Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Hi , I’m not sure how old your son is, but have you tried social stories? Since he’s obviously very ‘rule bound’ you might try letting him in on the ‘rules’ of conversing with grandpa. I have a great link to social stories, http://www.thegraycenter.org/writing_social_stories.htm .. Go over every possible ‘pet name’ that Grandpa may use and give it your personal OK. Try this one…it is a story written specifically for this type of situation. http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/language/nicknames.html Target audience This story could be used with students of any age. It might be used with kids who either do not respond or who become confused or agitated when people call them something other than the name they typically use. The reading level is around first or second grade. The story Sometimes, people use fun or silly names for other people that they care about. Friends might call other friends " Pal " or " Buddy. " If I say something silly Dad might call me " Wise Guy. " Mom sometimes calls my sister " Love " or " Sweetheart " and she sometimes calls me " Goof-ball " and " Sweety. " All these names are nicknames, fun and silly names for people you care about. From: Rhind Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 12:24 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Emotions and Names Hi Everyone, I just got an heartfelt cry for help from my dad when it comes to realating to my son. I feel for him as he finds it hard and fustrating dealing with him because he was brought up in a time when children were taught to be brought up in a certain manner. He can't let go of this when it comes to my son, I can understand as it has taken my husband and I a while to move beyond that mindset too. My Dad is concerned because sometimes he will call my son sir or big boy and my son yells back at him and tells him that this is not his name. He doesn't understand that my dad only calls him this out of signs of respect and affection. For example if Logan gets my Dad something or does something that he has asked him to do my dad will say to him " Thank you very much sir. " Well apparently my son goes balistic telling him that isn't his name and that he has hurt his feelings which then my dad gets his back up and is hurt and angry about it. I have suggested to my dad that he sit down with my son and explain to him why he would like to call him which ever name that they decide on and to explain that its not to hurt his feelings but its a sign of his affection and love for my son. I am just wondering if any one else in the group have this problem and how they have sloved it as my dad isn't the only one he does this to. He also does this to me also. Sorry that this is so long I am just not sure how to handle this and would like to help my son and dad overcome this obstacle as its ont often that my dad asks for help and shows his emotions. Thanks everone you suggestions are always a great comfort. in Ajax _________________________________________________________________ Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/bcomm & pgmarket=en-ca & RU=http%3a%2f%2fjoin.msn.com%2f%3fpage%3dmisc%2fspecialoffers%26pgmarket%3den-ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Hi , I’m not sure how old your son is, but have you tried social stories? Since he’s obviously very ‘rule bound’ you might try letting him in on the ‘rules’ of conversing with grandpa. I have a great link to social stories, http://www.thegraycenter.org/writing_social_stories.htm .. Go over every possible ‘pet name’ that Grandpa may use and give it your personal OK. Try this one…it is a story written specifically for this type of situation. http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/language/nicknames.html Target audience This story could be used with students of any age. It might be used with kids who either do not respond or who become confused or agitated when people call them something other than the name they typically use. The reading level is around first or second grade. The story Sometimes, people use fun or silly names for other people that they care about. Friends might call other friends " Pal " or " Buddy. " If I say something silly Dad might call me " Wise Guy. " Mom sometimes calls my sister " Love " or " Sweetheart " and she sometimes calls me " Goof-ball " and " Sweety. " All these names are nicknames, fun and silly names for people you care about. From: Rhind Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 12:24 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Emotions and Names Hi Everyone, I just got an heartfelt cry for help from my dad when it comes to realating to my son. I feel for him as he finds it hard and fustrating dealing with him because he was brought up in a time when children were taught to be brought up in a certain manner. He can't let go of this when it comes to my son, I can understand as it has taken my husband and I a while to move beyond that mindset too. My Dad is concerned because sometimes he will call my son sir or big boy and my son yells back at him and tells him that this is not his name. He doesn't understand that my dad only calls him this out of signs of respect and affection. For example if Logan gets my Dad something or does something that he has asked him to do my dad will say to him " Thank you very much sir. " Well apparently my son goes balistic telling him that isn't his name and that he has hurt his feelings which then my dad gets his back up and is hurt and angry about it. I have suggested to my dad that he sit down with my son and explain to him why he would like to call him which ever name that they decide on and to explain that its not to hurt his feelings but its a sign of his affection and love for my son. I am just wondering if any one else in the group have this problem and how they have sloved it as my dad isn't the only one he does this to. He also does this to me also. Sorry that this is so long I am just not sure how to handle this and would like to help my son and dad overcome this obstacle as its ont often that my dad asks for help and shows his emotions. Thanks everone you suggestions are always a great comfort. in Ajax _________________________________________________________________ Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/bcomm & pgmarket=en-ca & RU=http%3a%2f%2fjoin.msn.com%2f%3fpage%3dmisc%2fspecialoffers%26pgmarket%3den-ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Hi , I’m not sure how old your son is, but have you tried social