditate, or are familiar with

the

> > research into mindfulness practices, perhaps you can help me

out.

> >

> > My question is, what's a good routine of practice for mindfulness

> > meditation? Specifically, the frequency and duration of

sessions.

> > Obviously anything is better than nothing, but I know there's

been

> > some significant research on mindfulness practices, and I wonder

if

> an

> > " optimal program " has emerged.

> >

> > Is one hour better than two hours? Are two half-hour stints (one

> > morning, one evening) better than one continuous hour? Is there

> any

> > technique that stands out above the others? (e.g. breath-

awareness,

> > inner-body-awareness, mantra meditation, etc).

> >

> > If anyone knows if there's any hard evidence on this stuff, or

can

> > point me in the direction of some studies, that'd be awesome.

> >

> > Cheers!

> > Rich

> >

>