mindfulmailer Re: Help please with unreality feelings

[Guest guest]

Oooh that's a lot different that what i thought you were going

through - but it does relate to anxiety so not too different in terms

of " function "

dont' think you have to " reason " with the thjoughts of unreality -

that's your mind saying that you have to " understand " it - your

mind wants to keep you focused on your symptoms as if they were

really really important

if you let the thoughts of unreality just be & not struggle with them

you may find they & the anxiety are just your minds way of trying to

keep you safe from some pain - the pain may be SO far away you're not

even usually aware you ahve any of it - that's how good minds are at

avoidance!!! you think everything is cool its just this annoying

unreality stuff that's the problem

and have you done the values stuff yet? because that will drive

absolutely everything else

sorry don't know myself of any ACT guys in the UK but i know they do

exist, in fact i think there's a pretty big following there did

you check out www.contextualpsychology.org & use the find-a-therpaist

directory??? pretty sparse but maybe there's a name or two on it near

you

stick with it - it takes a while - & post more here & sopmebody

smarter than me may come up with some good feedback too, sometimes

dr. hayes posts here.

> >

> > > my stumbling block is the horrible feeling of unreality

> > > I feel when in a (for me) trapped situation eg having

> > > coffee with friends (a rarity nowadays)

> > > how can I think about this please to accept it more readily?

> >

> > i'm gonna guess that when you say " horrible feeling of unreality "

> you

> > mean you feel real uncomfortable - like youre pretending to enjoy

> the

> > moment but arent, being phony somehow, etc . really doesnt matter

> > exactly what - the point is inside youre wriggling like a worm on

a

> > hook trying to get off

> >

> > but what you say next is the key! " how can i think about this to

> > accept it more readily? "

> >

> > what i hear in this is a plea for a magic way to get rid of the

> > discomfort -to " accept it more readily " is code for " make me

> somehow

> > not have so much unahppinehs here, so many thouhts about how i'm

a

> > phoney " or whatever it is thats itching at you

> >

> > but ACT says that the more you want not to be uncomfortable, the

> more

> > uncomfortable you get. you get what you don't want! isn'tt that a

> > kick!

> >

> > but how about this could you keep that discomfort & still be

> with

> > your friends? i mean having coffee w/your friends seems to matter

a

> > lot for you - you say it's a rare event these days & by that i

take

> > it you would like it to hap[pen more often. maybe your blaming

your

> > discomfort for it not happening more often??? or your balming

these

> > uncomfomrtable thoughts? or you're blaming " you " ?

> >

> > hey have you got the workbook yet? check it out if you havent.

all

> > the above ideas are in there. it says it better than i can. do

the

> > holding-your-breath exercise .. it'll blow your mind

> >

> > dont read the workbook ... DO THE WORKBOOK

> >

>