a value experienced!

[Guest guest]

And yet another thing that I wished to share with you all. Tonight I

had an incident happen with my x partner. After the incident I

noticed how my mind did a massive case of analyse, analyse, analyse.

It was incredible!! I noticed how much of a habit it has been for

me that when something turmoltuous happens it has been a habit for

me to figure it all out RIGHT NOW!

What's so interesting for me is that I just stood back after 5

minutes and recognised this habit, as simply that, a habit. I took

myself off to my room and sat with the thoughts and all the

sensations that came up. I watched it all come go, come go, I am

watching it still right now. And then lo and behold, out of nowhere

I had a clear thought of 'Bel you are expeiencing pain because you

really value listening deeply to someone and you endeavoured to do

this and you did not receive this back'. In Pain, is value, my

experience just showed me first hand, without having to analyse it

and work out'what is my value', that I value deep listening. If I

had pushed hard for this insight I would spin out, but through the

experience of 'being cut off and not listened to' and experiencing

pain and then practicing mindfulness when my mind tried to get away

from the pain and the thoughts, I was able to see much more clearly.

The pain is still there, the thoughts are still there and I chose to

value deep listening with my x by trying to validate his feelings

and asking him to explain to me how he felt but now, equally, I will

also say to him that I would like to talk to you when you can

attempt to give me equal time and validation in communication. That

to me is in line with my value, it is in line with action. Going

against that value in an area where I most need it

practiced 'romantic relationships', does not do my value any service.

What an interesting few days and I hope noone minds me sharing what

I am experiencing at the moment, it really helps me to know I can

share it with people who can get the gist of what I am endeavouring

to do.

night night from australia

Bel