AS intervention? (of sorts)

[Guest guest]

Greetings-

First, thanks again for all of these wonderful threads...I learn constantly from AS and NT's alike here. I process a lot of the data and apply it to my life, and it has helped me cope and be a better person. As I have written in past threads, I am at a true stalemate in my marriage and I fear the final straw is coming. It would be a tragedy, since we have 2 very young daughters, but for both them and me, it may be our only answer if my husband is not willing to work, and in fact, continues to alienate and hurt all of us. I can live with it myself, but honestly, it is now taking a toll on our young girls and that kills me.

It is true that AS is only one part of our problems, but it is a big part, so I was hoping by perhaps addressing that, we could be on the road to recovery.

I wondered about the possibility of a gentle intervention: i.e. either introducing him to another NT-AS couple (Bill? You live in the area! ( so he can perhaps meet another like soul and see how they work. My husband does okay in couple-couple social situations on occasion, and if it is subtle, maybe it would inspire him. I do not think he has ever met another AS, so it may be comforting for him. I do think he is a bit depressed by it all, which could be another reason why things are so hard.

If that isn't possible (oh Bill, please? (, another 'intervention' type approach with family or friends who are supportive. It wouldn't be an in-your-face intervention, but a gentle way to say, 'hey, it is possible to work together'.

I know. It is a crazy idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

The 'legal separation' thread had horrific results, so I am trying another tactic in my silent scream for help.

Any input as to this approach, or suggestions for other approaches (, my husband seems most like you, so alas, you may be my go-to guy on this one!), is most appreciated.

Thanks and kind regards-

Heidi