Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 OK, let me see if I finally understand. It is OK for me to feel angry and hateful and upset, even though those feelings are supposed to be " BAD " . I don't have to feel guilty for having those feelings and I don't have worry about having them, and I can still move forward with my life. When I was tapering off of my Med's I was always telling myself as soon as I was done I would need to go back into therapy to learn how to not let these things bother me, And how to get rid of all the thoughts and feelings I was having. So just by thinking this I set myself up, and by going to therapy to get rid of this crap I just made it more important, and probably worse. Society tells us that anger, hate, rage are all bad and we shouldn't have those feelings. What is wrong with having those feelings as long as there is no violence involved? Am I making sense? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 The point is to have those feelings and any others without buying into them necessarily. What you DO with feelings is a matter of values not just programming However, if you do the same with thoughts you will find that many feelings are the product of fused thought. Anger, for example, is oftem accompanied by "I'm right" or "that was wrong." Defusion does not mean "that wasn't wrong -- it was right" -- it means just noticing the evaluative thoughts and coming back to values and action. This work thus does tend to move feelings. A lot. Anger, anxiety, depression etc all tend to go down. Acceptance does not mean buying into these feelings. it means feeing them AS feelings ... and thinking thoughts AS thoughts mindfully Then behaving in accord with what you value - S C. Foundation Professor Department of Psychology /298 University of Nevada Reno, NV 89557-0062 Office: x2005 (don’t leave messages there … I mostly work from home, esp. now that I have a new baby. Email me instead.) Email: hayes@... Context Press (you can use this for messages as well): Fax: Home: Home fax: Use the Context Press line. It will automatically detect incoming faxes. Cell (please use sparingly): Relevant websites: www.contextualpsychology.org (this one will soon subsume the ACT and RFT websites below; if you want my vita, or publications from me, or PowerPoint slides, etc etc please carefully check out this site first. Go to my blog and to the publications list etc. Given the flow of emails, I need all the help I can get. Thanks in advance.) www.acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy.com www.relationalframetheory.com www.contextpress.com www.unr.edu/psych then click on faculty pages From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of gregpeerySent: Tuesday, January 17, 2006 11:33 AMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Feelings OK, let me see if I finally understand. It is OK for me to feel angry and hateful and upset, even though those feelings are supposed to be "BAD". I don't have to feel guilty for having those feelings and I don't have worry about having them, and I can still move forward with my life.When I was tapering off of my Med's I was always telling myself as soon as I was done I would need to go back into therapy to learn how to not let these things bother me, And how to get rid of all the thoughts and feelings I was having. So just by thinking this I set myself up, and by going to therapy to get rid of this crap I just made it more important, and probably worse. Society tells us that anger, hate, rage are all bad and we shouldn't have those feelings. What is wrong with having those feelings as long as there is no violence involved?Am I making sense?Any thoughts would be appreciated.Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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