Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 I have to admit I get nervous about sharing alot of specific details on this list. I admire people who go as far as quoting interactions. What if he ever saw these posts? Or what if someone who knows us is subscribed? I'm not usually a paranoid type of person, but for some reason this makes me nervous. Joy __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 Joy wrote: << I have to admit I get nervous about sharing alot of specific details on this list. I admire people who go as far as quoting interactions. What if he ever saw these posts? Or what if someone who knows us is subscribed? I'm not usually a paranoid type of person, but for some reason this makes me nervous. >> Hi Joy and our other Newbies, Joy's post reminds me of myself almost six years ago when I first went on the Internet and found Randi's NonBP email support list with a dozen NonBPs on board (now there are over 1,000)! There were no books then titled _Stop Walking On Eggshells_ or _Understanding The Borderline Mother_. It was a slow painful journey for me since then to learn to trust others and to recognize and work on ridding myself of my BPD 'fleas'. My BPD/NPD nada had already been deceased for a decade but she was still living rent-free in my head. Plus I was hypervigilant and had PTSD. What Joy is feeling/expressing is a normal response for a newbie KO on one of these *open* lists. We KOs have been controlled from our earliest days by our BPD parent by FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt). We encourage listmembers here to get a free email box under an anonymous name from Yahoo.com or Hotmail.com and to also join one of our closed lists. Besides ModOasis, NonBP-oasis, WTOsibling, and NOnBP-sibling (our open 'platform' lists that newbies land on), we also have closed (restricted membership) lists for those with BPD mothers, for those with BPD fathers, and for those with BPD siblings. Our restricted membership lists have numbers after them -- ie: NonBP-oasis2 NonBP-oasis3 NonBP-oasis4 NonBP-sibling2 NonBP-sibling3 We also have other closed Oasis lists that KOs have been active on for several years -- and that listmembers are still posting to at the rate of 70 posts/day! These lists have been lifesavers. Those who are active posters are the ones who profit the most from being on these lists. Also, there have been meetings of KOs in Texas (1998), Wisconsin (1999) and Austin, TX (2000). We'd hoped to have a meeting in PA this past October but the 911 'happening' wiped out those plans. Maybe next year we'll have a meeting in Ohio or Indiana -- somewhere more centrally located, within driving distance or accessible by train. ModOasis is a very active list and we encourage participation here for those who are ready but the list that Joy, for example, would probably feel safer/more comfortable posting on is our NonBP-oasis4 list (for those with BPD fathers). The membership on that list is still low (five listmembers at present) but I'd like to invite Joy and any other KOs out there with a BPD father to join that list. I also invite those with a BPD mother to join one of our other restricted membership lists. Info on how to join those lists is in the ModOasis archives at: http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/ModOasis or write to me at my email box, below. Cheers, Edith - Moderator PsyProf@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 Joy wrote: << I have to admit I get nervous about sharing alot of specific details on this list. I admire people who go as far as quoting interactions. What if he ever saw these posts? Or what if someone who knows us is subscribed? I'm not usually a paranoid type of person, but for some reason this makes me nervous. >> Hi Joy and our other Newbies, Joy's post reminds me of myself almost six years ago when I first went on the Internet and found Randi's NonBP email support list with a dozen NonBPs on board (now there are over 1,000)! There were no books then titled _Stop Walking On Eggshells_ or _Understanding The Borderline Mother_. It was a slow painful journey for me since then to learn to trust others and to recognize and work on ridding myself of my BPD 'fleas'. My BPD/NPD nada had already been deceased for a decade but she was still living rent-free in my head. Plus I was hypervigilant and had PTSD. What Joy is feeling/expressing is a normal response for a newbie KO on one of these *open* lists. We KOs have been controlled from our earliest days by our BPD parent by FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt). We encourage listmembers here to get a free email box under an anonymous name from Yahoo.com or Hotmail.com and to also join one of our closed lists. Besides ModOasis, NonBP-oasis, WTOsibling, and NOnBP-sibling (our open 'platform' lists that newbies land on), we also have closed (restricted membership) lists for those with BPD mothers, for those with BPD fathers, and for those with BPD siblings. Our restricted membership lists have numbers after them -- ie: NonBP-oasis2 NonBP-oasis3 NonBP-oasis4 NonBP-sibling2 NonBP-sibling3 We also have other closed Oasis lists that KOs have been active on for several years -- and that listmembers are still posting to at the rate of 70 posts/day! These lists have been lifesavers. Those who are active posters are the ones who profit the most from being on these lists. Also, there have been meetings of KOs in Texas (1998), Wisconsin (1999) and Austin, TX (2000). We'd hoped to have a meeting in PA this past October but the 911 'happening' wiped out those plans. Maybe next year we'll have a meeting in Ohio or Indiana -- somewhere more centrally located, within driving distance or accessible by train. ModOasis is a very active list and we encourage participation here for those who are ready but the list that Joy, for example, would probably feel safer/more comfortable posting on is our NonBP-oasis4 list (for those with BPD fathers). The membership on that list is still low (five listmembers at present) but I'd like to invite Joy and any other KOs out there with a BPD father to join that list. I also invite those with a BPD mother to join one of our other restricted membership lists. Info on how to join those lists is in the ModOasis archives at: http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/ModOasis or write to me at my email box, below. Cheers, Edith - Moderator PsyProf@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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