Forgiveness Article

[Guest guest]

Hey,

I read the article and I think I get it and maybe I can explain what I think

it is saying. I think the " hierarchy " issue goes to the fact that people can

only hurt us if they are in a position of power. Our nadas had the ability

to hurt us because they were our caretakers and had charge of us. Now, one

of you mentioned that we were owed a certain amount of care and love from our

parents. I agree with this statement but not with the idea that it makes our

parents indebted to us. Here is my logic on this idea...children ultimately

belong to God. He lends them to us...requiring that we treat them with

love, tenderness and respect. Failure to live up to this would makes us

indebted to God. He put us (children) into the lives of our parents. We are

on loan and they (parents) are indebted to HIM. Now, I think when we reach

the age of reason (whenever it comes...later for KO's) and we decide that a

relationship with our nadas is harmful, we can remove (after soul wrenching,

gut churning and agonizing over the whole situation) ourselves from her care.

We become the caretakers of ourselves. We give ourselves the things we need

to feel whole and worthy. The tables are turned and nada is without the

power over ourselves...as much as it was our lack of reason and choice that

gave it to her in the first place. HOWEVER...this never relieves the debt

nada owes to God for defaulting on the agreement to treat her children well.

It just makes any future " debts " , debts between equals...because if nada gets

close enough to us to hurt us as adults, we let her in and we know

better....not our FAULT, but our reponsibility to ourselves to prevent the

hurt through boundary setting, etc.

Disclaimer...please don't think I believe that many of us have truly reached

the " age of reason " ...the fact that we are all here dumping all of our

baggage on this list belies that. I imagine that it take a long time for us

to truly feel that we are not " under her thumb " . I personally spent

yesterday feeling like I was twelve years old and that Megatron was about to

ground me for something insignificant.

Debbie