Guest guest Posted March 21, 2006 Report Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hi: I can totally relate to the feelings of being overwhelmed. That's one of my stories and one of the many passengers on my particular bus. I have had the great fortune to work with an ACT therapist for the past 2 1/2 years. For me the ACT process has taken a long time to absorb and make it part of myself. One thing that helps me to live a vital life is to chose one action that is in line with my values. For example, I value maintaining close relationships with my family. So, I might choose to make one phone call to my brother just to say "hi". This small action in line with what I want to be about helps me to know that these feelings of being overwhelmed are temporary and the life I choose is what's important. Another thing I do is allow myself to feel overwhelmed. When I try to convince myself that I could do "better", it usually backfires. Have patience with this process. For me, I spent 43 years acting and reacting based upon my history and patterns. When I get stuck, I remind myself that I've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years. - for you...it's only been a month. Lalexknowles090 wrote: I've been working through the book for about a month, and I must say,I generally feel better. I regularly do the exercises, particularlymeditation and the mind-train exercises.However, sometimes it just all gets too much. Like now - I feel solonely. I've tried some of the exercises in the book with regard tothis and it doesn't seem to be helping much. I know I shouldnt be struggling with this and I'm trying not to. Mymind says I'm lonely and that's fine, I know it's a thought, one ofthousands i have every day, but it appears to be a constant thought.If I were to visualize it wouldnt be just one thought, it would be amillion identical ones. They can be there if they want to be, butthey're stopping me living my life - I have stacks of work to do andall i want to do is sit here and wallow.How do other group members cope at times like these? Is it just a caseof gritting my teeth and seeing it through to the end? Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2006 Report Share Posted March 21, 2006 , I wonder if it really is ok for those thoughts to be there. Is that what you truely believe or is just another word game your mind is playing with you? You say " BUT, they are stopping me " . How can your thoughts be stopping you? Have they tied you to the chair? If they have you bound and gagged maybe you should call the police and have them arrested. Maybe you could take a picture of the thoughts that are doing this to you and post them here so we can all see them. Unless of course the thoughts are only thoughts and they don't really exist and have no real power over you. So the question is, Who is driving your bus? Greg > > I've been working through the book for about a month, and I must say, > I generally feel better. I regularly do the exercises, particularly > meditation and the mind-train exercises. > > However, sometimes it just all gets too much. Like now - I feel so > lonely. I've tried some of the exercises in the book with regard to > this and it doesn't seem to be helping much. > > I know I shouldnt be struggling with this and I'm trying not to. My > mind says I'm lonely and that's fine, I know it's a thought, one of > thousands i have every day, but it appears to be a constant thought. > If I were to visualize it wouldnt be just one thought, it would be a > million identical ones. They can be there if they want to be, but > they're stopping me living my life - I have stacks of work to do and > all i want to do is sit here and wallow. > > How do other group members cope at times like these? Is it just a case > of gritting my teeth and seeing it through to the end? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2006 Report Share Posted March 21, 2006 When I feel this way, I find it helpful to step back and give myself a little break. In other words, I remember that I have a lifetime of reacting in a certain way -- and that it's only been very recently (for me a few weeks) when I've tried do react in a different way. So I try to be patient with myself. It takes time -- it's going to take time -- but that's fine. You are embarking on something that is wonderful and exciting but also somewhat counterintuitive and tricky with lots of surprising pitfalls and inevitable setbacks (well, probalby inevitable). That's a good thing to remember especially when things get difficult. You can't get it all done in one day. But you're on your way. It will almost certainly take time (and your mind will probably try to rush you along but that's what minds tend to do -- don't let it get to you). It's fine if you relax a little, you can even screw up a little. Enjoy the screw-ups as well as the breakthroughs. It's all part of the journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2006 Report Share Posted March 21, 2006 <<...They can be there if they want to be, but they're stopping me living my life - I have stacks of work to do and all i want to do is sit here and wallow.