Guest guest Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Oops! Shyam! My mail was supposed to be taken lightly. All the things that I have mentioned are really true. However, there are good things in India too! Please take a balanced decision and do not disappoint your mother. Kishore Shah 1974 Shyam in Wonderland > > > (Okay VK! In response to your invitation here I am > welcoming Shyam to the land of his dreams.) > > SHYAM IN WONDERLAND > > Welcome, Shyam, to this wonderful land called India. But step carefully > from > the plane. Sometimes the steps are not aligned properly and you can get > a > nasty jolt. What did you say? You thought that India had progressed? Of > course it has. Previously you used to get a jolt when you stepped down > from > the bullock cart, now it happens off the plane. > > Ah! I can see that you are breathing deeply of your native land's air, > but > my advice would be to wait a bit longer. The corner toilet is broken > down > and the peculiar tang that you can smell is that of Ammonia. > > You came to India because you worship God? Good! Now you are going to > meet > people who believe more strongly than you. These are the Airport > officials. > They are worshippers of the Goddess Laxmi and I hope you won't mind a > small > donation. After all it is for Laxmi. > > No Shyam, drop that. I can understand your love for the soil of your > native > country. However, the soil that you are holding is 'night' soil. It is > more > plentiful than the regular variety, especially around Government > buildings. > Maybe, it symbolizes what the people think of our country's Government. > > Come, Shyam, I shall take you to Pune where you want to settle down. > Please > note that I did not say settle down for 'good', because good is one > thing > that even God cannot guarantee here. > > Did you notice the huge tracts of dug up roads and diversions on the > way? > Well those are the symbols of India's progress and prosperity. You must > be > wondering how India can prosper with dug up roads. It's fairly simple. > Digging up to lay electric cables keeps hundreds employed. Then tarring > up > keeps another hundreds on the job. We like to pass the credit for > keeping > India's standard up. So we give a chance to the water works department > to > dig up the same stretch next. Just when you think what will happen to > the > unemployed workers after the tarring up, you will see the sewerage > department getting the bright idea of replacing old pipes under the > same > stretch. By the time this finishes, the electric department is raring > to do > its bit to decrease the unemployment level of India again. So you see, > Shyam, no one remains unemployed for long. Besides, these bumps provide > a > side business for shock absorber mechanics, Orthopaedics and sometimes > even > undertakers. So you see, everyone benefits. These smooth stretches of > roads > that you see in between are the speed breakers or bumps. > > At last we arrive at the land of your dreams, Pune. Those boards are > all > proclaiming that Pune is the IT capital of India. Why do they need > those > boards? Well, it is because the Government departments here still have > not > come to know about this revolution. So all the records are still hand > written and take at least 15 visits to complete. The worship of Goddess > Laxmi is also there, because we are very religious. The boards are > meant so > that people will believe that Pune is IT connected even after visiting > these > offices. > > The larger boards that you see in the foreground are even more > important. > They wish the local strongman a happy birthday. His small photo is > followed > by all those large photos of his well wishers, i.e. all those who wish > that > he would fall in a well, so that they can assume his money, power and, > if > possible, his wife. Please pay close attention to all these important > boards. When you want to get anything done in Pune, you will have to > pay a > visit to him. Did you notice that I used the word 'PAY' a visit? > > Those fat men that you see around all corners are the local police. > They > catch criminals. Don't be puzzled by how such pot-bellied guys can > catch > criminals. I had not completed my sentence. The full sentence is 'They > catch > criminals' feet'. You see they are also worshippers of Laxmi. No! You > cannot > complain to their bosses, because the bosses are all in jail for > corruption > charges. > > Lets shop for your new hospital. I don't think that you should shop for > a > Frost-free refrigerator. You see, Pune is so advanced that this service > is > free to its citizens. We have 3 hours of load shedding i.e. no > electricity > for six days a week. That effectively makes all refrigerators > Frost-free for > FREE. You should not ask me why six days and not seven days a week. The > seventh day is meant for a whole day power cut for maintenance of > electricity cables. Remember the dug up roads of a few paragraphs > before? > Did I hear you say that Load shedding was a load of sh.. ? > > Now for the licences for your new hospital. Lets see, you will need a > no > objection from the building department, followed by the water dept, not > to > forget the fire brigade. There is naturally the pollution control > registration and the sonography registration. The pollution dept is > spread > over two offices, which are 7 kms. apart. Oh yes, I forgot to mention > the > family planning department and the drainage department. > > You see, all these trips to the departments are just what you wanted. > You > said that you wanted to visit the religious places, which are not there > in > Saudi, and these are all temples of Laxmi. It is a Teerath yatra of > sorts. > > Wait a minute, Shyam, the offices are this way not that. What did you > say? > You are going to book the next flight back to Riyadh? Well, hope you > come > back soon. Goodbye Shyam. > > Kishore Shah 1974 > > > > ------------------------------ > Website: www.mgims.org > ------------------------------ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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