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Re: Digest Number 1220

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I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much as

my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows many

AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and say

yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

rages.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent him to

school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in mid

November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections since

mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with the

headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to school

and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he could

see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of a

dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to wear

hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can identify

a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his eyes

hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called the

associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he again

refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said that I

would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount of

time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and wait

for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the door

out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in the

office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home until

after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed his

index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering and

crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to calm

him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal that

I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on Friday

after Thanksgiving.

I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in a

dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four hours.

He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor gives

him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in his

left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that Thursday.

Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments and

has already missed two days of this week.

Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

“I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

reported to me that student was in the nurse’s office, that he was

belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

into the nurse’s office with his hood up. The nurse’s assistant, reminded

him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with the

request.

She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was sitting

calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude and

demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately 10-12

feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt to

diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point and

time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in the

office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his tirade

and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute. He

then decided he was going to leave the nurse’s office. He stood up and

announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office, since

his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues at

hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway. He

went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up towards

me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return to

his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

profane outburst. The nurse’s assistant worked to clear the other students

from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him that

his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would hurt

me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area twice.

He stated, ”There, that’s an assault.”

I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space. He

chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to pull

him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and again

attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then restrained

his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student was

told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control of

himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to the

nurse’s area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and kicked a

chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any property

he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse’s area.

At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and called

for a backup officer.

Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able to

calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he was

going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on the

adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When he

did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate in

attempt to engage the adults around him.

I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away as

a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. “

When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to remove

his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

that he shouldn’t have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much pain

he was in.

I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I understand

him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe migraines I

can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see me

getting defensive and arguing. In fact I’m sure I have.

I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge in

September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school last

December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during an

OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one charge

brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see the

Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer who

issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able to

get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe migraines,

but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his entire

life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be 14,

but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level. He

opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding out,

it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school and

I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the Friday

before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could see

Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors, they

decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually create

problems for my son)

Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can take

with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the norm

for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about social

skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In unguarded

moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The very

concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified about

what Friday will bring.

Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any and

all insights you may have.

Steph

_________________________________________________________________

Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run the

FREE McAfee online computer scan!

http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

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Share on other sites

I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much as

my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows many

AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and say

yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

rages.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent him to

school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in mid

November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections since

mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with the

headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to school

and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he could

see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of a

dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to wear

hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can identify

a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his eyes

hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called the

associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he again

refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said that I

would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount of

time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and wait

for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the door

out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in the

office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home until

after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed his

index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering and

crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to calm

him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal that

I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on Friday

after Thanksgiving.

I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in a

dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four hours.

He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor gives

him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in his

left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that Thursday.

Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments and

has already missed two days of this week.

Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

“I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

reported to me that student was in the nurse’s office, that he was

belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

into the nurse’s office with his hood up. The nurse’s assistant, reminded

him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with the

request.

She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was sitting

calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude and

demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately 10-12

feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt to

diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point and

time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in the

office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his tirade

and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute. He

then decided he was going to leave the nurse’s office. He stood up and

announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office, since

his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues at

hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway. He

went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up towards

me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return to

his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

profane outburst. The nurse’s assistant worked to clear the other students

from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him that

his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would hurt

me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area twice.

He stated, ”There, that’s an assault.”

I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space. He

chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to pull

him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and again

attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then restrained

his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student was

told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control of

himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to the

nurse’s area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and kicked a

chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any property

he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse’s area.

At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and called

for a backup officer.

Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able to

calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he was

going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on the

adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When he

did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate in

attempt to engage the adults around him.

I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away as

a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. “

When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to remove

his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

that he shouldn’t have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much pain

he was in.

I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I understand

him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe migraines I

can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see me

getting defensive and arguing. In fact I’m sure I have.

I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge in

September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school last

December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during an

OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one charge

brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see the

Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer who

issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able to

get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe migraines,

but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his entire

life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be 14,

but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level. He

opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding out,

it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school and

I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the Friday

before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could see

Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors, they

decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually create

problems for my son)

Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can take

with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the norm

for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about social

skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In unguarded

moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The very

concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified about

what Friday will bring.

Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any and

all insights you may have.

Steph

_________________________________________________________________

Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run the

FREE McAfee online computer scan!

http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HI ,

I just joined this group a few weeks ago and am also a lurker, I am on

quite a few other Autistic Support Groups and have heard about the same

story as you are telling about your son. Have you ever had your son to a

Neurologist? Your son sounds AS to me. I can't believe no Dr. has given him

a diagnosis.

If you are able, I would pull him out of that school asap if that is

possible. If you are able to teach at home their are Cyber Charter Schools

or you could home school. I am in PA and we have an excellent Cyber Charter

School here and they really care about your children and how they learn.

Where are you at? It is not as hard as it sounds after you get used to it.

