Withdrawing: was ...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

[Guest guest]

Marjory, I am sorry that you lost a job you wanted to keep. Remember that you are an excellent employee! I am sure that you try really hard, and are completely loyal- these are common AS characteristics, according to my reading. I am glad that you can email. I have been tempted to withdraw this way more than once, but have never really done it. Here are things that helped me to feel beter: (1) Praying (2) Remember people who really are my friends, and connecting with a few of them to talk. (3) Deciding that it is OK not to share at work, but that it is OK to share a few things with people at church. I would like to share more in that arena, and , you have given me great encouragement. (4) reminding myself of the things I do well. (5) Dwelling on the facts. Acknowledging that I

feel overwhelmed by what happened, but that there are things I can do where it will not really matter. (6) People I know state that if I am not great socially, there are situations in which this will not matter, and I cannot get bent out of shape by people's thinking ill of me. In fact, I still struggle with this, but thought I would post it, so that we can encourage each other. (7) Resolve not to disclose at work, unless you can be assured beforehand that it is safe. there are situations where it is OK, and there are those where it is not. Since you cannot read these things well- and neither can I- read up on where disclosure will be accepted, and how to disclose part of it. I read, "Coming Out ASpergers", and found it quite helpful. There is an article in there by jane Meyerding, whom I know from other lists, that I found good to read, and there are other articles that apply as well. (8)

Remember that you will fail, and that if you can learn just a little bit from each failure, then you can acquire just a little mor theory of mind that you did not have yesterday. Every little bit helps! (9) When it hurts really badly, get on line, and vent! Ask us for comfort! We will try to email you our arms for a gigantic cyber hug, and our computers will complain, but it will comfort you anyway. I did likely get fired from one position I held just by coming out faceblind. One of my superiors believed that I might be AS, so perhaps it comes to the same thing. Many cyber hugs, , ASMarjory Maley wrote: , I am so glad to hear that this went well for you. I was working as an "Education Minister" and some of the people expressed that they thought there was something "Different" about me. I was not openly social and I did not like people to close in my space.I shared with the other minister working with me that I had Asperger's. He asked a few questions and then stated that the few people that were questioning these things may not want me to represent them any more and with in three days I was fired with out a reason . I did try to fight this but the labor laws stated that there were to few employees

to make an "official" case against them. I have gone into my "space" and want very little outside of it . I have been working on my skills and there are some that think I am doing very well but I do not trust "people" I can not read them and I can not process conversations . This has been a huge set back for me. There are people in my life that just do not understand this withdrawal into my "space" and I do not know how to find words to fit ..that is if I could say the words out loud...I accept that I have Asperger's. If anyone who has ever experienced this kind of withdrawal help me to see why or how I can get out?? Thank you for listening.. Marjory -----

.

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.