dating service

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This came to me from my google news alert service today…interesting….

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Cupid

has company: Framingham psychologist to start dating service

By Kathy Uek /

News Business Writer

Monday, February 9,

2004

For 23-year-old , the dating

scene is foreign territory.

" I've never had a

girlfriend, " said the Milford resident,

who was recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, a neurobiological

disorder marked by deficiencies in social skills. " I always had difficulty

in my childhood meeting people. I went to dances at junior high school and

everybody was dancing, but I couldn't get anyone to dance. Sometimes I was too

shy, but when I did ask, they wouldn't dance with me. "

Faced with the challenges of

social difficulties, many adults find meeting and dating people a formidable

task. Dr. Rothenberg, a psychologist in Framingham, wants to

change that. He is establishing Good Connections, a dating service designed to

help people like . His last name is not being used for confidentiality

reasons.

Good Connections is geared to

facilitate meaningful relationships between people with special needs so they

can have the same opportunity as others, according to Rothenberg.

" Somebody may be looking

for a friend to spend time with or someone else may be looking for a more

long-term love relationship, " he said. " There are some people who may

have a particular interest in football, for example, and have difficulty

finding friends to accompany them to football games. (Good Connections) is a

place to come and find a suitable companion or, for others, dating

relationships. "

Social challenges cover a wide

spectrum, according to Rothenberg. " Some are more temperamentally shy and

have no other difficulties, " he said. " A number of people have

learning issues and accompanying kinds of social difficulties; others may have

development difficulty and depressive or anxiety disorders that affect them.

There's quite a range of different kinds of difficulties that have accompanying

social challenges.

" Some people suffering

from depression may struggle with self-esteem and issues of people not wanting

to be involved with them. They could utilize the (dating) service and find a

way to connect with people in a more positive way. Research shows when people

are able to make those connections, it helps decrease depression. "

Rothenberg has 25 years of

experience helping people with social and relationship difficulties. His small

private group practice in Framingham involves

psychotherapy, consultation to schools and workshops for parents, teachers and

counselors.

" Through our practice, we

have encountered so many talented and caring individuals who have become

frustrated in their struggle to find others who can appreciate their personal

gifts, " said Rothenberg.

Unlike a typical dating

service, psychologists and social workers with several years of experience

helping children, adolescents and adults with social skills difficulties, will

assist those 18 years old and older through the process of meeting someone new.

But for Rothenberg, not all

the connections have been good. Good Connections needs to be established as a

charitable organization to serve some underprivileged clients, according to

Rothenberg, but the first Internal Revenue Service agent the psychologist dealt

with had problems seeing it as such. " She could not envision how (Good

Connections) would qualify as a charitable organization.

" With that status, we can

offer the services to the widest possible group of potential clients,

especially since we have been told by many of those interested (that) they have

limited funds. We need to be able to provide scholarships for these

folks, " Rothenberg said.

The forms to receive the

designation are now with the IRS in Washington, D.C., which

handles more complicated cases. Rothenberg's attorney is cautiously optimistic

that a resolution is near. " We are supposedly getting to the top of the

pile, " he said.

When Good Connections clears

the status hurdle, it wants to have 150 pre-registrants to give the service a

good-sized pool to work with. It currently has about 50, including one from Texas. It will

then solicit contributions, write for grants and begin

in earnest.

The fee for the dating service

is between $500 and $1,500 for the first year's membership. " Contracts

will be renewed for subsequent years at a much reduced fee, " said

Rothenberg. " The first year is more labor intensive. "

" We are hoping to be able

to subsidize that further if we receive the (charitable organization) status,

which will enable us to be able to accept charitable contributions and write

for grants, " said Rothenberg.

Once someone becomes a client,

a professional staff member or " coach " helps the person articulate or

demonstrate their particular talents and qualities on a videotape to establish

a member profile. The coach will also help clients look through a library of

other videotapes to accurately assess what they are looking for.

" A lot of people may not

have that skill of being able to take in all the information to form a sense of

what somebody else is about so they can make an informed kind of choice, "

said Rothenberg.

When a member decides to

contact another member and is given the phone number, the client plans the time

and place to meet and independently carries out the meeting.

After the dating service is up

and running, Rothenberg has plans for expansion, including changes to its Web

site, www.socialskills.org.

" Stage two is putting

this all on the Web, " said Rothenberg, who plans to have satellite

locations for the second phase. " Once the (clients) have made their tape,

we can put it on the Web and they can view tapes that way, which makes it more

accessible to people. "

In the interim, Good

Connections is waiting for IRS approval on its status so it can move forward

and help people like 31-year-old start a relationship.

" I

have tried single dances and nightclubs, but I had no luck, " said .

" I think this is the answer. "

( (Kathy Uek can be reached at or kuek@....) )

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