There are teachers that you can e mail or call at anytime to ask questions

and they really care.

If you have any questions that I might be able to answer don't

hesitate to e mail me.

Sally in PA - USA

RE: Digest Number 1220

> I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much

as

> my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows

many

> AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and

say

> yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

> rages.

>

> Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent

him to

> school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in

mid

> November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

> cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections

since

> mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with

the

> headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

>

> He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to

school

> and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he

could

> see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of

a

> dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

> demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to

wear

> hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can

identify

> a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his

eyes

> hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called

the

> associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he

again

> refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said

that I

> would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount

of

> time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and

wait

> for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the

door

> out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in

the

> office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home

until

> after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed

his

> index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

> leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

> committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

> assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering

and

> crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to

calm

> him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal

that

> I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on

Friday

> after Thanksgiving.

>

> I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in

a

> dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four

hours.

> He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor

gives

> him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

> problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in

his

> left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

> Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

> benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that

Thursday.

> Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

> preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments

and

> has already missed two days of this week.

>

> Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

>

> " I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

> reported to me that student was in the nurse's office, that he was

> belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

> into the nurse's office with his hood up. The nurse's assistant,

reminded

> him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

> Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with

the

> request.

>

> She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was

sitting

> calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude

and

> demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately

10-12

> feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

> remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

>

> I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

> hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

> interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

> appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

> quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt

to

> diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point

and

> time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in

the

> office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

> approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

> reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his

tirade

> and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute.

He

> then decided he was going to leave the nurse's office. He stood up and

> announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office,

since

> his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues

at

> hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway.

He

> went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

>

> II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up

towards

> me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return

to

> his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

> profane outburst. The nurse's assistant worked to clear the other

students

> from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

> others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him

that

> his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would

hurt

> me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area

twice.

> He stated, " There, that's an assault. "

>

> I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space.

He

> chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

> multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

> arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

> return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

> direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to

pull

> him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and

again

> attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then

restrained

> his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student

was

> told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control

of

> himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to

the

> nurse's area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and

kicked a

> chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any

property

> he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

> restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

> de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse's area.

>

> At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

> officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

> interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and

called

> for a backup officer.

>

> Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

> behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

> imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able

to

> calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he

was

> going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

> aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

> escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on

the

> adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When

he

> did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate

in

> attempt to engage the adults around him.

>

> I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

> appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

> dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

> throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away

as

> a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. "

>

> When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to

remove

> his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

> that he shouldn't have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

> happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much

pain

> he was in.

>

> I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I

understand

> him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe

migraines I

> can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see

me

> getting defensive and arguing. In fact I'm sure I have.

>

> I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge

in

> September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school

last

> December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during

an

> OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one

charge

> brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see

the

> Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

> disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer

who

> issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able

to

> get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe

migraines,

> but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

> a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

>

> This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

> socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his

entire

> life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be

14,

> but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level.

He

> opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding

out,

> it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school

and

> I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the

Friday

> before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could

see

> Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

> psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors,

they

> decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually

create

> problems for my son)

>

> Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can

take

> with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

> explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the

norm

> for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about

social

> skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

> nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In

unguarded

> moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The

very

> concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified

about

> what Friday will bring.

>

> Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any

and

> all insights you may have.

>

> Steph

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run

the

> FREE McAfee online computer scan!

> http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

>

>

>

>

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HI ,

I just joined this group a few weeks ago and am also a lurker, I am on

quite a few other Autistic Support Groups and have heard about the same

story as you are telling about your son. Have you ever had your son to a

Neurologist? Your son sounds AS to me. I can't believe no Dr. has given him

a diagnosis.

If you are able, I would pull him out of that school asap if that is

possible. If you are able to teach at home their are Cyber Charter Schools

or you could home school. I am in PA and we have an excellent Cyber Charter

School here and they really care about your children and how they learn.

Where are you at? It is not as hard as it sounds after you get used to it.

There are teachers that you can e mail or call at anytime to ask questions

and they really care.

If you have any questions that I might be able to answer don't

hesitate to e mail me.

Sally in PA - USA

RE: Digest Number 1220

> I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much

as

> my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows

many

> AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and

say

> yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

> rages.

>

> Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent

him to

> school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in

mid

> November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

> cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections

since

> mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with

the

> headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

>

> He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to

school

> and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he

could

> see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of

a

> dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

> demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to

wear

> hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can

identify

> a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his

eyes

> hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called

the

> associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he

again

> refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said

that I

> would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount

of

> time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and

wait

> for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the

door

> out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in

the

> office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home

until

> after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed

his

> index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

> leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

> committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

> assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering

and

> crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to

calm

> him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal

that

> I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on

Friday

> after Thanksgiving.

>

> I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in

a

> dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four

hours.

> He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor

gives

> him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

> problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in

his

> left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

> Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

> benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that

Thursday.

> Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

> preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments

and

> has already missed two days of this week.

>

> Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

>

> " I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

> reported to me that student was in the nurse's office, that he was

> belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

> into the nurse's office with his hood up. The nurse's assistant,

reminded

> him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

> Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with

the

> request.

>

> She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was

sitting

> calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude

and

> demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately

10-12

> feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

> remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

>

> I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

> hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

> interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

> appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

> quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt

to

> diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point

and

> time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in

the

> office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

> approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

> reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his

tirade

> and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute.

He

> then decided he was going to leave the nurse's office. He stood up and

> announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office,

since

> his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues

at

> hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway.

He

> went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

>

> II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up

towards

> me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return

to

> his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

> profane outburst. The nurse's assistant worked to clear the other

students

> from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

> others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him

that

> his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would

hurt

> me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area

twice.

> He stated, " There, that's an assault. "

>

> I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space.

He

> chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

> multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

> arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

> return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

> direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to

pull

> him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and

again

> attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then

restrained

> his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student

was

> told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control

of

> himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to

the

> nurse's area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and

kicked a

> chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any

property

> he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

> restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

> de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse's area.

>

> At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

> officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

> interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and

called

> for a backup officer.

>

> Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

> behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

> imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able

to

> calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he

was

> going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

> aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

> escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on

the

> adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When

he

> did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate

in

> attempt to engage the adults around him.

>

> I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

> appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

> dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

> throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away

as

> a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. "

>

> When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to

remove

> his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

> that he shouldn't have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

> happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much

pain

> he was in.

>

> I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I

understand

> him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe

migraines I

> can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see

me

> getting defensive and arguing. In fact I'm sure I have.

>

> I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge

in

> September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school

last

> December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during

an

> OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one

charge

> brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see

the

> Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

> disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer

who

> issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able

to

> get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe

migraines,

> but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

> a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

>

> This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

> socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his

entire

> life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be

14,

> but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level.

He

> opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding

out,

> it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school

and

> I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the

Friday

> before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could

see

> Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

> psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors,

they

> decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually

create

> problems for my son)

>

> Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can

take

> with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

> explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the

norm

> for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about

social

> skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

> nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In

unguarded

> moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The

very

> concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified

about

> what Friday will bring.

>

> Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any

and

> all insights you may have.

>

> Steph

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run

the

> FREE McAfee online computer scan!

> http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

>

>

>

>

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Share on other sites

We too are battling to get our son (8) diagnosed with Aspergers and have

also been given labels of PDD, dyspraxia, ADD, etc.

When I was in 5th and 6th grade I suffered from the same type of headaches.

In fact, I would lose sight in one eye during the episodes and had to sit in

a dark room for several hours before the pain would subside. It allowed me

to develop a form of self medication through bio-feedback where I could

force myself into an almost catatonic stupor so that no involuntary muscle

movements would trigger a rush of pain, very much like a sensory deprivation

tank.

Some of the literature I have read recently may link sever reoccurring

migraines to a lack or deficiency of magnesium. You may try to add a

supplement to his diet to see if it works. Check with the local vitamin

store about the best type to buy, magnesium is like calcium in that it must

be in the proper form to be effectively absorbed. Calcium is also suspect

in migraines and there are many supplements for women that combine calcium,

magnesium, and boron for osteoporosis. This could be a worthwhile item to

research. Food, chemical, and environmental allergies also cause migraines.

Bleach and gasoline odors caused me to get migraines as well as MSG. You

may want to have him tested for allergies. My headaches eventually stopped

on their own by about the 7th grade but I do suffer from mostly migraines

now (25 years later) when I do get a headache. The doctors never had an

answer.

If your son has been diagnosed with chronic or persistent migraine

headaches, you may be able to have him obtain protection through the

Americans with Disability Act. Or, it may be possible to leverage some

additional accommodations in school by contacting OSHA (Occupational Safety

& Health Administration). Although they primarily are involved with

protecting employee safety, the fact that the school is denying your son

with specific accommodations for a medical condition could be construed as

an aggravating factor in making the condition worse. The school should be

held to the same standard as an employer to make sure that the workplace is

safe. If the school district and the law demands that he be there, they

cannot create a negative environment and then force him to comply. I temper

this with the opposite view that schools are too overstrained to be

considered with " headache proofing " an entire building for one child. My

wife is a teacher and one mother complained so vigorously about her

daughters allergies that the school was forbidden to paint the rooms, use

permanent markers, use certain hand soaps or cleaners, the teachers could

not wear perfume, and a whole lot of other wacky restrictions that were

enforced on teachers who never even came into contact with this girl.

RE: Digest Number 1220

> I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much

as

> my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows many

> AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and say

> yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

> rages.

