special preschool

[Guest guest]

We just had a meeting with the special ed teachers for our local school district. DH prompted the meeting because we just found out that Caitlin is visually impaired, and he was wanting to get her "into the system" for mobility training and stuff before she gets any worse and seriously needs it. Sort of get the ball rolling. Anyway, the austism/asperger's came up as well, and the ST basically said I shouldn't be planning to homeschool an asperger's child, that she needs to be in public school to learn social skills.

Now, this is coming from the perspective of a mother who also has AS and spent a full career in the school system. I don't see why I need to subject my child to the torture of school-age peer groups. Torture. It was hell for me. I can get her socialization through other means (scouting, homeschool groups, volunteering, etc.) and get a psych/therapist to assist with teaching her "skills." But I don't see why she needs to go through humiliation, exclusion, conformity training, or any of the other wonderful (sarcasm?) things she would get in public school.

They offered for her to attend the special preschool up the street. They would work with her on potty training and social skills, she would get visual assistance if she qualifies (the VI teacher didn't show up for some reason), etc. Her triplet brother and sister would not be allowed to attend, so she would be on her own, and I don't know how well any of them would deal with that. I can see some advantages, and (supposedly) if we don't like how it's going we could pull her out. I think it would only be for this spring anyway, because next fall she'd be old enough for kindergarten.

DH is thinking that if she could be taught social skills now, she might not have social problems later. I don't agree with him. I think it would be more like teaching her to put on a good show, which is what I generally do. This works well in the short term and allows me to carry on phone conversations with customers, attend classes occasionally, etc. But it breaks down over the long run. I have never been able to work in an office well. I can't fit into the social system. The only job where I ever really "fit in" at all was at a bar, and *everybody* who worked there was dysfunctional!

Plus I'm concerned about this turning into future pressure not to homeschool her, which can be a big deal in a small town like this.

I guess I'm looking for insight from those of you who have been there. I'm not sure there even are other homeschoolers on this list; it seems like everybody is in school.

Elaynemommy to Brenden, Tamara, & Caitlin (10/12/1999 @ 26w2d) and Liam (10/15/2002 @ 40w4d)