RE: two steps forward, one step back

[Guest guest]

Well ... the old two steps forward one step back has returned.

Last week was being praised for keeping it together, pretty much,

after someone stole his Yu-Gi-Oh deck box and about $100 worth of cards from

him during lunch. He threw his book bag, hit a door on his way out of the

lunchroom and went on to his next period class where his resource teacher

said that even though it was a struggle, he was staying fairly much

together. I chose to take him home thought because when he called me he was

trying so hard to keep from crying and I did not want him teased should he

break down. It ended up being the right choice, as after he got home he had

a good long cry and got very depressed that he had lost the cards that I had

spent money on that very morning.

He also received praise for pulling his grades up by the semester end (from

F's - due to missing much school because of his migraines- to C's and

C+'s.) The weekend went very well. There had been much improvement since

his sister moved out in his behaviors at home.

This morning I received a call at work that he had had another meltdown in

the lunchroom. He had again thrown his bookbag and was cussing profusely.

The reason? He had gotten up from his table to take his tray back and

returned to the table to find it occuppied by a buch of girls. He asked

them to move and they told him they would not. He began to obsess about it

" It's my seat, I want my seat "

over and over, the more he obsessed the angrier he got. (this is a kid who

has one or two seats that he ever sits at. This is his routine and he

doesn't deviate from it.) When asked by the principal to go to the office

(more as a distraction than a punishment according to the associate

principal (not the same one as before - there are two) he refused,

continuing to escalate to the point where they physically carried hiim out

of the lunchroom. Once they got him to the school liaison officer's office,

he curled up into a ball on the couch, turned up his headphones to his CD

player full blast and began to read (obviously trying to isolate himself so

he could try to de-escalate himself). Everytime they tried to pull him back

to the present and back to the issue at hand, he'd start escalating again.

To make a long story short, he received a disorderly conduct ticket and a

two day suspension.

I have a meeting with his med doc tomorrow to see if he wants to implement a

med change he suggested in early December to help with his OCD (which seems

to have steadily gotten worse since before the holidays - not so much at

home, but definitely at school). One of his teachers wonders if this newest

one is as the result of the additional stress from adding another class.

The last big meltdown was two days after starting the last new class.

I am also seeing if he can get in to see his therapist. Although this may

not be possible - he's booked up until March 12. He's also a House

Representative for our state ... so he has his handles full with trying to

balance his schedules. We may have to find another therapist .. .although

Mark is so wonderful, I hate to do that.

We have a meeting with the school principal, the liaison officer, the

resource room teacher, our district's Director of Special Services, and

other parties that may have an interest on Thursday morning before they will

allow him back in. I want to compile some information about his diagnoses

.... to refresh their memories - as there are 1300 kids in this high school.

's dad made a very astute comment while I was talking to him on ICQ.

" They would NEVER ticket a student with a mental/physical handicap -- yet

they continually do this to -- doesn't he get SSI for it? -- That's

my brainstorm " . He also said " but it's still a " mental " disorder and where

he may handle himself 9 times ok-- the 10th might be the melt-down, if the

situation has never presented it to him-- other times he may go 99 times

then it's the straw that broke the camels back -- trouble is, the " adults "

that should know better get in his face and make the entire situation

worse. " and " does the person who took his seat have any consequences -- heck

no, probably a model student, but if that was who took someone elses

seat, and replied, as I could see him doing, it's an open cafeteria,

I can sit anywhere I want -- would be asked to move, and be

disorderly for that situation -- It's a no win situation, and again the

" adults " at the school need to see that -- if they ever could look at it

from a kids point of view, with or without a disability. "

I feel that isn't a bad kid, isn't a delinquent kid ... he is a

kid for whom some of the time, the world is a baffling place. and his

reactions may not be what other people expect.

Would any of you who have an idea or an insight, please let me know them....

even if you have nothing more to say than " I know how you feel. " I am open

to any and all comments.

