Re: Hania, honoring your mother

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

Nada called again today. I didn't take the call. I did listen to her message,

though. She is trying to guilt me, but I am resisting. The reality is that why

should I take time away from MY kids just to listen to her. All she does is

take. I have to do that reading on narcissism. I think she is part that and

queen. I also am realizing that I do not owe her any explanations about what I

do with my life. My life is NOT hers anymore.

Hania

Hania, honoring your mother

Hania, the word honor means to give weight or importance to the relationship -

not to send gifts, cards, or phone calls.

All of us on this list(s) understand the importance of a mother and father -

maybe more than other people! The Bible gives very strict instructions about

how parents are to treat their children - they are not to provoke their

children

to wrath - Eph.6:4.

Also, God expects us to grow up and leave the earthly parent - to separate and

become an adult with Him as our Father and guide. Because of abandonment

issues

nadas kept us from separating properly and therefore have kept us from growing

as God would have us to do!! ( Btw, that doesn't mean we can't have a

relationship with them - just that they are no longer to be our source of

truth.

On the other hand, why have a relationship with someone who is evil and hurts

you. You've tried your best and it's not your fault that the relationship

doesn't work.)

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

Nada called again today. I didn't take the call. I did listen to her message,

though. She is trying to guilt me, but I am resisting. The reality is that why

should I take time away from MY kids just to listen to her. All she does is

take. I have to do that reading on narcissism. I think she is part that and

queen. I also am realizing that I do not owe her any explanations about what I

do with my life. My life is NOT hers anymore.

Hania

Hania, honoring your mother

Hania, the word honor means to give weight or importance to the relationship -

not to send gifts, cards, or phone calls.

All of us on this list(s) understand the importance of a mother and father -

maybe more than other people! The Bible gives very strict instructions about

how parents are to treat their children - they are not to provoke their

children

to wrath - Eph.6:4.

Also, God expects us to grow up and leave the earthly parent - to separate and

become an adult with Him as our Father and guide. Because of abandonment

issues

nadas kept us from separating properly and therefore have kept us from growing

as God would have us to do!! ( Btw, that doesn't mean we can't have a

relationship with them - just that they are no longer to be our source of

truth.

On the other hand, why have a relationship with someone who is evil and hurts

you. You've tried your best and it's not your fault that the relationship

doesn't work.)

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

Nada called again today. I didn't take the call. I did listen to her message,

though. She is trying to guilt me, but I am resisting. The reality is that why

should I take time away from MY kids just to listen to her. All she does is

take. I have to do that reading on narcissism. I think she is part that and

queen. I also am realizing that I do not owe her any explanations about what I

do with my life. My life is NOT hers anymore.

Hania

Hania, honoring your mother

Hania, the word honor means to give weight or importance to the relationship -

not to send gifts, cards, or phone calls.

All of us on this list(s) understand the importance of a mother and father -

maybe more than other people! The Bible gives very strict instructions about

how parents are to treat their children - they are not to provoke their

children

to wrath - Eph.6:4.

Also, God expects us to grow up and leave the earthly parent - to separate and

become an adult with Him as our Father and guide. Because of abandonment

issues

nadas kept us from separating properly and therefore have kept us from growing

as God would have us to do!! ( Btw, that doesn't mean we can't have a

relationship with them - just that they are no longer to be our source of

truth.

On the other hand, why have a relationship with someone who is evil and hurts

you. You've tried your best and it's not your fault that the relationship

doesn't work.)

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after that. The letters still show

up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't touch me. The time I heard her

voice on my machine, it almost scared the ..... out of me. I hadn't realized

until I got away and

was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so much!

Hang in there. It gets easier.

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after that. The letters still show

up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't touch me. The time I heard her

voice on my machine, it almost scared the ..... out of me. I hadn't realized

until I got away and

was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so much!

Hang in there. It gets easier.

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Its hard. I was out and came home to yet another message. I have to have an

answering machine because of my kids. I don't know if I should continue to

ignore her or to call when I know she won't be home and leave her a message that

I am VERY busy. I just don't have to courage to tell her off once and for all.

I admit I am a wimp. You know, just want everything to be peaceful.

Hania

Re: Hania, honoring your mother

Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after that. The letters still

show

up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't touch me. The time I heard her

voice on my machine, it almost scared the ..... out of me. I hadn't realized

until I got away and

was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so much!

Hang in there. It gets easier.

Ilene

To get off the list, send a blank message to

ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to

ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs

can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Hania,

I know how you feel. Everytime my parents call, I get

almost sick to my stomach at the thought of having to

call them back. My therapist suggested that when I do

call them, let them know that I'm very busy and can

only talk for about 15 minutes. Personally, I haven't

had the courage to do even that yet because I know

that my nada will just tell me to call her later when

I can talk, which I don't want to do.

Another suggestion is to call her and leave a message

on her answering machine. You could tell her that you

might not be in when she calls (or not answering the

phone) and to leave a message telling you what her

call is about.

I know that it's a tough situation. It's sad when the

thought of even calling your nada creates this much

stress. I do understand.

Good luck!

