Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Hi, My mother basically abandoned us when I was 12. I had 2 younger brothers ages 7 and 5. My parents were on the verge of divorce for a while, but one day my mother got up decided she was done with marriage and children, packed up the car and left. I was overjoyed. I sang thank god the wicked witch is dead. I still remember. Then I asked my father if I could clean up the house and start throwing out piles of junk she had all over the house. I guess why I brought all of that up is that even though all of that happened we never discussed it. My mother brought up later on that she couldn't get custody of us because she didnt wnat to or couldnt take us back to where her foo was from. It was all a huge excuse. I think that from 12 years old and up I never had the courage to confront that issue. I don't know what it is about me but with both my parents even though they hurt me I couldn't confront because I feel if I ever exposed them they would fall apart.I really always perceived myself as much stronger emotionally than either of them. they both had rotten childhoods and they let that ruin how they handled their children. > >>Whatever I have done to hurt the two of you I am > tryly sorry, as your > Mother > I want only the best for both of you and would give > my very life for you. We > do need to talk to heal all the wounds and > misunderstandings of the last > several months. All four of us need to sit down > togather and talk openly and > honestly, without accusations and anger. Life is to > short to go on like this > and it is far to hurtful to lose the love and > support of your family. " > > ** This is so funny(painful?), I promise these words > could have come out my > nada's mouth, exactly.How many times has she said > this to me? I just had to > laugh becuase its so typical nada to sound so sweet > and forgiving and really > all she wants to do is make you listen to her point > of view again because > you didn't understand her in the first place!! The > part I like best is -open > and honest, without accusations!!-its ironic how > these words are twisted! > > Dee > > > > ===== K. Lutman Mannheim, Germany Mom to Brennan 10/3/99 http://www.growthspurts.com/view.asp?s=6344 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Hi , This is how I felt too for years. When my 4th child turned 10 I looked at her in all her innocence and sweetness and a HUGE floodlight went on. How could my parents have leaned on me when I was my daughters age? It really messed me up. But for most of my life I assumed being a good daughter meant taking care of the parents emotionally, and later financially. I realized that we are not meant as children to take care of our parents. It is unnatural and puts too great a burden on kids. It is a powerful hold. A bit at a time we move forward.... Kathleen I With me it is a kind of codependency. It robbed me of years. > know what it is about me but with both my parents even > though they hurt me I couldn't confront because I feel > if I ever exposed them they would fall apart.I really > always perceived myself as much stronger emotionally > than either of them. they both had rotten childhoods > and they let that ruin how they handled their > children. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Hi , This is how I felt too for years. When my 4th child turned 10 I looked at her in all her innocence and sweetness and a HUGE floodlight went on. How could my parents have leaned on me when I was my daughters age? It really messed me up. But for most of my life I assumed being a good daughter meant taking care of the parents emotionally, and later financially. I realized that we are not meant as children to take care of our parents. It is unnatural and puts too great a burden on kids. It is a powerful hold. A bit at a time we move forward.... Kathleen I With me it is a kind of codependency. It robbed me of years. > know what it is about me but with both my parents even > though they hurt me I couldn't confront because I feel > if I ever exposed them they would fall apart.I really > always perceived myself as much stronger emotionally > than either of them. they both had rotten childhoods > and they let that ruin how they handled their > children. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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