Thanks

_________________________________________________________________

Learn how to choose, serve, and enjoy wine at Wine @ MSN.

http://wine.msn.com/

[Guest guest]

Hi …

Your sounds a lot like my daughter….at home. Because

she has social anxiety, outside of home, MOST of the time, she doesn’t

allow herself to lose it completely. (Usually.) She just can’t handle things not

going her way….

I think the therapist is an excellent idea…and regularly

scheduled meetings would be good too if you can swing it. We see ours every 3

weeks and have for 5 years. He’s a rock in our lives…always there

to bounce things off for us as parents, and there to help guide Beth through

the rough twists and turns in life, too. He’s represented us at IEP

meetings several times as well. He understands Beth. So few do, it’s

wonderful to have someone who really does!!

And then there are the meds. They are so important. I’d

definitely talk to the dr about them, explaining just

what you’ve told us. Anti-anxiety meds can help so much. My daughter is

on neurontin and serequel….they

do help her take the edge off, at least. She’s still very anxious and has

her obsessions, no patience, ego-centric, etc. But really, they do help!!! LOL

Hang in there Steph. You’ve got

your hands full.

Maralee

RE:

two steps forward, one step back

Well ... the old two steps forward one step back has

returned.

Last week was being praised for keeping it

together, pretty much,

after someone stole his Yu-Gi-Oh deck box and

about $100 worth of cards from

him during lunch. He threw his book bag, hit

a door on his way out of the

lunchroom and went on to his next period class

where his resource teacher

said that even though it was a struggle, he was

staying fairly much

together. I chose to take him home thought

because when he called me he was

trying so hard to keep from crying and I did not

want him teased should he

break down. It ended up being the right

choice, as after he got home he had

a good long cry and got very depressed that he had

lost the cards that I had

spent money on that very morning.

He also received praise for pulling his grades up

by the semester end (from

F's - due to missing much school because of

his migraines- to C's and

C+'s.) The weekend went very well.

There had been much improvement since

his sister moved out in his behaviors at

home.

This morning I received a call at work that he had

had another meltdown in

the lunchroom. He had again thrown his

bookbag and was cussing profusely.

The reason? He had gotten up from his

table to take his tray back and

returned to the table to find it occuppied by a

buch of girls. He asked

them to move and they told him they would

not. He began to obsess about it

" It's my seat, I want my seat "

over and over, the more he obsessed the angrier he

got. (this is a kid who

has one or two seats that he ever sits at.

This is his routine and he

doesn't deviate from it.) When asked by the

principal to go to the office

(more as a distraction than a punishment according

to the associate

principal (not the same one as before - there are

two) he refused,

continuing to escalate to the point where they

physically carried hiim out

of the lunchroom. Once they got him to the

school liaison officer's office,

he curled up into a ball on the couch, turned up

his headphones to his CD

player full blast and began to read (obviously

trying to isolate himself so

he could try to de-escalate himself). Everytime

they tried to pull him back

to the present and back to the issue at hand, he'd

start escalating again.

To make a long story short, he received a

disorderly conduct ticket and a

two day suspension.

I have a meeting with his med doc tomorrow to see

if he wants to implement a

med change he suggested in early December to help

with his OCD (which seems

to have steadily gotten worse since before the

holidays - not so much at

home, but definitely at school). One of his

teachers wonders if this newest

one is as the result of the additional stress from

adding another class.

The last big meltdown was two days after starting

the last new class.

I am also seeing if he can get in to see his

therapist. Although this may

not be possible - he's booked up until March

12. He's also a House

Representative for our state ... so he has

his handles full with trying to

balance his schedules. We may have to find

another therapist .. .although

Mark is so wonderful, I hate to do that.

We have a meeting with the school principal, the

liaison officer, the

resource room teacher, our district's Director of

Special Services, and

other parties that may have an interest on

Thursday morning before they will

allow him back in. I want to compile

some information about his diagnoses

.... to refresh their memories - as there are 1300

kids in this high school.

's dad made a very astute comment while I

was talking to him on ICQ.