--- Hania wrote:

> Its hard. I was out and came home to yet another

> message. I have to have an answering machine

> because of my kids. I don't know if I should

> continue to ignore her or to call when I know she

> won't be home and leave her a message that I am VERY

> busy. I just don't have to courage to tell her off

> once and for all. I admit I am a wimp. You know,

> just want everything to be peaceful.

> Hania

> Re: Hania, honoring your

> mother

>

>

>

>

> Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after

> that. The letters still show

> up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't

> touch me. The time I heard her

> voice on my machine, it almost scared the .....

> out of me. I hadn't realized

> until I got away and

> was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so

> much!

>

> Hang in there. It gets easier.

>

> Ilene

>

>

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop

> Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be

> ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the

> table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hania,

I know how you feel. Everytime my parents call, I get

almost sick to my stomach at the thought of having to

call them back. My therapist suggested that when I do

call them, let them know that I'm very busy and can

only talk for about 15 minutes. Personally, I haven't

had the courage to do even that yet because I know

that my nada will just tell me to call her later when

I can talk, which I don't want to do.

Another suggestion is to call her and leave a message

on her answering machine. You could tell her that you

might not be in when she calls (or not answering the

phone) and to leave a message telling you what her

call is about.

I know that it's a tough situation. It's sad when the

thought of even calling your nada creates this much

stress. I do understand.

Good luck!

--- Hania wrote:

> Its hard. I was out and came home to yet another

> message. I have to have an answering machine

> because of my kids. I don't know if I should

> continue to ignore her or to call when I know she

> won't be home and leave her a message that I am VERY

> busy. I just don't have to courage to tell her off

> once and for all. I admit I am a wimp. You know,

> just want everything to be peaceful.

> Hania

> Re: Hania, honoring your

> mother

>

>

>

>

> Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after

> that. The letters still show

> up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't

> touch me. The time I heard her

> voice on my machine, it almost scared the .....

> out of me. I hadn't realized

> until I got away and

> was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so

> much!

>

> Hang in there. It gets easier.

>

> Ilene

>

>

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop

> Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be

> ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the

> table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hania,

I know how you feel. Everytime my parents call, I get

almost sick to my stomach at the thought of having to

call them back. My therapist suggested that when I do

call them, let them know that I'm very busy and can

only talk for about 15 minutes. Personally, I haven't

had the courage to do even that yet because I know

that my nada will just tell me to call her later when

I can talk, which I don't want to do.

Another suggestion is to call her and leave a message

on her answering machine. You could tell her that you

might not be in when she calls (or not answering the

phone) and to leave a message telling you what her

call is about.

I know that it's a tough situation. It's sad when the

thought of even calling your nada creates this much

stress. I do understand.

Good luck!

--- Hania wrote:

> Its hard. I was out and came home to yet another

> message. I have to have an answering machine

> because of my kids. I don't know if I should

> continue to ignore her or to call when I know she

> won't be home and leave her a message that I am VERY

> busy. I just don't have to courage to tell her off

> once and for all. I admit I am a wimp. You know,

> just want everything to be peaceful.

> Hania

> Re: Hania, honoring your

> mother

>

>

>

>

> Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after

> that. The letters still show

> up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't

> touch me. The time I heard her

> voice on my machine, it almost scared the .....

> out of me. I hadn't realized

> until I got away and

> was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so

> much!

>

> Hang in there. It gets easier.

>

> Ilene

>

>

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop

> Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be

> ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the

> table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

<<

Hania,

I know how you feel. Everytime my parents call, I get almost

sick to my stomach at the thought of having to call them back.

>>

Take heart fellow KOs! This was me 6 weeks ago, but I'M OVER

IT!!! I'm not afraid of her anymore! Hang in there and keep

walking up that path -- it's not like this forever!

Anon

--- E D wrote:

> Hania,

> I know how you feel. Everytime my parents call, I get

> almost sick to my stomach at the thought of having to

> call them back. My therapist suggested that when I do

> call them, let them know that I'm very busy and can

> only talk for about 15 minutes. Personally, I haven't

> had the courage to do even that yet because I know

> that my nada will just tell me to call her later when

> I can talk, which I don't want to do.

> Another suggestion is to call her and leave a message

> on her answering machine. You could tell her that you

> might not be in when she calls (or not answering the

> phone) and to leave a message telling you what her

> call is about.

> I know that it's a tough situation. It's sad when the

> thought of even calling your nada creates this much

> stress. I do understand.

> Good luck!

>

>

>

> --- Hania wrote:

> > Its hard. I was out and came home to yet another

> > message. I have to have an answering machine

> > because of my kids. I don't know if I should

> > continue to ignore her or to call when I know she

> > won't be home and leave her a message that I am VERY

> > busy. I just don't have to courage to tell her off

> > once and for all. I admit I am a wimp. You know,

> > just want everything to be peaceful.

> > Hania

> > Re: Hania, honoring your

> > mother

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Hania, my nada only called twice and gave up after

> > that. The letters still show

> > up, but they don't carry her " voice " and don't

> > touch me. The time I heard her

> > voice on my machine, it almost scared the .....

> > out of me. I hadn't realized

> > until I got away and

> > was " safe " that she had the power to scare me so

> > much!

> >

> > Hang in there. It gets easier.

> >

> > Ilene

> >

> >

> >

> > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> > & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop

> > Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be

> > ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the

> > table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >