verbal abuse and fear - not about BPD tho

[Guest guest]

About two weeks ago my niece (who I've been talking about for awhile) called her

ex to get social security numbers on her kids, because she'd lost her cards. He

started verbally abusing her and so I took the phone away and tried to talk to

him to tell him what was going on at our house. Well, he cussed me out ,

stopped when I told him I wouldn't be talked to that way, he said he was just

" excited " , and then promptly started to use foul language again so I hung up.

I've never in my life either in the military or out, heard that kind of stuff.

Here's my problem - now I've become scared of any scruffy or low class looking

guy. The mall today really got to me. I don't understand why - I don't even

know what her ex looks like, but I'm scared to death. This is unrational!! Any

ideas on how to overcome it??

Ilene

[Guest guest]

Hi Ilene,

Aha, you've had a reality experience. There's a reason for your <fear>

reaction. Its because of a KO flea -- called projection.

KOs have the mirror-image of our nada's projections. Our nadas/fadas saw

and projected their " all bad " stuff onto us and we internalized it but

KOs see and project their own goodness onto others. Thus KOs tend to not

trust their own Self and trust others too much.

But it doesn't work that way in the real world. There's lots of axxholes

out there that we should be aware of and fear, and now you've met one.

" Normals " know about stuff like that. Their parents taught them about

that stuff -- even the normals who had " just good enough mothers " (see

Lawson's U the BM) know what the real world is like. But we KOs had

nadas (fake mothers) and we have to learn this stuff the hard way and as

adults.

And, you have to also remember that this is the stuff that your niece

and her children have had to deal with all along. No wonder they've got

lots of problems.

Hugs,

Edith

<sprinkling KOs with flea powder>

Ilene wrote:

<<

About two weeks ago my niece (who I've been talking about for awhile)

called her ex to get social security numbers on her kids, because she'd

lost her cards. He started verbally abusing her and so I took the phone

away and tried to talk to him to tell him what was going on at our

house. Well, he cussed me out , stopped when I told him I wouldn't be

talked to that way, he said he was just " excited " , and then promptly

started to use foul language again so I hung up. I've never in my life

either in the military or out, heard that kind of stuff. Here's my

problem - now I've become scared of any scruffy or low class looking

guy. The mall today really got to me. I don't understand why - I don't

even know what her ex looks like, but I'm scared to death. This is

unrational!! Any ideas on how to overcome it??

Ilene

>>

[Guest guest]

Ilene wrote:

I've never in my life either in the military or out, heard that kind of stuff.

Here's my problem - now I've become scared of any scruffy or low class looking

guy. The mall today really got to me. I don't understand why - I don't even

know what her ex looks like, but I'm scared to death. This is unrational!!

Any

ideas on how to overcome it??

See if you can look at a picture of him.... at least then you'll know what

you're looking for.

If your gut instinct says to be afraid of 'him' then take heed... Just try to

narrow down 'who' he is.

Hugs,

Kris

[Guest guest]

Ilene wrote:

I've never in my life either in the military or out, heard that kind of stuff.

Here's my problem - now I've become scared of any scruffy or low class looking

guy. The mall today really got to me. I don't understand why - I don't even

know what her ex looks like, but I'm scared to death. This is unrational!!

Any

ideas on how to overcome it??

See if you can look at a picture of him.... at least then you'll know what

you're looking for.

If your gut instinct says to be afraid of 'him' then take heed... Just try to

narrow down 'who' he is.

Hugs,

Kris

[Guest guest]

Ilene wrote:

I've never in my life either in the military or out, heard that kind of stuff.

Here's my problem - now I've become scared of any scruffy or low class looking

guy. The mall today really got to me. I don't understand why - I don't even

know what her ex looks like, but I'm scared to death. This is unrational!!

Any

ideas on how to overcome it??

See if you can look at a picture of him.... at least then you'll know what

you're looking for.

If your gut instinct says to be afraid of 'him' then take heed... Just try to

narrow down 'who' he is.

Hugs,

Kris