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Validation (Cyndie)

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Hi Cyndie

I have the same problem with my 2 brothers. They would rather believe nada's

accusation that I beat her up than give me the benefit of the doubt.

I finally decided that it must be because it is FAR TOO SCARY for them to

consider for even one moment that she may be delusional, because then their

known lives would crumble. Maybe a bad, mad sister is easier to accept than

a bad, mad mom.

When brother no 2 was about 2 years old, nada once tied him to a pole by his

leg to keep him out of the street, and stood there laughing at him when he

begged to be untied. It is an image that still haunts me, but guess what?

Brother doesn't even remember that day. How's that for selective memory.

Of course the invalidation hurts a lot. We have lost a lot more than a

loving mother.

Take care

Minja

> Re: Re: Something I want to share...

> And what's frustrated me most in my life, and was THE

> reason that I came to this list is the last

> interaction I'd had with my surviving brother who

> refuses to validate me. I tried to explain this to my

> brother and he just refuses to even try to understand

> me. It's not that he's not aware that nada has mental

> illness. (Although he doesn't know what it is.) It's

> that he refuses to validate ME.

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