>

> Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent him

to

> school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in mid

> November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

> cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections

since

> mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with

the

> headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

>

> He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to

school

> and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he

could

> see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of a

> dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

> demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to

wear

> hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can

identify

> a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his

eyes

> hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called

the

> associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he

again

> refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said that

I

> would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount

of

> time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and

wait

> for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the door

> out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in the

> office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home

until

> after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed his

> index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

> leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

> committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

> assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering

and

> crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to calm

> him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal

that

> I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on

Friday

> after Thanksgiving.

>

> I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in a

> dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four

hours.

> He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor

gives

> him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

> problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in

his

> left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

> Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

> benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that Thursday.

> Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

> preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments and

> has already missed two days of this week.

>

> Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

>

> " I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

> reported to me that student was in the nurse's office, that he was

> belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

> into the nurse's office with his hood up. The nurse's assistant, reminded

> him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

> Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with

the

> request.

>

> She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was sitting

> calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude

and

> demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately 10-12

> feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

> remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

>

> I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

> hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

> interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

> appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

> quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt to

> diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point

and

> time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in

the

> office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

> approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

> reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his tirade

> and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute. He

> then decided he was going to leave the nurse's office. He stood up and

> announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office,

since

> his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues

at

> hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway. He

> went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

>

> II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up

towards

> me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return to

> his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

> profane outburst. The nurse's assistant worked to clear the other

students

> from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

> others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him that

> his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would hurt

> me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area twice.

> He stated, " There, that's an assault. "

>

> I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space. He

> chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

> multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

> arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

> return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

> direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to

pull

> him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and

again

> attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then

restrained

> his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student

was

> told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control of

> himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to the

> nurse's area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and kicked

a

> chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any

property

> he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

> restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

> de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse's area.

>

> At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

> officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

> interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and

called

> for a backup officer.

>

> Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

> behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

> imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able to

> calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he was

> going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

> aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

> escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on the

> adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When

he

> did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate in

> attempt to engage the adults around him.

>

> I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

> appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

> dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

> throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away

as

> a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. "

>

> When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to remove

> his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

> that he shouldn't have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

> happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much pain

> he was in.

>

> I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I

understand

> him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe migraines

I

> can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see

me

> getting defensive and arguing. In fact I'm sure I have.

>

> I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge

in

> September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school last

> December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during an

> OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one charge

> brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see

the

> Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

> disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer who

> issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able to

> get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe migraines,

> but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

> a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

>

> This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

> socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his

entire

> life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be

14,

> but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level. He

> opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding

out,

> it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school

and

> I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the

Friday

> before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could

see

> Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

> psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors,

they

> decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually

create

> problems for my son)

>

> Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can take

> with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

> explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the norm

> for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about social

> skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

> nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In

unguarded

> moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The very

> concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified about

> what Friday will bring.

>

> Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any

and

> all insights you may have.

>

> Steph

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run the

> FREE McAfee online computer scan!

> http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

>

>

>

>

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We too are battling to get our son (8) diagnosed with Aspergers and have

also been given labels of PDD, dyspraxia, ADD, etc.

When I was in 5th and 6th grade I suffered from the same type of headaches.

In fact, I would lose sight in one eye during the episodes and had to sit in

a dark room for several hours before the pain would subside. It allowed me

to develop a form of self medication through bio-feedback where I could

force myself into an almost catatonic stupor so that no involuntary muscle

movements would trigger a rush of pain, very much like a sensory deprivation

tank.

Some of the literature I have read recently may link sever reoccurring

migraines to a lack or deficiency of magnesium. You may try to add a

supplement to his diet to see if it works. Check with the local vitamin

store about the best type to buy, magnesium is like calcium in that it must

be in the proper form to be effectively absorbed. Calcium is also suspect

in migraines and there are many supplements for women that combine calcium,

magnesium, and boron for osteoporosis. This could be a worthwhile item to

research. Food, chemical, and environmental allergies also cause migraines.

Bleach and gasoline odors caused me to get migraines as well as MSG. You

may want to have him tested for allergies. My headaches eventually stopped

on their own by about the 7th grade but I do suffer from mostly migraines

now (25 years later) when I do get a headache. The doctors never had an

answer.

If your son has been diagnosed with chronic or persistent migraine

headaches, you may be able to have him obtain protection through the

Americans with Disability Act. Or, it may be possible to leverage some

additional accommodations in school by contacting OSHA (Occupational Safety

& Health Administration). Although they primarily are involved with

protecting employee safety, the fact that the school is denying your son

with specific accommodations for a medical condition could be construed as

an aggravating factor in making the condition worse. The school should be

held to the same standard as an employer to make sure that the workplace is

safe. If the school district and the law demands that he be there, they

cannot create a negative environment and then force him to comply. I temper

this with the opposite view that schools are too overstrained to be

considered with " headache proofing " an entire building for one child. My

wife is a teacher and one mother complained so vigorously about her

daughters allergies that the school was forbidden to paint the rooms, use

permanent markers, use certain hand soaps or cleaners, the teachers could

not wear perfume, and a whole lot of other wacky restrictions that were

enforced on teachers who never even came into contact with this girl.

