Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hi Elayne, I have a 9 year old son that went to public school until half way through 1st grade and they were doing nothing to help him and at that time he wouldn't even speak to grown-ups so he wouldn't ask for help from the teacher so she thought he was just lazy. I got fed up and pulled him out to school through a Virtual Charter School. His dx is PDD-NOS and the last Dr. that I talked to said Aspergers. He had been in pre-school at 4 yrs. and in school every year up until I pulled him out. I take him everywhere to socialize and he still doesn't seem to get it. I even have him in an afterschool program where there are therapists that work with them on socialization. They also want me to put him back in public school. I think I am going to because he has come so far in the past couple of years and he really wants to go back. I can always take him back out later if it doesn't work out. From my experience, now I think he does need to be with the other children so that he can learn to deal with it. At one time I would have said no they are wrong but now that I have worked with him myself, I think he needs that life experience. I didn't think I would ever say this. Hope this helps, Sally in PA-USA special preschool We just had a meeting with the special ed teachers for our local school district. DH prompted the meeting because we just found out that Caitlin is visually impaired, and he was wanting to get her "into the system" for mobility training and stuff before she gets any worse and seriously needs it. Sort of get the ball rolling. Anyway, the austism/asperger's came up as well, and the ST basically said I shouldn't be planning to homeschool an asperger's child, that she needs to be in public school to learn social skills. Now, this is coming from the perspective of a mother who also has AS and spent a full career in the school system. I don't see why I need to subject my child to the torture of school-age peer groups. Torture. It was hell for me. I can get her socialization through other means (scouting, homeschool groups, volunteering, etc.) and get a psych/therapist to assist with teaching her "skills." But I don't see why she needs to go through humiliation, exclusion, conformity training, or any of the other wonderful (sarcasm?) things she would get in public school. They offered for her to attend the special preschool up the street. They would work with her on potty training and social skills, she would get visual assistance if she qualifies (the VI teacher didn't show up for some reason), etc. Her triplet brother and sister would not be allowed to attend, so she would be on her own, and I don't know how well any of them would deal with that. I can see some advantages, and (supposedly) if we don't like how it's going we could pull her out. I think it would only be for this spring anyway, because next fall she'd be old enough for kindergarten. DH is thinking that if she could be taught social skills now, she might not have social problems later. I don't agree with him. I think it would be more like teaching her to put on a good show, which is what I generally do. This works well in the short term and allows me to carry on phone conversations with customers, attend classes occasionally, etc. But it breaks down over the long run. I have never been able to work in an office well. I can't fit into the social system. The only job where I ever really "fit in" at all was at a bar, and *everybody* who worked there was dysfunctional! Plus I'm concerned about this turning into future pressure not to homeschool her, which can be a big deal in a small town like this. I guess I'm looking for insight from those of you who have been there. I'm not sure there even are other homeschoolers on this list; it seems like everybody is in school. Elaynemommy to Brenden, Tamara, & Caitlin (10/12/1999 @ 26w2d) and Liam (10/15/2002 @ 40w4d) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hi Elayne, I have a 9 year old son that went to public school until half way through 1st grade and they were doing nothing to help him and at that time he wouldn't even speak to grown-ups so he wouldn't ask for help from the teacher so she thought he was just lazy. I got fed up and pulled him out to school through a Virtual Charter School. His dx is PDD-NOS and the last Dr. that I talked to said Aspergers. He had been in pre-school at 4 yrs. and in school every year up until I pulled him out. I take him everywhere to socialize and he still doesn't seem to get it. I even have him in an afterschool program where there are therapists that work with them on socialization. They also want me to put him back in public school. I think I am going to because he has come so far in the past couple of years and he really wants to go back. I can always take him back out later if it doesn't work out. From my experience, now I think he does need to be with the other children so that he can learn to deal with it. At one time I would have said no they are wrong but now that I have worked with him myself, I think he needs that life experience. I didn't think I would ever say this. Hope this helps, Sally in PA-USA special preschool We just had a meeting with the special ed teachers for our local school district. DH prompted the meeting because we just found out that Caitlin is visually impaired, and he was wanting to get her "into the system" for mobility training and stuff before she gets any worse and seriously needs it. Sort of get the ball rolling. Anyway, the austism/asperger's came up as well, and the ST basically said I shouldn't be planning to homeschool an asperger's child, that she needs to be in public school to learn social skills. Now, this is coming from the perspective of a mother who also has AS and spent a full career in the school system. I don't see why I need to subject my child to the torture of school-age peer groups. Torture. It was hell for me. I can get her socialization through other means (scouting, homeschool groups, volunteering, etc.) and get a psych/therapist to assist with teaching her "skills." But I don't see why she needs to go through humiliation, exclusion, conformity training, or any of the other wonderful (sarcasm?) things she would get in public school. They offered for her to attend the special preschool up the street. They would work with her on potty training and social skills, she would get visual assistance if she qualifies (the VI teacher didn't show up for some