" They would NEVER ticket a student with a

mental/physical handicap -- yet

they continually do this to -- doesn't he

get SSI for it? -- That's

my brainstorm " . He also said " but

it's still a " mental " disorder and where

he may handle himself 9 times ok-- the 10th might

be the melt-down, if the

situation has never presented it to him-- other

times he may go 99 times

then it's the straw that broke the camels back --

trouble is, the " adults "

that should know better get in his face and make

the entire situation

worse. " and " does the person who took

his seat have any consequences -- heck

no, probably a model student, but if that was

who took someone elses

seat, and replied, as I could see him

doing, it's an open cafeteria,

I can sit anywhere I want -- would be asked

to move, and be

disorderly for that situation -- It's a no win

situation, and again the

" adults " at the school need to see that

-- if they ever could look at it

from a kids point of view, with or without a

disability. "

I feel that isn't a bad kid,

isn't a delinquent kid ... he is a

kid for whom some of the time, the world is a

baffling place. and his

reactions may not be what other people expect.

Would any of you who have an idea or an insight,

please let me know them....

even if you have nothing more to say than " I

know how you feel. " I am open

to any and all comments.

Thanks

_________________________________________________________________

Learn how to choose, serve, and enjoy wine at Wine

@ MSN.

http://wine.msn.com/

Yahoo!

Groups Links

·

To visit your group on the

web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/autism-aspergers/

·

[Guest guest]

Hi …

Your sounds a lot like my daughter….at home. Because

she has social anxiety, outside of home, MOST of the time, she doesn’t

allow herself to lose it completely. (Usually.) She just can’t handle things not

going her way….

I think the therapist is an excellent idea…and regularly

scheduled meetings would be good too if you can swing it. We see ours every 3

weeks and have for 5 years. He’s a rock in our lives…always there

to bounce things off for us as parents, and there to help guide Beth through

the rough twists and turns in life, too. He’s represented us at IEP

meetings several times as well. He understands Beth. So few do, it’s

wonderful to have someone who really does!!

And then there are the meds. They are so important. I’d

definitely talk to the dr about them, explaining just

what you’ve told us. Anti-anxiety meds can help so much. My daughter is

on neurontin and serequel….they

do help her take the edge off, at least. She’s still very anxious and has

her obsessions, no patience, ego-centric, etc. But really, they do help!!! LOL

Hang in there Steph. You’ve got

your hands full.

Maralee

RE:

two steps forward, one step back

Well ... the old two steps forward one step back has

returned.

Last week was being praised for keeping it

together, pretty much,

after someone stole his Yu-Gi-Oh deck box and

about $100 worth of cards from

him during lunch. He threw his book bag, hit

a door on his way out of the

lunchroom and went on to his next period class

where his resource teacher

said that even though it was a struggle, he was

staying fairly much

together. I chose to take him home thought

because when he called me he was

trying so hard to keep from crying and I did not

want him teased should he

break down. It ended up being the right

choice, as after he got home he had

a good long cry and got very depressed that he had

lost the cards that I had

spent money on that very morning.

He also received praise for pulling his grades up

by the semester end (from

F's - due to missing much school because of

his migraines- to C's and

C+'s.) The weekend went very well.

There had been much improvement since

his sister moved out in his behaviors at

home.

This morning I received a call at work that he had

had another meltdown in

the lunchroom. He had again thrown his

bookbag and was cussing profusely.

The reason? He had gotten up from his

table to take his tray back and

returned to the table to find it occuppied by a

buch of girls. He asked

them to move and they told him they would

not. He began to obsess about it

" It's my seat, I want my seat "

over and over, the more he obsessed the angrier he

got. (this is a kid who

has one or two seats that he ever sits at.

This is his routine and he

doesn't deviate from it.) When asked by the

principal to go to the office

(more as a distraction than a punishment according

to the associate

principal (not the same one as before - there are

two) he refused,

continuing to escalate to the point where they

physically carried hiim out

of the lunchroom. Once they got him to the

school liaison officer's office,

he curled up into a ball on the couch, turned up

his headphones to his CD

player full blast and began to read (obviously

trying to isolate himself so

he could try to de-escalate himself). Everytime

they tried to pull him back

to the present and back to the issue at hand, he'd

start escalating again.