RE: Digest Number 1220

> I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much

as

> my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows many

> AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and say

> yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

> rages.

>

> Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent him

to

> school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in mid

> November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

> cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections

since

> mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with

the

> headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

>

> He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to

school

> and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he

could

> see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of a

> dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

> demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to

wear

> hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can

identify

> a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his

eyes

> hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called

the

> associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he

again

> refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said that

I

> would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount

of

> time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and

wait

> for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the door

> out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in the

> office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home

until

> after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed his

> index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

> leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

> committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

> assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering

and

> crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to calm

> him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal

that

> I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on

Friday

> after Thanksgiving.

>

> I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in a

> dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four

hours.

> He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor

gives

> him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

> problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in

his

> left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

> Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

> benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that Thursday.

> Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

> preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments and

> has already missed two days of this week.

>

> Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

>

> " I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

> reported to me that student was in the nurse's office, that he was

> belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

> into the nurse's office with his hood up. The nurse's assistant, reminded

> him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

> Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with

the

> request.

>

> She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was sitting

> calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude

and

> demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately 10-12

> feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

> remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

>

> I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

> hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

> interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

> appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

> quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt to

> diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point

and

> time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in

the

> office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

> approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

> reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his tirade

> and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute. He

> then decided he was going to leave the nurse's office. He stood up and

> announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office,

since

> his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues

at

> hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway. He

> went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

>

> II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up

towards

> me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return to

> his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

> profane outburst. The nurse's assistant worked to clear the other

students

> from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

> others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him that

> his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would hurt

> me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area twice.

> He stated, " There, that's an assault. "

>

> I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space. He

> chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

> multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

> arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

> return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

> direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to

pull

> him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and

again

> attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then

restrained

> his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student

was

> told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control of

> himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to the

> nurse's area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and kicked

a

> chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any

property

> he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

> restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

> de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse's area.

>

> At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

> officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

> interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and

called

> for a backup officer.

>

> Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

> behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

> imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able to

> calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he was

> going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

> aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

> escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on the

> adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When

he

> did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate in

> attempt to engage the adults around him.

>

> I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

> appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

> dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

> throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away

as

> a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. "

>

> When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to remove

> his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

> that he shouldn't have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

> happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much pain

> he was in.

>

> I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I

understand

> him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe migraines

I

> can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see

me

> getting defensive and arguing. In fact I'm sure I have.

>

> I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge

in

> September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school last

> December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during an

> OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one charge

> brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see

the

> Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

> disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer who

> issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able to

> get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe migraines,

> but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

> a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

>

> This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

> socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his

entire

> life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be

14,

> but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level. He

> opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding

out,

> it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school

and

> I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the

Friday

> before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could

see

> Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

> psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors,

they

> decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually

create

> problems for my son)

>

> Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can take

> with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

> explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the norm

> for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about social

> skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

> nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In

unguarded

> moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The very

> concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified about

> what Friday will bring.

>

> Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any

and

> all insights you may have.

>

> Steph

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Wonder if the latest virus has gotten to your computer? Find out. Run the

> FREE McAfee online computer scan!

> http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

>

>

>

>

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First of all, the assoc. principal does not deserve his job. His

" report " was filled with misspellings and grammatical errors. How

he got out of college English is a mystery to me. I'll bet he barely

squeaked it.

Second, take with you a statement from your son's psychologist

explaining about how some behaviors are out of your son's control and

may actually be exacerbated by the actions of adults who don't know

better. And explaining how, with a diagnosis of Tourette's, cursing is

beyond his control in high-stress situations. Also bring a letter from

your neurologist outlining his migraine diagnosis and how painful light

and confusion can be to a young migraine sufferer.

Third, bring a lawyer and/or an advocate. Child Protection and Advocacy

usually has an office in most cities, so call them. They're great, and

they have free lawyers if need be who are well-versed in disability and

education law. You need not go through this alone.

Fact is, the school was dead wrong in their handling of this situation

(and, it sounds like, other situations in the past) from first to last.

He never should have been asked to take off his hood, once he told the

nurse that the light hurt too much. Where did they get this nurse,

Auschwitz? He should not have been given the feeling of being closed in

or trapped, as when the principal stood in the doorway. His reactions

should not be termed " choices, " since in your son's mind he really had

no choice. He was hurting, he needed his meds, he was trapped by a

person who would not relate to him. The whole thing about not letting

him wait outside the nurses' office for you was ridiculous; the assoc.

principal " set in his heels " and just decided for no real reason that

no, this child was not going to say what he would do. He, the

" authority figure " would say what he would do. And all of us parents

here know that's the exact wrong tack to take with an autistic. Which

your son is, whether his drs. want to say so or not. I cannot believe

the police were called in. That was wholly unnecessary, but it's gonna

make a real exciting story for the ass. principal to tell his buddies,

isn't it? About the so-called disabled kid who tried to push *him*

around, and so he called the cops on him. Big man. Makes me sick.