>> I'm not a big fan of the gritting my teeth approach ... I've been doing it for decades and it hasn't gotten me very far. What strickes me about your sentance above is this sense of your thoughts stopping you from " life " ... but really it seems to say it is stopping you from the " stacks of work " that has piled up. Goodness, who WOULD want to " feel better " so that they can get to the " stacks of work. " Makes wallowing sound OK. If they could come up with a pill that would make the sink full of dirty dishes seem appealing it would outsell Viagra! Finding the " value " in what it is you are doing or finding out what you want to do, seems to be key in the ACT philosophy. For me, I had a meeting this afternoon and my body was a total mess, my eyes were tear filled and my hands were shaking. My normal reaction would have been to retreat and reschedule. But I really thought about what said about realizing my role and contribution at the meeting (and indeed being willing to just hold that part of me that was tear filled.) So I answered YES to the life question (p.133-134) and I told the people I was meeting with that my body was making some adjustments and that if I seemed shaky or tearful that it wasn't because of the content of our conversation! -- and I smiled as I made that joke even with big tear filled eyes. And it was fine. The meeting was fine. And I had an opportunity to feel what it feels like to jump off of a sheet of paper (or maybe even a notebook) and say YES, I am willing. Take a look at what is there for you that you value. And let us know how it goes. EM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2006 Report Share Posted March 22, 2006 > > I'm feeling 'stuck in one place' with the whole ACT thing right now > as well as my 'stacks of work'. I'm having difficulty with something as > simple as my pain diary at the moment. The first day I was very vigilant > and wrote down something there was so much as a mental cringe moment. But > now, its as though I'm back in the fog and I can't distinguish what > psychological pain is versus my constant state. > > Any thoughts? Oblivia, If you are stuck on the pain diary thing, then just thank your mind for that, and move on with the book. You can always go back and do it later. As far as I know there are no hard and fast rules. I personally did not do any of the exercises the first time through the book. When I finished it, I went back through, I was in a much better place then to do the work. Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 Have patience with this process. For me, I spent 43 years acting and reacting based upon my history and patterns. When I get stuck, I remind myself that I've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years. - for you...it's only been a month. And within this statement lies much wisdom =o] I am frequently down on myself for buying and reacting to age-old horrid thoughts. It's funny; with awareness and insight provided by ACT comes opportunity for your Mind to throw more junk upon you when you fail to observe passively! In the last couple of weeks I've realised a large part of my feeling down comes from the fact that I buy thoughts from my Mind berating me for not being in control of my thoughts! How cunning is that? Once you become aware of the futility of control, your Mind turns it against you - how very helpful ^^ I spent 10 years digging a v-e-r-y deep hole from the bottom of which I now look up. It's funny that my Mind wants to alternate yet more desperate digging with smacking myself in the face with the shovel.Pete Hi: I can totally relate to the feelings of being overwhelmed. That's one of my stories and one of the many passengers on my particular bus. I have had the great fortune to work with an ACT therapist for the past 2 1/2 years. For me the ACT process has taken a long time to absorb and make it part of myself. One thing that helps me to live a vital life is to chose one action that is in line with my values. For example, I value maintaining close relationships with my family. So, I might choose to make one phone call to my brother just to say " hi " . This small action in line with what I want to be about helps me to know that these feelings of being overwhelmed are temporary and the life I choose is what's important. Another thing I do is allow myself to feel overwhelmed. When I try to convince myself that I could do " better " , it usually backfires. Have patience with this process. For me, I spent 43 years acting and reacting based upon my history and patterns. When I get stuck, I remind myself that I've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years. - for you...it's only been a month. Lalexknowles090 <alexknowles090@... > wrote: I've been working through the book for about a month, and I must say, I generally feel better. I regularly do the exercises, particularlymeditation and the mind-train exercises.However, sometimes it just all gets too much. Like now - I feel solonely. I've tried some of the exercises in the book with regard to this and it doesn't seem to be helping much. I know I shouldnt be struggling with this and I'm trying not to. Mymind says I'm lonely and that's fine, I know it's a thought, one ofthousands i have every day, but it appears to be a constant thought.If I were to visualize it wouldnt be just one thought, it would be amillion identical ones. They can be there if they want to be, but they're stopping me living my life - I have stacks of work to do andall i want to do is sit here and wallow.How do other group members cope at times like these? Is it just a caseof gritting my teeth and seeing it through to the end? Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 <<... I spent 10 years digging a v-e-r-y deep hole from the bottom of which I now look up. It's funny that my Mind wants to alternate yet more desperate digging with smacking myself in the face with the shovel...>> pssst ... want to know another mind trick? that you are in a v-e-r-y deep hole. that deception makes us believe a whole slew of things about our situation. another rabbit in the hole next to you, EM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 In the last couple of weeks I've realised a large part of my feeling down comes from the fact that I buy thoughts from my Mind berating me for not being in control of my thoughts! How cunning is that? Once you become aware of the futility of control, your Mind turns it against you - how very helpful ^^ So if I understand you correctly, your mind confuses ACT with control? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 I think that the mind sees the processes of ACT as a serious shift in how things have been done in the past. It feels threatened so will push as many buttons as possible. It's happened to me over and over again. It is a definite shift perceiving the mind as a tool and not " me " . --- oblivia wrote: > > In the last couple of weeks I've realised a large > part of my feeling down > > comes from the fact that I buy thoughts from my > Mind berating me for not > > being in control of my thoughts! How cunning is > that? Once you become > > aware of the futility of control, your Mind turns > it against you - how very > > helpful ^^ > > > So if I understand you correctly, your mind confuses > ACT with control? > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 That sort of judgement is a comparative evaluation. Your mind is saying you are at a place worse than the place it thinks you should be. I could tell myself I'm 'in a hole' for having failed out of the first college I attended or I could tell myself I'm on top of a mountain for not being a heroin addict on the street, being lucky enough to be in a situation where I have people who care about me, being lucky enough to not suffer from famine or disease, etc. I think it's better to see oneself as at the place you are at. - Emma > > > > <<... I spent 10 years digging a v-e-r-y deep hole from the bottom of > > which I now look up. It's funny that my Mind wants to alternate yet more > > desperate digging with smacking myself in the face with the shovel...>> > > > > pssst ... want to know another mind trick? that you are in a v- e-r-y deep > > hole. that deception makes us believe a whole slew of things about our > > situation. > > > > another rabbit in the hole next to you, > > EM > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 There is definitely a possibility of trying to use Control to stop Control, which would be an endless spiral. All of this verbalizing can lead to that. When it gets like that, I say, “Breathing in, I know I am breathing in. Breathing out, I smile.” From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of Kingswell Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:17 AM To: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Re: feeling overwhelmed Ummm not really. It's more that once your Mind is fed information that control is the problem, it throws crap at you when you can't relinquish control! Makes me want to have a lobotomy half the time... On 23/03/06, oblivia wrote: In the last couple of weeks I've realised a large part of my feeling down comes from the fact that I buy thoughts from my Mind berating me for not being in control of my thoughts! How cunning is that? Once you become aware of the futility of control, your Mind turns it against you - how very helpful ^^ So if I understand you correctly, your mind confuses ACT with control? YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group " ACT_for_the_Public " on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 Need for Meds, another shovel? Chronic Anxiety, Pick axe? The need to provide evidence that we are in a hole, Steam shovel? Stepping outside of all these thoughts and seeing them for what they are, Priceless. > > > > <<... I spent 10 years digging a v-e-r-y deep hole from the bottom of > > which I now look up. It's funny that my Mind wants to alternate yet more > > desperate digging with smacking myself in the face with the shovel...