reason), etc. Her triplet brother and sister would not be allowed to attend, so she would be on her own, and I don't know how well any of them would deal with that. I can see some advantages, and (supposedly) if we don't like how it's going we could pull her out. I think it would only be for this spring anyway, because next fall she'd be old enough for kindergarten. DH is thinking that if she could be taught social skills now, she might not have social problems later. I don't agree with him. I think it would be more like teaching her to put on a good show, which is what I generally do. This works well in the short term and allows me to carry on phone conversations with customers, attend classes occasionally, etc. But it breaks down over the long run. I have never been able to work in an office well. I can't fit into the social system. The only job where I ever really "fit in" at all was at a bar, and *everybody* who worked there was dysfunctional! Plus I'm concerned about this turning into future pressure not to homeschool her, which can be a big deal in a small town like this. I guess I'm looking for insight from those of you who have been there. I'm not sure there even are other homeschoolers on this list; it seems like everybody is in school. Elaynemommy to Brenden, Tamara, & Caitlin (10/12/1999 @ 26w2d) and Liam (10/15/2002 @ 40w4d) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hi Elayne, I have a 9 year old son that went to public school until half way through 1st grade and they were doing nothing to help him and at that time he wouldn't even speak to grown-ups so he wouldn't ask for help from the teacher so she thought he was just lazy. I got fed up and pulled him out to school through a Virtual Charter School. His dx is PDD-NOS and the last Dr. that I talked to said Aspergers. He had been in pre-school at 4 yrs. and in school every year up until I pulled him out. I take him everywhere to socialize and he still doesn't seem to get it. I even have him in an afterschool program where there are therapists that work with them on socialization. They also want me to put him back in public school. I think I am going to because he has come so far in the past couple of years and he really wants to go back. I can always take him back out later if it doesn't work out. From my experience, now I think he does need to be with the other children so that he can learn to deal with it. At one time I would have said no they are wrong but now that I have worked with him myself, I think he needs that life experience. I didn't think I would ever say this. Hope this helps, Sally in PA-USA special preschool We just had a meeting with the special ed teachers for our local school district. DH prompted the meeting because we just found out that Caitlin is visually impaired, and he was wanting to get her "into the system" for mobility training and stuff before she gets any worse and seriously needs it. Sort of get the ball rolling. Anyway, the austism/asperger's came up as well, and the ST basically said I shouldn't be planning to homeschool an asperger's child, that she needs to be in public school to learn social skills. Now, this is coming from the perspective of a mother who also has AS and spent a full career in the school system. I don't see why I need to subject my child to the torture of school-age peer groups. Torture. It was hell for me. I can get her socialization through other means (scouting, homeschool groups, volunteering, etc.) and get a psych/therapist to assist with teaching her "skills." But I don't see why she needs to go through humiliation, exclusion, conformity training, or any of the other wonderful (sarcasm?) things she would get in public school. They offered for her to attend the special preschool up the street. They would work with her on potty training and social skills, she would get visual assistance if she qualifies (the VI teacher didn't show up for some reason), etc. Her triplet brother and sister would not be allowed to attend, so she would be on her own, and I don't know how well any of them would deal with that. I can see some advantages, and (supposedly) if we don't like how it's going we could pull her out. I think it would only be for this spring anyway, because next fall she'd be old enough for kindergarten. DH is thinking that if she could be taught social skills now, she might not have social problems later. I don't agree with him. I think it would be more like teaching her to put on a good show, which is what I generally do. This works well in the short term and allows me to carry on phone conversations with customers, attend classes occasionally, etc. But it breaks down over the long run. I have never been able to work in an office well. I can't fit into the social system. The only job where I ever really "fit in" at all was at a bar, and *everybody* who worked there was dysfunctional! Plus I'm concerned about this turning into future pressure not to homeschool her, which can be a big deal in a small town like this. I guess I'm looking for insight from those of you who have been there. I'm not sure there even are other homeschoolers on this list; it seems like everybody is in school. Elaynemommy to Brenden, Tamara, & Caitlin (10/12/1999 @ 26w2d) and Liam (10/15/2002 @ 40w4d) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 The thing is, though, that she does interact with other children her age every single day. She has to negotiate, learn to share, defend herself, make requests, help out and work together. That's just life here, being a triplet is a communal affair, everything is shared. So I'm not sure what she will gain by interacting with other children just because they're outside the family, especially since this is a completely special-ed preschool with no "normal" children allowed. At least here she has two normal peer-group role models, and she has learned what socialization she knows from them. (She used to follow Tamara around and copy her every move, including greeting visitors and stuff.) Elaynemommy to Brenden, Tamara, & Caitlin (10/12/1999 @ 26w2d) and Liam (10/15/2002 @ 40w4d) -----Original Message-----From: Sally Rugh From my experience, now I think he does need to be with the other children so that he can learn to deal with it. At one time I would have said no they are wrong but now that I have worked with him myself, I think he needs that life experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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