Re: Boinking, hurting, and suffering

[Guest guest]

Hi Randy,

For me, there are two tiers, at least, of psychic suffering. There is

absolutely pure pain, which is simply a fact. Then, there is gobs and

gobs of processing around that episode of pain. FEAR that it will

happen over and over. MEMORIES of other times I felt pain in the

past. PROJECTIONS of being debilitated in the future by pain. SHAME

that I'm 31 and still going through this. Hours of rumination about

the source of the pain, whether or not I should call a doctor, whether

or not I should be in therapy, ET CETERA.

I am considering that the 'problem' may be in the processing and not

in the pain. I am trying to discover the most effective and

compassionate way to deal with this pain/suffering. It is not obvious.

Speaking of therapy, I spoke this morning to a therapist who is

familiar with ACT and likes it, but does mostly CBT. I liked her and

I think she could be a good fit with me. She charges $150 per hour.

I don't see how I can pay that. Lentils anyone?

>

> Boink! Great thread, wonderful posts. I agree with 's point that

> we all bring different interpretations to ACT based on our experience

> & what seems to work for us. And I agree with Arie that we may not

> all define " suffering " in the exact same way, which may be causing

> some confusion among us.

>

> ACT defines suffering as pain + negative evaluation. Except that

> sometimes we may feel our suffering is NOT something we evaluate - it

> just " is. "

>

> In other words it can't be unpacked - it is all one super-fast scary

> thing, like a train coming at us at high speed. There is no point in

> " accepting " a train that is about to run you over - the only sane

> thing to do is jump out of the way.

>

> So which view is right, ACT or the train? I go with the view that

> suffering can be unpacked, but at first this is difficult - we don't

> see the evaluation piece. This is one reason ACT can be so confusing.

> And as has pointed out, if we get a glimpse of the original pain

> beneath the suffering, that too can be scary in the beginning - so

> scary we are tempted to draw back into what is more familiar, our

> suffering.

>

> For anyone interested in train-spotting, I've written a short piece

> on all this -

>

> http://raburgess.com/wholesight/2008/04/01/the-difference-between-

> suffering-and-pain-and-what-to-do-about-it/

>

[Guest guest]

-- In ACT_for_the_Public , wrote:

> SHAME that I'm 31 and still going through this.

Hey, I'm 50 going on 51 and still going through this!

> She charges $150 per hour. I don't see how I can pay that.

I had the same issue last time I saw a therapist (2 years ago). What

I did was arrange to see him every other week rather than every week.

It could even be every 3 weeks. In theory it slows things down, but

in practice I found this not to be a problem.

[Guest guest]

Hi Randy,

For me, there's just something so funny (pathetic) about a grown up

lady who is terrified of a tunnel...

Good news on the shrink front. I found a therapist who I really like

who has a sliding scale which slides down to $60. I can do that.

I also still have an appt. with a psychiatrist, which I'm keeping,

even though I'm not feeling very warm to meds anymore. Maybe she'll

chase me out of her office screaming, 'how dare you waste my tiiime!'

Have a great day--Colette

>

> > SHAME that I'm 31 and still going through this.

>

> Hey, I'm 50 going on 51 and still going through this!

>

> > She charges $150 per hour. I don't see how I can pay that.

>

> I had the same issue last time I saw a therapist (2 years ago). What

> I did was arrange to see him every other week rather than every week.

> It could even be every 3 weeks. In theory it slows things down, but

> in practice I found this not to be a problem.

>