Long: Need To Support & Protect each other, May Trigger Projection???

[Guest guest]

Hi all, I'd just like to make a comment here, in

relation to what it seems. everybody is getting so

upset about, all of these confrontations, & whether to

or not, all of us that know our 'OWN Parents' well

enough, After WE Ourselves Had to CONFRONT Our Family

First, & really, on how many occasions do you think it

took US???

All I'm saying here, is that it seems unfair of US in

many respects, & We Cannot Force Anyone whether to

confront/disclose or not to, or cut ties or not to,

that's a very personal choice, & something we then

have to live with for the rest of our lives. It's

something that they will find out for themselves,

hopefully with the guidance & support of a good

therapist, all in good time, as being a part of the

process of Our healing/recovery, just like WE NEEDED

To, & DID. We all Need to do these things in our Own

Time, & not force our opinions on some of these poor

girls, who are very Hurt & upset, scared, & also at

times, even age regressing, some, are only just

starting counselling, & everyone is trying to tell

them what they SHOULD Do. I would like to think that

we would know better than this, Especially if we have

been dealing with these issues (Recovery & Awareness,

I'm talking about here) for longer than what they

have, & we could try & be a little more understanding,

remembering, that they are Very susesptble to

Projection at the moment, & I truly believe in my

heart, that they have done exceptionally well so far,

& deserve praise, I had never come anywhere near to

what these women have, in that amount of time!

It's OK to rubbish you own nada/fada etc. to shreds,

that's what we are here for, to air our own feelings

about Our Own Families, & allow others to do the same

as when they need to, & on THEIR Terms, not anyone

else's.

Remember when there was a time, even though our nada's

had p**sed us off to the Max, & we HATED Them, or Got

ANGRY+, but then, if anyone said anything against our

mum or dad, & put them down, we then defended

them!!!??? It's because when someone insults our mum

or dad, we take it personally, We may not have wanted

to, & didn't mean to, but We just did, & it hurt us

too, feeling as though it was US that had just been

insulted.

So, we must think a little, & allow everyone to feel

as they do at this point in Their life, because if we

push too much, I'm afraid that it will more than

likely cause a lot of damage to these poor lovely

girls/Women!

who are trying so hard to come to terms with all of

this.

As I said, say what you want about your own, but don't

be so adamant as to tell others how they SHOULD Feel

& /or or ACT.

There's a big difference in me saying, my PITA Good

For Nothing NADA, who had bpd, npd, & PAS, at least,

hurt me so much, I feel as though I will hate her to

her grave!

Other than saying, my nada is like this, therefore,

yours is too, so I suggest that YOU Had better do

This, That & This, or Else, YOU'LL Never be the same

again in Your Life!!!

In the second example, I am not talking about my nada

at all, I'm talking about YOUR NADA!!! Do You believe

that this would be in my best interests to do this,

let alone the best interests of the poor person's

family that I am attacking in the meantime, therefore,

attacking the person directly!

& although we really do believe that our bpd carers,

have never heard a word that we said, ( & it probably

looks as clear as day to us that they don't) that's

impossible, because even the most severe form of

Personality Disorders, Never stay totally psychotic

all of the time, there are times when they do

remember, & they can't help but to reflect on past

actions of theirs, & that's when they feel it. They

will probably never show us that side, but it has to

be there, otherwise they would be locked up & the key

thrown away, as what some seem to be implying is that

they have totally lost their minds, & are void of all

feelings, this just simply is not true, it could be

for a high majority of the time, but Not Always, & I

am Not speaking about Myself here either, I am

speaking about All Personality Disorders, until one

has completely lost their mind, & they need to be

institutionalised for their own good. Insanity, I

think it's called???

Anyway, let's be gentle on each other & ourselves

here, we're working really hard, & we really Need each

other's support at the moment, as there are many sad

things happening in all of our lives at the moment.

Take Care All.

Hugs,

Dee:)

http://pages.ivillage.com/scasos/thescasossurvivorsupportersite/

_____________________________________________________________________________

http://shopping.yahoo.com.au - Father's Day Shopping

- Find the perfect gift for your Dad for Father's Day