We went through this with one of Louie's teachers in high school. The

one who pushed Louie till he went into total fear meltdown and pushed

him into a row of lockers. Gave him a concussion. He tried to say that

Louie meant what he did, that he did it volitionally, that he made a

choice to do it. Hogwash. When we demanded a sit-down with all

involved (and our advocate from CP & A), we discovered he'd been on

Louie's back for at least a week. That he was convinced that if Louie

didn't flap, wasn't MR, and could talk, that he could not be autistic.

So he ignored the IEP and tried to " slap some sense into this kid. " We

were appalled. Unfortunately, the principal of the school didn't want

special kids (other than the peppy cheerful ones in wheelchairs, or the

cheerful smiling MR kids) on his campus at all. Since he had to have

them (pesky law!), he didn't have to llike 'em or give anything they

were entitled to unless forced. Thank God for the advocate, because she

asked them if they'd ever heard of a compliance hearing or a lawsuit for

what they'd done to our son. The teacher got censured and (at our and

the advocates insistence) a letter of reprimand outlining everything was

placed in his personal file (we saw and approved the letter).

So go get 'em. It can be done. Call the advocacy people today, tell

them what's been going on, and ask that they be at the juvenile hearing

with you. The law says your son must have his own lawyer as well. Find

out who this is (public record) and talk to him if at all possible.

Tell him what's up with your boy because, dollars to donuts, all he has

is the case file.

Whatever happens, you can always cry on my shoulder if you want to.

It's not that broad, but it's waterproof.

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

" Be the change you wish to see in the world. " -- Anon

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Share on other sites

First of all, the assoc. principal does not deserve his job. His

" report " was filled with misspellings and grammatical errors. How

he got out of college English is a mystery to me. I'll bet he barely

squeaked it.

Second, take with you a statement from your son's psychologist

explaining about how some behaviors are out of your son's control and

may actually be exacerbated by the actions of adults who don't know

better. And explaining how, with a diagnosis of Tourette's, cursing is

beyond his control in high-stress situations. Also bring a letter from

your neurologist outlining his migraine diagnosis and how painful light

and confusion can be to a young migraine sufferer.

Third, bring a lawyer and/or an advocate. Child Protection and Advocacy

usually has an office in most cities, so call them. They're great, and

they have free lawyers if need be who are well-versed in disability and

education law. You need not go through this alone.

Fact is, the school was dead wrong in their handling of this situation

(and, it sounds like, other situations in the past) from first to last.

He never should have been asked to take off his hood, once he told the

nurse that the light hurt too much. Where did they get this nurse,

Auschwitz? He should not have been given the feeling of being closed in

or trapped, as when the principal stood in the doorway. His reactions

should not be termed " choices, " since in your son's mind he really had

no choice. He was hurting, he needed his meds, he was trapped by a

person who would not relate to him. The whole thing about not letting

him wait outside the nurses' office for you was ridiculous; the assoc.

principal " set in his heels " and just decided for no real reason that

no, this child was not going to say what he would do. He, the

" authority figure " would say what he would do. And all of us parents

here know that's the exact wrong tack to take with an autistic. Which

your son is, whether his drs. want to say so or not. I cannot believe

the police were called in. That was wholly unnecessary, but it's gonna

make a real exciting story for the ass. principal to tell his buddies,

isn't it? About the so-called disabled kid who tried to push *him*

around, and so he called the cops on him. Big man. Makes me sick.

We went through this with one of Louie's teachers in high school. The

one who pushed Louie till he went into total fear meltdown and pushed

him into a row of lockers. Gave him a concussion. He tried to say that

Louie meant what he did, that he did it volitionally, that he made a

choice to do it. Hogwash. When we demanded a sit-down with all

involved (and our advocate from CP & A), we discovered he'd been on

Louie's back for at least a week. That he was convinced that if Louie

didn't flap, wasn't MR, and could talk, that he could not be autistic.

So he ignored the IEP and tried to " slap some sense into this kid. " We

were appalled. Unfortunately, the principal of the school didn't want

special kids (other than the peppy cheerful ones in wheelchairs, or the

cheerful smiling MR kids) on his campus at all. Since he had to have

them (pesky law!), he didn't have to llike 'em or give anything they

were entitled to unless forced. Thank God for the advocate, because she

asked them if they'd ever heard of a compliance hearing or a lawsuit for

what they'd done to our son. The teacher got censured and (at our and

the advocates insistence) a letter of reprimand outlining everything was

placed in his personal file (we saw and approved the letter).