stories? Since he’s obviously very ‘rule bound’ you might try letting him in on the ‘rules’ of conversing with grandpa. I have a great link to social stories, http://www.thegraycenter.org/writing_social_stories.htm .. Go over every possible ‘pet name’ that Grandpa may use and give it your personal OK. Try this one…it is a story written specifically for this type of situation. http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/language/nicknames.html Target audience This story could be used with students of any age. It might be used with kids who either do not respond or who become confused or agitated when people call them something other than the name they typically use. The reading level is around first or second grade. The story Sometimes, people use fun or silly names for other people that they care about. Friends might call other friends " Pal " or " Buddy. " If I say something silly Dad might call me " Wise Guy. " Mom sometimes calls my sister " Love " or " Sweetheart " and she sometimes calls me " Goof-ball " and " Sweety. " All these names are nicknames, fun and silly names for people you care about. From: Rhind Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 12:24 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Emotions and Names Hi Everyone, I just got an heartfelt cry for help from my dad when it comes to realating to my son. I feel for him as he finds it hard and fustrating dealing with him because he was brought up in a time when children were taught to be brought up in a certain manner. He can't let go of this when it comes to my son, I can understand as it has taken my husband and I a while to move beyond that mindset too. My Dad is concerned because sometimes he will call my son sir or big boy and my son yells back at him and tells him that this is not his name. He doesn't understand that my dad only calls him this out of signs of respect and affection. For example if Logan gets my Dad something or does something that he has asked him to do my dad will say to him " Thank you very much sir. " Well apparently my son goes balistic telling him that isn't his name and that he has hurt his feelings which then my dad gets his back up and is hurt and angry about it. I have suggested to my dad that he sit down with my son and explain to him why he would like to call him which ever name that they decide on and to explain that its not to hurt his feelings but its a sign of his affection and love for my son. I am just wondering if any one else in the group have this problem and how they have sloved it as my dad isn't the only one he does this to. He also does this to me also. Sorry that this is so long I am just not sure how to handle this and would like to help my son and dad overcome this obstacle as its ont often that my dad asks for help and shows his emotions. Thanks everone you suggestions are always a great comfort. in Ajax _________________________________________________________________ Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/bcomm & pgmarket=en-ca & RU=http%3a%2f%2fjoin.msn.com%2f%3fpage%3dmisc%2fspecialoffers%26pgmarket%3den-ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Thats a really interesting topic, thanks! I must ask Colleagues if they have ever had this problem. Xenia At 11:30 AM 1/27/04, you wrote: Hi , I m not sure how old your son is, but have you tried social stories? Since he s obviously very rule bound you might try letting him in on the rules of conversing with grandpa. I have a great link to social stories, http://www.thegraycenter.org/writing_social_stories.htm .. Go over every possible pet name that Grandpa may use and give it your personal OK. Try this one & it is a story written specifically for this type of situation. http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/language/nicknames.html Target audience This story could be used with students of any age. It might be used with kids who either do not respond or who become confused or agitated when people call them something other than the name they typically use. The reading level is around first or second grade. The story Sometimes, people use fun or silly names for other people that they care about. Friends might call other friends " Pal " or " Buddy. " If I say something silly Dad might call me " Wise Guy. " Mom sometimes calls my sister " Love " or " Sweetheart " and she sometimes calls me " Goof-ball " and " Sweety. " All these names are nicknames, fun and silly names for people you care about. From: Rhind Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 12:24 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Emotions and Names Hi Everyone, I just got an heartfelt cry for help from my dad when it comes to realating to my son. I feel for him as he finds it hard and fustrating dealing with him because he was brought up in a time when children were taught to be brought up in a certain manner. He can't let go of this when it comes to my son, I can understand as it has taken my husband and I a while to move beyond that mindset too. My Dad is concerned because sometimes he will call my son sir or big boy and my son yells back at him and tells him that this is not his name. He doesn't understand that my dad only calls him this out of signs of respect and affection. For example if Logan gets my Dad something or does something that he has asked him to do my dad will say to him " Thank you very much sir. " Well apparently my son goes balistic telling him that isn't his name and that he has hurt his feelings which then my dad gets his back up and is hurt and angry about it. I have suggested to my dad that he sit down with my son and explain to him why he would like to call him which ever name that they decide on and to explain that its not to hurt his feelings but its a sign of his affection and love for my son. I am just wondering if any one else in the group have this problem and how they have sloved it as my dad isn't the only one he does this to. He also does this to me also. Sorry that this is so long I am just not sure how to handle this and would like to help my son and dad overcome this obstacle as its ont often that my dad asks for help and shows his emotions. Thanks everone you suggestions are always a great comfort. in Ajax _________________________________________________________________ Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/bcomm & pgmarket=en-ca & RU=http%3a%2f%2fjoin.msn.com%2f%3fpage%3dmisc%2fspecialoffers%26pgmarket%3den-ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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