Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Hello, It sure is nice to know that there are others who understand what it is like to have a BPD/NPD mother. My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only one who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had many of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was caught between the two of them in some sort of Twighlight Zone. I have a dear 20 year old son and I have tried hard to be everything my mother wasn't to him. He has suffered a lot from both his father and grandmother. My sister (age 38) is totally emeshed with mother. Mother has been officially diagnosed, but sister is also MI but without anything official. Mother has never engaged in therapy, but has been able to get medical doctors to support her addiction to benzos for years and years. She was thrown out of one psych unit and a nationally known rehab program!!!!!!! God Bless you all. Thanks to the list owners - I no longer have to bear this alone. Barb __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Hi Barb, and welcome to ModOasis. See my comments inserted below. << Hello, It sure is nice to know that there are others who understand what it is like to have a BPD/NPD mother. My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only one who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had many of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was caught between the two of them in some sort of Twighlight Zone. >> Although I spent two years in an abusive relationship (as a result of my FOO -- family of origin -- training) -- I bailed before marrying him... although the wedding was only 6 weeks away when I finally had the courage to be honest with myself and FLEE! The man I eventually married is a kind and loving person, so I am very grateful for this. You will find lots of company here -- many of us have entered and stayed far too long in abusive relationships due to our upbringing. Also, the BPD/NPD combo seems somewhat common -- I can think of several people on this list who are in that situation. << I have a dear 20 year old son and I have tried hard to be everything my mother wasn't to him. He has suffered a lot from both his father and grandmother. >> I don't have children yet, but I understand you wanting to be everything your mother wasn't to you. I feel the same way. There are also many people on this list that have struggled with protecting their children from abusive spouses and/or grandparents. << My sister (age 38) is totally emeshed with mother. >> We have lots of dysfunctional siblings too! << Mother has been officially diagnosed, >> Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. << Mother has never engaged in therapy, but has been able to get medical doctors to support her addiction to benzos for years and years. She was thrown out of one psych unit and a nationally known rehab program!!!!!!! >> Yup, BPs are master manipulators. My nada (BP mom) is a pain-pill addict, and has been known to get different doctors to write scripts at the same time so she can double up her dosage. << God Bless you all. Thanks to the list owners - I no longer have to bear this alone. Barb >> This group has changed my life! Please post, share your stories, ask questions, whatever. We are a friendly bunch! Welcome, Anon __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Hi Barb, and welcome to ModOasis. See my comments inserted below. << Hello, It sure is nice to know that there are others who understand what it is like to have a BPD/NPD mother. My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only one who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had many of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was caught between the two of them in some sort of Twighlight Zone. >> Although I spent two years in an abusive relationship (as a result of my FOO -- family of origin -- training) -- I bailed before marrying him... although the wedding was only 6 weeks away when I finally had the courage to be honest with myself and FLEE! The man I eventually married is a kind and loving person, so I am very grateful for this. You will find lots of company here -- many of us have entered and stayed far too long in abusive relationships due to our upbringing. Also, the BPD/NPD combo seems somewhat common -- I can think of several people on this list who are in that situation. << I have a dear 20 year old son and I have tried hard to be everything my mother wasn't to him. He has suffered a lot from both his father and grandmother. >> I don't have children yet, but I understand you wanting to be everything your mother wasn't to you. I feel the same way. There are also many people on this list that have struggled with protecting their children from abusive spouses and/or grandparents. << My sister (age 38) is totally emeshed with mother. >> We have lots of dysfunctional siblings too! << Mother has been officially diagnosed, >> Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. << Mother has never engaged in therapy, but has been able to get medical doctors to support her addiction to benzos for years and years. She was thrown out of one psych unit and a nationally known rehab program!!!!!!! >> Yup, BPs are master manipulators. My nada (BP mom) is a pain-pill addict, and has been known to get different doctors to write scripts at the same time so she can double up her dosage. << God Bless you all. Thanks to the list owners - I no longer have to bear this alone. Barb >> This group has changed my life! Please post, share your stories, ask questions, whatever. We are a friendly