friends

[Guest guest]

Good Morning!

The trend about friendships caught my attention and I sat and thought about

how my friendships came about in my life.

While I was a teenager, most of my friends were older than me. (50-75)

(Maybe I was seeking a mom?) I was close to my dad, there were instances

where nada was very obvious in her dislike to me and dad couldn't help but

see it and would stand beside me. As I grew older I realized that this

caused even more jealousy with nada and put dad in very trying situations

with her.

While I was single, I found that whatever friends I had were usually users.

And with my background, it seemed normal. But the longer I was out on my own

making decisions for myself, I found that there were things I just wouldn't

put up with anymore.

My older friends were passing away and I was slowly weeding out the users,

and began to wonder if it was possible to have " real " friends.

My first real friend was my second husband. He " knew " me but never used this

for his own gain. And believe me, I wasn't letting anyone that close to me.

He fought for every inch!!! But he stood beside me and was always there

when the nada stuff would start. ( Imagine!! Someone knows me that well and

STILL likes me! Loves me even!) His loss took me a long time to get over.

I found that it is possible to find " real " friends. I have three that I

marvel at. None of them have the same interests, one likes to quilt and sew

another just works her butt off and loves on her grandchildren, and the

last one can make something out of nothing, she's involved in boyscouts ,

and we usually get together once a week and work on crafts. We have a ball!

Yet they are supportive, they are kind, they DON'T tell me what to do.

Finding out about BPD not only helped me understand nada and the dinamics of

the foo, but also helped me figure out about the sort of friends I used to

have. I have a better understanding of what healthy relationships are and

that I CAN have a " real " friend and I can be one too. Don't lose the hope of

having one or think it isn't possible, it's VERY possible, I should know!

Warm thoughts to all, :0)