Am feeling better..

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your kind and loving words- they were much needed.

I have felt a lot better today than I was feeling last night; the

rash seems to be going away except under my upper arms, which as long

as it is going away I am happy. I am not even sure if it is " the "

rash. I went to the doc today- my PCP- first time I have seen him

since the hospital- he says according to my bloodwork that my disease

is " under control " so I asked why then do I feel so bad all the time,

and why am I feeling worse now that I am decreasing prednisone? His

answer: the prednisone. So, if the prednisone is causing all of my

problems including the knee pain/weakness, arm pain/weakness, neck

pain, etc, etc, what am I taking it for? He said all of my symptoms

now are coming from the prednisone. This does not make any sense to

me- I know swelling and some other side effects are from the pred.

but the knees, arms, neck, etc have hurt since onset before the

prednisone ever came into the picture. I am really beginning to think

that neither of my doc's understand WHAT is going on with my body!!!!

He did give me some anti-biotics though- the left side of my face,

neck and head are more swollen than the right and have been bothering

me since a few days ago- gets worse at night- so there is the

possibility of a sinus thing going on. Maybe this med will kick that

out and I will have one less thing to gripe about. Gosh, I get so

sick of having nothing else to talk about besides what is wrong with

my body. I will be so glad to see the day when I am all well and

normal again like everyone keeps saying I will be. I am having a

really hard time believing it at this point- can you all tell? I am

back and forth between self- pity and extreme anger and fear at the

whole situation. And one of the most frustrating things is not

knowing for sure if your doc's know what the heck they are doing. I

don't know whether to take their word for it, or seek a second

opinion from somewhere like the Mayo Clinic. Of course, after reading

Connie's horror story about her trip to Mayo- I don't wanna do that

either.

Oh well- another day- another page in the book of my life story.

Yall try not to feel too sorry for me, I am doing pretty good at that

myself right now. Marty, I sure could use some of your humor right

now- how bout sending some my way?

Love and hugs to everyone out there- I hope you are all having a

great day and I haven't ruined it.

Love, Traci