The Butterfly

[Guest guest]

This is one of my favorite metaphors for the struggles of life in

general. It is also a great metaphor that I call to mind when I'm trying

to remember to not overfunction for others (a bad habit of mine -- a

flea perhaps?). In spite of the pain and confusion that most of us on

this list have known, there are beautiful things about each of us

*because of* the struggle with BPD. This is not to minimize our pain and

suffering. I have always hated the old adage that goes, " G-d never gives

us more than we can bear. " I've seen people broken my life far too many

times. Still, I am an optimist, and I have so many things for which I am

grateful.

To be honest, I doubt if I would choose the BPD brand of struggle again,

if given the choice. But since it is mine to grow through this time

around, I try to glean the gems buried in the rubble.

Best to all,

Kathy

The butterfly

A man found a butterfly cocoon and took it home so as to watch the

butterfly emerge. One day he noticed a tiny little hole in the cocoon,

so he sat down to watch for several hours. The man saw the butterfly

striving to pass its body through the small hole in the cocoon, until

there was a moment when it seemed to stop struggling. It seemed to be

stuck.

The kind man decided to help the butterfly. With a small pair of

scissors, he cut the hole in the cocoon to make it bigger. It was only

then that the butterfly could finally emerge. However, on coming out,

the butterfly had a swollen body and very small, folded wings. The man

kept watching, expecting that any minute the wings would unfold and grow

enough to support the body, but the butterfly could only creep in

circles with its swollen body and folded wings.

What the man in his kindness and urgency did not understand was that the

restriction of the tiny hole in the cocoon and the struggle of the

butterfly forced the butterfly's bodily fluids toward its wings so they

would grow big and strong, enabling it to fly. Depriving the butterfly

of struggle meant depriving it of its health and freedom.

How many times have we wished to take the shortcuts to get rid of

difficulties, grabbing those scissors and trimming the effort to be

free! Sometimes struggling is what we need in life. If we were allowed

to progress in life with no hindrances, we would become disabled. It is

in the struggling that we become strong and ultimately earn our freedom.

-- author unknown