>> > > > > pssst ... want to know another mind trick? that you are in a v-e- r-y deep > > hole. that deception makes us believe a whole slew of things about our > > situation. > > > > another rabbit in the hole next to you, > > EM > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 << Need for Meds, another shovel? Chronic Anxiety, Pick axe? The need to provide evidence that we are in a hole, Steam shovel? Stepping outside of all these thoughts and seeing them for what they are, Priceless.>> Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know that I am laughing out loud. No judgement here on being in or out of a hole ... but when our mind says it's VERY deep because we've been in it for so long and we've had so much XYZ, it can be yet another set up that it will take a really long time to crawl out. Or that crawling up will be hard. Or that we have to try to crawl out. Which I admit, all seem true to me this morning. I've taken the shovel, pick axe and steam shovel approach all day thus far. But I'm willing to laugh right now without making any of this MEAN anything. Deep thanks for the priceless smile. EM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 > > I've been working through the book for about a month, and I must say, > I generally feel better. I regularly do the exercises, particularly > meditation and the mind-train exercises. > > However, sometimes it just all gets too much. Like now - I feel so > lonely. I've tried some of the exercises in the book with regard to > this and it doesn't seem to be helping much. > > ... thanks to everyone who replied. There are some very smart people on this list. Sadly I'm still struggling, or at least that what my mind's telling me, but unlike before I'm a little more optimistic now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 thanks to everyone who replied. There are some very smart people on this list. Sadly I'm still struggling, or at least that what my mind's telling me, but unlike before I'm a little more optimistic now.>> Thank YOU for sharing your journey with us. For me there is a lot of truth in what you wrote above. We ARE a group of very smart people ... and it hasn't helped us much with this struggle we find ourselves in. My conditioned mind has been telling me all week that I'm not 'getting better', 'this isn't working', 'I'll be the only one doing the workbook on this board who fails and never gets back in to life.' The mind is SO convincing, I was certainly buying the thoughts for much of the time. And then I read your post this morning and it was like a little signpost that reminded me I can thank my mind (because I AM one of the smart people ;-) and know that I don't have to believe any of this. Deep thanks. EM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Gyalwa Götsangpa’s Seven Delights. Namo Ratna Guru! . When thoughts that there is something, perceived and a perceiver, Lure my mind away and distract, I don't close my senses' gateways to meditate without them But plunge straight into their essential point. They're like clouds in the sky; there's this shimmer where they fly. Thoughts that rise, for me sheer delight! . When kleshas get me going, and their heat has got me burning, I try no antidote to set them right. Like an alchemistic potion turning metal into gold, What lies in klesha's power to bestow Is bliss without contagion, completely undefiled. Kleshas coming up , sheer delight! . When I'm plagued by god-like forces or demonic interference, I do not drive them out with rites and spells. The thing to chase away is egoistic thinking, Built up on the idea of a self. This will turn the ranks of maras into your own special forces. When obstacles arise, sheer delight! . When samsara with its anguish has me writhing in its torments, Instead of wallowing in misery, I take the greater burden down the greater path to travel And let compassion set me up To take upon myself the sufferings of others. When karmic consequences bloom , delight! . When my body has succumbed to the attacks of painful illness, I do not count on medical relief, But take that very illness as a path and by its power Remove the obscurations blocking me, And use it to encourage the qualities worthwhile. When illness rears its head , sheer delight! . When it’s time to leave this body, this illusionary tangle, Don’t cause yourself anxiety and grief. The thing that you should train in and clear up for yourself is There’s no such thing as dying to be done. It’s just clear light, the mother, and child clear light uniting, When mind forsakes the body, sheer delight! . When the whole thing's just not working, everything's lined up against you, Don't try to find some way to change it all. Here the point to make in your practice is reverse the way you see it. Don't try to make it stop or to improve. Adverse conditions happen ; when they do it's so delightful. They make a little song of sheer delight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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