bunch! Welcome, Anon __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Hi Barb, and welcome to ModOasis. See my comments inserted below. << Hello, It sure is nice to know that there are others who understand what it is like to have a BPD/NPD mother. My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only one who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had many of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was caught between the two of them in some sort of Twighlight Zone. >> Although I spent two years in an abusive relationship (as a result of my FOO -- family of origin -- training) -- I bailed before marrying him... although the wedding was only 6 weeks away when I finally had the courage to be honest with myself and FLEE! The man I eventually married is a kind and loving person, so I am very grateful for this. You will find lots of company here -- many of us have entered and stayed far too long in abusive relationships due to our upbringing. Also, the BPD/NPD combo seems somewhat common -- I can think of several people on this list who are in that situation. << I have a dear 20 year old son and I have tried hard to be everything my mother wasn't to him. He has suffered a lot from both his father and grandmother. >> I don't have children yet, but I understand you wanting to be everything your mother wasn't to you. I feel the same way. There are also many people on this list that have struggled with protecting their children from abusive spouses and/or grandparents. << My sister (age 38) is totally emeshed with mother. >> We have lots of dysfunctional siblings too! << Mother has been officially diagnosed, >> Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. << Mother has never engaged in therapy, but has been able to get medical doctors to support her addiction to benzos for years and years. She was thrown out of one psych unit and a nationally known rehab program!!!!!!! >> Yup, BPs are master manipulators. My nada (BP mom) is a pain-pill addict, and has been known to get different doctors to write scripts at the same time so she can double up her dosage. << God Bless you all. Thanks to the list owners - I no longer have to bear this alone. Barb >> This group has changed my life! Please post, share your stories, ask questions, whatever. We are a friendly bunch! Welcome, Anon __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. Answer: She has been in the hospital many times - for real medical problems as well as psych. She was upset a couple of years ago re: a psych admission and asked me to get her record and read it. My hunch re: her dx was confirmed as " mixed personality disorder with borderline and narcissistic features " . << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. MI = mentally ill or mental illness __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. Answer: She has been in the hospital many times - for real medical problems as well as psych. She was upset a couple of years ago re: a psych admission and asked me to get her record and read it. My hunch re: her dx was confirmed as " mixed personality disorder with borderline and narcissistic features " . << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. MI = mentally ill or mental illness __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 Would you mind sharing how she was diagnosed? Not many of us have a parent with a diagnosis -- we just kind of figured it out on our own. Answer: She has been in the hospital many times - for real medical problems as well as psych. She was upset a couple of years ago re: a psych admission and asked me to get her record and read it. My hunch re: her dx was confirmed as " mixed personality disorder with borderline and narcissistic features " . << but sister is also MI but without anything official. >> What's " MI " ? I'm not familiar with this acronym. MI = mentally ill or mental illness __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 --- Barbeliza wrote: > My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. > I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only > one > who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had > many > of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married > very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was > caught between the two of them in some sort of > Twighlight Zone. I've been there too... Welcome to the group. Looking forward to your posts... Cyndie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 --- Barbeliza wrote: > My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. > I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only > one > who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had > many > of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married > very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was > caught between the two of them in some sort of > Twighlight Zone. I've been there too... Welcome to the group. Looking forward to your posts... Cyndie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2001 Report Share Posted December 30, 2001 --- Barbeliza wrote: > My story (like everyones') is long and complicated. > I'm 51, my mother is 77. I thought I was the only > one > who " married my mother " because my ex-husband had > many > of the same BPD/NPD traits as my mother! I married > very young and stayed married for 24 years. I was > caught between the two of them in some sort of > Twighlight Zone. I've been there too... Welcome to the group. Looking forward to your posts... Cyndie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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