Re: Sex life. brief afterthought= very sad afterthought

[Guest guest]

This is very sad. Another pointed look at how the quality of life for

many with AS, miss out on the best things of life and being alive.

I'm sure those with AS would think that I am missing out on the best

of life and being alive because I don't share in their intense

interest. (however, emotionally connected sex isn't quite an intense

interest as much as it is a desired one)

I believe if more AS males understood that emotionally connected sex

is near a 1,000,000 fold better feeling than what they are doing now,

they would strive for it and most likely- PERFECT IT! Though, sadly as

Ron pointed out: it's just a mechanical need, like taking a dump.

very sad.

>

>

>

> Hello Anita,

>

> Sorry, but I just recalled the very item that had first occurred to

me, when

> I considered

>

> your Post.

>

>

>

> This is the very common characteristic of Aspies which is the

tendency to

> compartmentalise

>

> the various activities and issues in daily life. We often

literally switch

> one thing off in a trice

>

> and move our whole attention over to another thing. It appears to be a

> process or habit that

>

> we learn to do in an early age. It is probably closely connected

with the

> intense concentration

>

> that we apply to the individual things we face day by day. Out of

sight is

> out of mind. We

>

> automatically lose contact with the people or objects or events that

were

> uppermost just

>

> briefly before. Probably it is much too hard for us to retain one

thing in

> our minds when we

>

> are concentrating on something new. Sex like everything else then, can

> just switch on and

>

> off in a rather perfunctory fashion, which can be sad or devastating

to a

> potentially loving

>

> partner. Sexuality does not represent then a natural outpouring of the

> self, but rather one

>

> rather odd and isolated need and activity.

>

>

>

> So sex can all too easily be something we think of in of and by

itself, as

> it is difficult for us

>

> all too often to associate it with all the issues involved in

relationship,

> a partner's emotions

>

> and etc. I presume that many of us, all the same, do make a big

effort to

> relate our sex

>

> activity and thinking to a bigger picture; and do what we can to

look after

> our partner's needs

>

> in the process. We need to write such a mind-set into our script as it

> were, and add

>

> thoughtful actions and care to our list of priorities. They may become

> matters of

>

> deliberate care and concern rather than natural and automatic sorts of

> outpourings. We can

>

> learn, for sure, but it all literally has to be added to our

repertoire of

> human interaction.

>

>

>

> Ron.

>

[Guest guest]

I have given myself permission not to be involved in a romantic

relationship for the next two years. I figure that will give me

plenty of time to sort things out, in addition to biding time at work.

> >

> >

> >

> > Hello Anita,

> >

> > Sorry, but I just recalled the very item that had first occurred

to

> me, when

> > I considered

> >

> > your Post.

> >

> >

> >

> > This is the very common characteristic of Aspies which is the

> tendency to

> > compartmentalise

> >

> > the various activities and issues in daily life. We often

> literally switch

> > one thing off in a trice

> >

> > and move our whole attention over to another thing. It appears

to be a

> > process or habit that

> >

> > we learn to do in an early age. It is probably closely connected

> with the

> > intense concentration

> >

> > that we apply to the individual things we face day by day. Out of

> sight is

> > out of mind. We

> >

> > automatically lose contact with the people or objects or events

that

> were

> > uppermost just

> >

> > briefly before. Probably it is much too hard for us to retain

one

> thing in

> > our minds when we

> >

> > are concentrating on something new. Sex like everything else

then, can

> > just switch on and

> >

> > off in a rather perfunctory fashion, which can be sad or

devastating

> to a

> > potentially loving

> >

> > partner. Sexuality does not represent then a natural outpouring

of the

> > self, but rather one

> >

> > rather odd and isolated need and activity.

> >

> >

> >

> > So sex can all too easily be something we think of in of and by

> itself, as

> > it is difficult for us

> >

> > all too often to associate it with all the issues involved in

> relationship,

> > a partner's emotions

> >

> > and etc. I presume that many of us, all the same, do make a big

> effort to

> > relate our sex

> >

> > activity and thinking to a bigger picture; and do what we can to

> look after

> > our partner's needs

> >

> > in the process. We need to write such a mind-set into our script

as it

> > were, and add

> >

> > thoughtful actions and care to our list of priorities. They may

become

> > matters of

> >

> > deliberate care and concern rather than natural and automatic

sorts of

> > outpourings. We can

> >

> > learn, for sure, but it all literally has to be added to our

> repertoire of

> > human interaction.

> >

> >

> >

> > Ron.

> >

>