To make a long story short, he received a

disorderly conduct ticket and a

two day suspension.

I have a meeting with his med doc tomorrow to see

if he wants to implement a

med change he suggested in early December to help

with his OCD (which seems

to have steadily gotten worse since before the

holidays - not so much at

home, but definitely at school). One of his

teachers wonders if this newest

one is as the result of the additional stress from

adding another class.

The last big meltdown was two days after starting

the last new class.

I am also seeing if he can get in to see his

therapist. Although this may

not be possible - he's booked up until March

12. He's also a House

Representative for our state ... so he has

his handles full with trying to

balance his schedules. We may have to find

another therapist .. .although

Mark is so wonderful, I hate to do that.

We have a meeting with the school principal, the

liaison officer, the

resource room teacher, our district's Director of

Special Services, and

other parties that may have an interest on

Thursday morning before they will

allow him back in. I want to compile

some information about his diagnoses

.... to refresh their memories - as there are 1300

kids in this high school.

's dad made a very astute comment while I

was talking to him on ICQ.

" They would NEVER ticket a student with a

mental/physical handicap -- yet

they continually do this to -- doesn't he

get SSI for it? -- That's

my brainstorm " . He also said " but

it's still a " mental " disorder and where

he may handle himself 9 times ok-- the 10th might

be the melt-down, if the

situation has never presented it to him-- other

times he may go 99 times

then it's the straw that broke the camels back --

trouble is, the " adults "

that should know better get in his face and make

the entire situation

worse. " and " does the person who took

his seat have any consequences -- heck

no, probably a model student, but if that was

who took someone elses

seat, and replied, as I could see him

doing, it's an open cafeteria,

I can sit anywhere I want -- would be asked

to move, and be

disorderly for that situation -- It's a no win

situation, and again the

" adults " at the school need to see that

-- if they ever could look at it

from a kids point of view, with or without a

disability. "

I feel that isn't a bad kid,

isn't a delinquent kid ... he is a

kid for whom some of the time, the world is a

baffling place. and his

reactions may not be what other people expect.

Would any of you who have an idea or an insight,

please let me know them....

even if you have nothing more to say than " I

know how you feel. " I am open

to any and all comments.

Thanks

_________________________________________________________________

Learn how to choose, serve, and enjoy wine at Wine

@ MSN.

http://wine.msn.com/

Yahoo!

Groups Links

·

To visit your group on the

web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/autism-aspergers/

·

[Guest guest]

Hi …

Your sounds a lot like my daughter….at home. Because

she has social anxiety, outside of home, MOST of the time, she doesn’t

allow herself to lose it completely. (Usually.) She just can’t handle things not

going her way….

I think the therapist is an excellent idea…and regularly

scheduled meetings would be good too if you can swing it. We see ours every 3

weeks and have for 5 years. He’s a rock in our lives…always there

to bounce things off for us as parents, and there to help guide Beth through

the rough twists and turns in life, too. He’s represented us at IEP

meetings several times as well. He understands Beth. So few do, it’s

wonderful to have someone who really does!!

And then there are the meds. They are so important. I’d

definitely talk to the dr about them, explaining just

what you’ve told us. Anti-anxiety meds can help so much. My daughter is

on neurontin and serequel….they

do help her take the edge off, at least. She’s still very anxious and has

her obsessions, no patience, ego-centric, etc. But really, they do help!!! LOL

Hang in there Steph. You’ve got

your hands full.

Maralee

RE:

two steps forward, one step back

Well ... the old two steps forward one step back has

returned.

