Hope

[Guest guest]

Hi Hope

You sound like a pretty together person for someone with such an interesting

family.

Having a borderline mom (a nada) does mean being very alone sometimes. Not

even my brothers and dad understand my experience, because I'm the one who

has been split bad. Only another daughter can understand, I think. You're in

good company here.

It has been my choice to " divorce " nada (2 years ago), and as a result she

has slandered me amongst many family members, so I have lost them all except

for the immediate ones. I spent one evening recently feeling very blue

because I've never had a Christmas filled with mom's warmth and love, and I

never will.

Pushing nada out of my life has been very difficult, I still feel anxious

and guilty sometimes, she is after all just a foolish old woman who has

messed up her own life. But my pdoc has told me I have to be selfish, put

the oxygen mask on first, as you say. Anyway, no-one can help nadas if they

don't want help in the first place. We are not responsible for their

happiness.

Have you read the Eggshells book? If not, you should, it is very liberating.

It also explains the terminology, I think.

Take care

Minja