holidays

[Guest guest]

I want to tell everyone I'm really proud of myself this week. My mom has

been visiting since Xmas. My sister also came to town which she only does

every other year (splitting time with husbands family). I'm going to try to

make this story short so I hope it makes sense. My parents are divorced and

my sister is staying with my dad because of room issues. My mom hasn't

liked that idea but deals with it with a lot of complaining. My sister came

in on Wednesday and she spent most of Thursday with my mom and today with

old friends. We plan on going to my dad's house for our family Xmas

tomorrow. Last night while my sister, brothers and their families were here

while talking about everyones plans my mom started acting withdrawn and she

finally left the room and got on the computer. We walked in the room and

she was looking at websites on suicide. This is her favorite form of

manipulation. When we asked what was going on she replied that she is

losing her family and that life is so unfair etc. Instead of being drawn

into her drama, I stated that she sounded very upset and she really needed

to contact her therapist as I am not equipped to deal with this. Well she

started crying about everyone choosing our dad and that we were all she had

and we should plan on spending some of tomorrow with her. I told her that

we were not the ones who got the divorce and we should not be put in the

position to choose. She got hysterical, talked about leaving that night,

complained that no one had any concern for her. I listened up to a point

and then told her I was not emotionally or professionally able to handle

this. When she continued, I told her I loved her but I was going to bed

now. Today it has been a continuation of the same old, same old but I've

been able to remain emotionally detached. I told her husband to call her

therapist on Monday and I will probably call myself, because of her threats

of suicide. But I am so proud that I was able to set my boundaries that I

cannot take responsibility for her problems and I stuck to my boundaries.

That's the first time I've ever been able to do that. It's the most

empowering feeling. She's supposed to leave Sun morning, but is talking

about leaving tomorrow because of our betrayal. So at the most only 2 more

days.

I want to thank everyone here. Without your posts and reading the book SWOE

I don't know if I would have been able to recognize what was happening and

have the strength to maintain my boundaries.

Thanks

Jules