Last week was being praised for keeping it

together, pretty much,

after someone stole his Yu-Gi-Oh deck box and

about $100 worth of cards from

him during lunch. He threw his book bag, hit

a door on his way out of the

lunchroom and went on to his next period class

where his resource teacher

said that even though it was a struggle, he was

staying fairly much

together. I chose to take him home thought

because when he called me he was

trying so hard to keep from crying and I did not

want him teased should he

break down. It ended up being the right

choice, as after he got home he had

a good long cry and got very depressed that he had

lost the cards that I had

spent money on that very morning.

He also received praise for pulling his grades up

by the semester end (from

F's - due to missing much school because of

his migraines- to C's and

C+'s.) The weekend went very well.

There had been much improvement since

his sister moved out in his behaviors at

home.

This morning I received a call at work that he had

had another meltdown in

the lunchroom. He had again thrown his

bookbag and was cussing profusely.

The reason? He had gotten up from his

table to take his tray back and

returned to the table to find it occuppied by a

buch of girls. He asked

them to move and they told him they would

not. He began to obsess about it

" It's my seat, I want my seat "

over and over, the more he obsessed the angrier he

got. (this is a kid who

has one or two seats that he ever sits at.

This is his routine and he

doesn't deviate from it.) When asked by the

principal to go to the office

(more as a distraction than a punishment according

to the associate

principal (not the same one as before - there are

two) he refused,

continuing to escalate to the point where they

physically carried hiim out

of the lunchroom. Once they got him to the

school liaison officer's office,

he curled up into a ball on the couch, turned up

his headphones to his CD

player full blast and began to read (obviously

trying to isolate himself so

he could try to de-escalate himself). Everytime

they tried to pull him back

to the present and back to the issue at hand, he'd

start escalating again.

To make a long story short, he received a

disorderly conduct ticket and a

two day suspension.

I have a meeting with his med doc tomorrow to see

if he wants to implement a

med change he suggested in early December to help

with his OCD (which seems

to have steadily gotten worse since before the

holidays - not so much at

home, but definitely at school). One of his

teachers wonders if this newest

one is as the result of the additional stress from

adding another class.

The last big meltdown was two days after starting

the last new class.

I am also seeing if he can get in to see his

therapist. Although this may

not be possible - he's booked up until March

12. He's also a House

Representative for our state ... so he has

his handles full with trying to

balance his schedules. We may have to find

another therapist .. .although

Mark is so wonderful, I hate to do that.

We have a meeting with the school principal, the

liaison officer, the

resource room teacher, our district's Director of

Special Services, and

other parties that may have an interest on

Thursday morning before they will

allow him back in. I want to compile

some information about his diagnoses

.... to refresh their memories - as there are 1300

kids in this high school.

's dad made a very astute comment while I

was talking to him on ICQ.

" They would NEVER ticket a student with a

mental/physical handicap -- yet

they continually do this to -- doesn't he

get SSI for it? -- That's

my brainstorm " . He also said " but

it's still a " mental " disorder and where

he may handle himself 9 times ok-- the 10th might

be the melt-down, if the

situation has never presented it to him-- other

times he may go 99 times

then it's the straw that broke the camels back --

trouble is, the " adults "

that should know better get in his face and make

the entire situation

worse. " and " does the person who took

his seat have any consequences -- heck

no, probably a model student, but if that was

who took someone elses

seat, and replied, as I could see him

doing, it's an open cafeteria,

I can sit anywhere I want -- would be asked

to move, and be

disorderly for that situation -- It's a no win

situation, and again the

" adults " at the school need to see that

-- if they ever could look at it

from a kids point of view, with or without a

disability. "

I feel that isn't a bad kid,

isn't a delinquent kid ... he is a

kid for whom some of the time, the world is a

baffling place. and his

reactions may not be what other people expect.

Would any of you who have an idea or an insight,

please let me know them....

even if you have nothing more to say than " I

know how you feel. " I am open

to any and all comments.

Thanks

_________________________________________________________________

Learn how to choose, serve, and enjoy wine at Wine

@ MSN.

http://wine.msn.com/

Yahoo!

Groups Links

·

To visit your group on the

web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/autism-aspergers/

·