So go get 'em. It can be done. Call the advocacy people today, tell

them what's been going on, and ask that they be at the juvenile hearing

with you. The law says your son must have his own lawyer as well. Find

out who this is (public record) and talk to him if at all possible.

Tell him what's up with your boy because, dollars to donuts, all he has

is the case file.

Whatever happens, you can always cry on my shoulder if you want to.

It's not that broad, but it's waterproof.

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

" Be the change you wish to see in the world. " -- Anon

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Share on other sites

Hi Steph,

This reminds me a bit of my dd who at age 13 ran away for an hour after dark

and the police were brought in and when they found her and her friend, she

totally freaked and was aggressive and uncooperative. Definitely the fight

or flight thing...she had to be taken to the hospital amidst kicking and

biting too, and had to be restrained. Then transfered to a local behavioral

hospital for 2 weeks. It was an awful awful time. To this day she absolutely

hates police officers.

People think our kids are 'misbehaving' but in reality they are trying to

survive...so many just don't understand the challenges our kids face.

maralee

RE: Digest Number 1220

I have been a part of this group for some time, but have not posted much as

my 14 year old son does not have a definitive AS diagnosis. He shows many

AS-like features, but none of his doctors want to go out on a limb and say

yes or no. He IS diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety and

rages.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago - two days before Thanksgiving - I sent him to

school against my best judgement. He had missed several days (6-7) in mid

November due to severe headaches, which at the time we did not know the

cause of. He had been under antibiotic treatment for sinus infections since

mid-September. Things were not getting better and he was miserable with the

headaches. We kept going to the doctors, trying to get answers.

He was tremendously light sensitive during all this time. He went to school

and was wearing his hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his eyes so he could

see at all. Went to nurse to get his noon meds (had just walked out of a

dark classroom - watching a movie - into very bright sunlight). She

demanded that he take down his hood (school rule: no one is allowed to wear

hoods in the school. Supposedly a security issue - so that they can identify

a student if they are causing trouble) He refused, explaining that his eyes

hurt with the lights. She demanded again, he refused again. She called the

associate principal who demanded that he comply with their wishes, he again

refused and got upset, cussing and blustering. I was called and said that I

would be there in five minutes (it was closer to three). In that amount of

time, my son told the assoc. principal that he was going to go out and wait

for me. Associate principal placed himself in between my son and the door

out of the nurses office and told my son that he was going to stay in the

office and de-escalate since he was not going to be allowed to go home until

after I arrived and we all had discussed the situation. My son jabbed his

index finger into the assoc. principals collarbone and said that he was

leaving. Assoc. principal wouldn't move and tells my son that he just

committed an assault. My son jabs him harder and says " no, that is an

assault. " I get there and there are two officers, my son is blithering and

crying he is so upset. I sit on the floor in front of him and try to calm

him down. I finally get him reasonably calm and tell assoc. principal that

I am taking him home. The officer says that she will meet with us on Friday

after Thanksgiving.

I get my son home, give him pain killers for his headache, place him in a

dark, quiet room and within an hour he is out cold - sleeps for four hours.

He has an appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. Doctor gives

him a script to wear sunglasses in class, so sun sensitivity won't be

problem. They schedule a CT scan of his sinuses. Result? Large cyst in his

left maxillary sinus. Appointment with ENT specialist following Monday.

Result? Not causing the headaches. Not in right place. Large, yes, but

benign and probably of no consequence. Sent to neurologist that Thursday.

Result? Migraines, severe migraines. Put on Amitriptyline as a

preventative. Missed all but one day of last week due to appointments and

has already missed two days of this week.

Got this email from assoc principal about the incident.

" I received a call from school nurse at approximatey 11:05 am. She

reported to me that student was in the nurse's office, that he was

belligerent and uncooperative. It was explained to me that student came

into the nurse's office with his hood up. The nurse's assistant, reminded

him of the school rule about hoods and asked him to take the hood down.

Student refused and responded with profanity and refused to comply with the

request.

She then called for me in the office. When I arrived, student was sitting

calmly with a smirk on his face. My initial impression of his attitude and

demeanor was that he was seeking a conflict. I stood approximately 10-12

feet from him. I attempted to re-direct him and then later asked him to

remove his hood. He refused and responded with profanity.

I quietly but firmly explained to him that the rules about profanity and

hoods are in force for all students. He attempted to argue with me and

interrupted me many times. I continued with my explanation. When it

appeared that he was attempting to continue to escalate the situation, I

quit talking to him and asked nurse to contact the mother in an attempt to

diffuse the situation. I determined that my interventions at that point and

time were not going to be successful, so my goal was to maintain him in the

office until the mother arrived. He went on a profane tirade lasting

approximately one minute. We remained silent. Student was not being

reinforced by getting attention from his behavior. He stopped his tirade

and calmed himself down. He sat silently for approximately one minute. He

then decided he was going to leave the nurse's office. He stood up and

announced his intention to do so. I asked him to stay in the office, since

his mother was coming to meet with us and so we could resolve the issues at

hand. He became immediately angry and told me he was leaving anyway. He

went on to say that I had no authority to tell him what to do.

