Re: To Sally re:Rose, Re Daughter - AS

[Guest guest]

Hi

if teachers and professionals were to accept that we know what is best for

our children then they would have to accept that a lot of the training that

they have done was pointless. As parents, most of us are not trained on how

to best to parent our kids but on the whole must of us do a great job. This

is purely because we know them better and know what situations work best. If

you want to home school your child and you feel that it is the best learning

environment for your child then you must do it. Don'y be put off by people

telling you their opinions. Lets face it, it wasn't that long ago they told

the mothers and fathers of asd kids to put their children in a mental

institution and forget about them.

I know of a few people who have/are home tutoring and they report that once

the LEA realise you are serious about the whole thing they leave you to it.

With special needs kids they don't often check there progress (although they

are supposed to), i think this is because it is so expensive to keep them in

the system they are quite relieved when people opt out as it will free up

some of there budget (of course this is just my personal opinion).

Socialising? I believe that kids have the right to develop at their own pace

in all aspects whether this be crawling and walking or educational stuff, or

socialising. It's difficult to grasp the concept of autistic/asperger

children preferring their own company, i often have to remind myself too,

but I would not force him to write with his right hand just because most

people do or because he looks 'cack-handed' and awkward.

just remember it is YOUR child and YOUR choice, trust your own instincts.

Our son attends special needs school and is doing ok.

>

>Reply-To: autism-aspergers

>To: <autism-aspergers >

>Subject: Re: To Sally re:Rose, Re Daughter - AS

>Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 11:08:20 -0000

>

>Hi Leanne,

>

> > Many teachers and specialists I

> > have spoken to have snubbed this idea saying that that would be no

> > good for a child with AS as he needs to socialize - " you must force

> > him to socialise ... you know that don't you... " .

>

>These people are talking rubbish, to put it politely. Forcing someone with

>an ASD to socialise will cause them immense damage. They WILL NOT learn

>social skills by being around people - that is the whole point. The

>disorder

>prevents them from being able to learn all the social skills that we

>'absorb' from infancy without even knowing that we are doing it.

>

>If you read any of the excellent books written by adults with ASD, you will

>realise that being in social situations is HARD WORK for them, because they

>have to constantly consciously think about all the social information

>(facial expression, gesture, body language etc etc), not to mention working

>out all the semantics and pragmatics involved in speech. The rest of us do

>this subconsciously.

>

>Providing structured encounters, and allowing them to terminate the social

>contact when they become overloaded and can no longer cope, is much more

>helpful.

>

>The other thing is that a lot of people just cannot accept that social

>situations just are not fun or enjoyable for someone with ASD. They

>*prefer*

>to be on their own, and we must learn to respect their desires. It is not

>acceptable to force them to do something just because we like it or feel

>that they have got to 'be normal'. It is as bad as when those affected by

>thalidomide were forced to wear unwieldy and ungainly artificial limbs,

>which did absolutely nothing for their quality of life.

>

>Your plans for home education sound wonderful to me, and I think your son

>would blossom in a situation where he learns at his own pace. In fact he

>will probably learn faster if he is not obliged to deal with all the social

>stuff as well. You will find ways of teaching him the social skills he

>needs, and doing it in the safe environment of home, rather than the

>overwhelming and frightening environment of school, may make it easier for

>him to pick them up.

>

>Good luck

> in England

>

>(For the record my son has always been in mainstream education, and has

>coped reasonably well.)

>

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