Cheer Up things will get better,

[Guest guest]

Maggie.........I am so sorry that you are feeling down......the holidays can really take alot out of us and make us feel more miserable than we already did......please never think that your family would be better off without you.....I fully believe that we were chosen to deal with this disease because we are strong enough to handle it.....the same with people who have cancer and HIV and all those other diseases out there........I know it gets frustrating and sometimes I get so tired of waking up and doing breathing treatments and coughing and hurting and feeling tired all of the time......but somedays I wake up and am so thankful that I have the strength to do all of these things......I hope you feel better and try to keep your head up even though I know at times it seems so hard......just remember we are here for you and we all care about you.......you can vent to us anytime you need to.............. Sondra

[Guest guest]

---at least that was what my Mom always told me.

Maggie

This past year has been a drag for me also. 4 or 5 times on IVs in the past 14 months. (I have lost count.) The last time I asked the Doc if we could continue it on for 3 weeks and we did. (Ceftazidinme and Tobramycin) The last sequence was in August and the after my body recovered from the assault with the antibiotics I had two months where I felt like I was 20 years younger..

Projects that I had given up on were done or restarted. I could get a good nights sleep and wake up rested. (Also started oxygen at night and I am sure that helps..) While I have regrown a new batch of pseudomonas and no doubt will have to have drug intervention someday I am still remembering last September and October.

Mentally the bugs are a real drain. I have been working a bit on introducing more humor in my life. A good laugh help bring up the phlegm! (;-)

Happy New Year to every one on the list!

Wally age 57 Oregon Kartagners Syndrome = sinusitis and Bronchiectasis Oregon

Oh I forgot they were having a hard time putting in the IV lines and they installed a port cathaer of the Groshong variety that does not require a heprin lock flush. Have to have it saline flushed every month but its simple when needed to get me started on IVs and out the door so I can have the meds delivered and taken at home.. Nothing like it was 25 years ago with 2 week hospital stays..

---------------------------------------Maggie wrote-------------------------------

Listen to this, guys. Tomorrow I get another central line after I just had the last one removed day after Christmas. I guess the bug was just hiding deep in the pit of my lungs. Anyway, I had a good cry and now I feel better. I'll be doing IV therapy for another 2 weeks. Please pray that this round finally kills it. Sometimes I just want to give up and die. My family would get used to my being gone. And then everyone would be better off – no more worrying, no more outrageous medical bills, no more headaches. I feel ashamed that I am so sick. I should not be this sick. I must have done something wrong. Guess I should stay on the Zoloft, huh?

I need more strength to deal with this disease. I can't take it anymore! Sorry about this – maybe next post will be cheerier. Norma and Becki let me know how you're doing. I'm down in the dumps but still praying for you. Hope it's working.

Happy New Year, by the way, Maggie