II stood in a fig-leaf position to protect myself. He came right up towards

me and stopped. He stood silently. I then quietly asked him to return to

his seat until his mother arrived. He immediately began an explosive,

profane outburst. The nurse's assistant worked to clear the other students

from the office, due to his explosive nature and the danger he posed to

others. He paused for a few seconds and pushed me twice. I told him that

his actions were an assault. He threatened me by telling me he would hurt

me if I did not move and then struck me in the left collarbone area twice.

He stated, " There, that's an assault. "

I backed up to the Main Door of the office to provide him more space. He

chose to come towards me in an aggressive manner. He again pushed me

multiple times at the door opening. At this time school liaison officer

arrived due to the commotion and noise in the office. He asked him to

return to his seat. Student cursed at him and threw two elbows in the

direction of his head. He grabbed his backpack strap and attempted to pull

him off of me. Student swung his left arm at me, then spun around and again

attempted to elbow him . I restrained his right arm and he then restrained

his left arm. Student yelled out that he was being assaulted. Student was

told, by both of us, that we would let go if we chose to regain control of

himself. He de-escalated himself. Student then began to walk back to the

nurse's area. Student then threw a pencil in a violent manner and kicked a

chair twice. He was informed that he would be responsible for any property

he destroyed, and that further aggressive acts would result in him being

restrained. He responded with further profanity. He then chose to

de-escalate himself and sat down in the chair in the Nurse's area.

At this point law enforcement arrived. Student began to scream at the

officer. The officer attempted to ask me what had happened. He again

interrupted and screamed. The officer felt he was out of control and called

for a backup officer.

Student will be held accountable for his assaultive and disorderly

behaviors. His behavior and choices put several adults and students in

imminent danger of harm. Several times during this process he was able to

calm himself, only to escalate himself again when it did not appear he was

going to get what he wanted. He appeared to be seeking to control all

aspects of this situation. When hedid not get his way, he chose to

escalate. After he would de-escalate, he would blame his behaviors on the

adults in the situation, and took no ownership of his own choices. When he

did not get sympathy after his explanations, he again chose to escalate in

attempt to engage the adults around him.

I have a basic understanding of the issues this student is facing. It

appeared to me that he made a number of conscious choices throughout my

dealings with him. No adults were inappropriate with him at any time

throughout this situation. Not all of his choices can be explained away as

a disability. He must be responsible for his choices. "

When I talked to my son he admitted to getting angry when asked to remove

his hood as his headache was very severe at that time. He also admitted

that he shouldn't have gotten out of control. He feels badly that it

happened yet wishes that they would be more understanding of how much pain

he was in.

I am frustrated with my son - I am frustrated with the school. I understand

him getting angry - when I think back to some of my more severe migraines I

can see me acting much the same way (without the profanity). I can see me

getting defensive and arguing. In fact I'm sure I have.

I only hope that this does not mean placement. He was told by the judge in

September (charges resulting from an OCD episode at the middle school last

December - they picked him up and moved him into a time out room during an

OCD attack, resulting in him getting hysterical) that if he had one charge

brought he would be placed. I am dreading this Friday when he will see the

Juvenile Court officer about the two simple assault charges and the

disorderly conduct charge he received for this incident. The officer who

issued the tickets is very understanding and said that we might be able to

get the assault charges dropped due to the diagnosis of severe migraines,

but she wasn't sure. When she came over, the room had to be darkened (8

a.m.) and the sound muffled or my son was in pain.

This is a child that I have been telling them for several years is not

socially adept. He has no friends and hasn't had but maybe two in his entire

life - he cannot keep them - doesn't know how to be a friend. He may be 14,

but reacts emotionally and socially at about the 9 -11 year old level. He

opens mouth and whatever is in his mind at the time just comes flooding out,

it's like there is no censorship before it exits his mouth. The school and

I have had several discussions about this - the most recent being the Friday

before the incident when the same associate principal said that he could see

Asperger's like behaviors in my son. (yet when I tried to show the

psychologist hired by the court for an evaluation those same behaviors, they

decided that I was making up the symptoms and was trying to actually create

problems for my son)

Sorry this is so long, but do any of you have any ideas on what I can take

with me when we see the Juvenile Court officer on Friday morning to help

explain the incident? The behaviors he exhibited were not out of the norm

for him. I have contacted the school counselor and inquired about social

skill training, he has yet to get back to me. My son is convinced that

nothing will happen to him - or so he would like me to believe. In unguarded

moments he cries(sobs) about the possibility of being sent away. The very

concept terrifies him. I am at a loss as to what to do and terrified about

what Friday will bring.

Thank you for bearing with me for such a long post and thank you for any and

all insights you may have.

Steph

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