Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would never disclose to them. Ellen At 08:47 AM 11/28/01 -0600, you wrote: > > >My nada was also always curious about how much we paid for something and how >much my hubby got paid. >I got good at the " Ann Landers's type answers but she'd still push. Talk about >no boundaries. > > >Ilene > > > > >To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would never disclose to them. Ellen At 08:47 AM 11/28/01 -0600, you wrote: > > >My nada was also always curious about how much we paid for something and how >much my hubby got paid. >I got good at the " Ann Landers's type answers but she'd still push. Talk about >no boundaries. > > >Ilene > > > > >To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would never disclose to them. Ellen At 08:47 AM 11/28/01 -0600, you wrote: > > >My nada was also always curious about how much we paid for something and how >much my hubby got paid. >I got good at the " Ann Landers's type answers but she'd still push. Talk about >no boundaries. > > >Ilene > > > > >To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 Hello all, I am new here. My mother was diagnosed with bpd a year ago and my father divorced here about 8 months ago. I understand what all of you mean about the money. My father is a dr, and I grew up with money. But that was my mothers obsession. Even now after the divorce she freaks out about it always complaining that she is destitute. Now my father gives her 5 grand a month for alimoney. Her brand new house is paid for and she does not have that many bills. I don't know about you but I would love to live off that kind of money. My husband just lost his job and we are trying to make it. And she has to call hysterical that she is poor. I have been trying to set the boundaries with her and tell her she has a lot more money than she realizes. But as we all know that is pointless. I had all the money growing up and after several incidences, i moved in with my husband with basically the clothes on my back. We did not have much but we are happy. We have come a long ways, but we realize that money is not everything. Love and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important than tonz of money. Also Ellen had brought up the topic of sex. What I was wondering if any of you experienced this as well. My mother always told me about her intimate life with my father. I have known things about this since I was 12. There are just so many things that a kid does not need to know about when it comes to the intimacy parents share. That was such a major boundry that a parent could cross. Even her views on sex still haunt me. I was raised to believe that sex is only for the man and you have to always satisfy your husband even if you are not in the mood. I have worked through a lot of these issues and my husband is very supportive. He has made me see that sex is an equal give and take loving thing between two people. Just wanted to know if any others have experienced any of this. Thanks for listening. >Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she >was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! >Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would >never disclose to them. > >Ellen > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 My " old " mother and her generation grew up during depression. They know what it's like to lose everything in one fell swoop! As a result, they hold onto money like there's no tomorrow. They'll need it for a rainy day, but no rainy day is ever rainy enough. And they keep tucking more and more away, just in case the storm of the century comes. It never does, but they're not going to take any chances. I've worked with people and their finances for over 30 years, and I've seen this over and over and over again with that generation, with or without BPD. It's a very consistent pattern, but then again, there are degrees, and perhaps BPDs are the extreme. I'm sure I must have unknowingly worked with some BPDs, but I wasn't aware of it, since I only learned about the condition a few months ago. Best wishes, Carol Hildegard6@... wrote: > A lot of old people seem to have this obsession with money. I find > that strange, as you can't take it with you in your grave, can you? > I think being generous is being unconditional. It's giving because > you feel like giving, not because you expect something in return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 you are so right about money - " Love and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important than tonz of money. " : =) Re: money is the root.... > Hello all, > > I am new here. My mother was diagnosed with bpd a year ago and my father > divorced here about 8 months ago. I understand what all of you mean about > the money. My father is a dr, and I grew up with money. But that was my > mothers obsession. Even now after the divorce she freaks out about it > always complaining that she is destitute. Now my father gives her 5 grand a > month for alimoney. Her brand new house is paid for and she does not have > that many bills. I don't know about you but I would love to live off that > kind of money. My husband just lost his job and we are trying to make it. > And she has to call hysterical that she is poor. I have been trying to set > the boundaries with her and tell her she has a lot more money than she > realizes. But as we all know that is pointless. I had all the money > growing up and after several incidences, i moved in with my husband with > basically the clothes on my back. We did not have much but we are happy. > We have come a long ways, but we realize that money is not everything. Love > and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important > than tonz of money. > > Also Ellen had brought up the topic of sex. What I was wondering if any of > you experienced this as well. My mother always told me about her intimate > life with my father. I have known things about this since I was 12. There > are just so many things that a kid does not need to know about when it comes > to the intimacy parents share. That was such a major boundry that a parent > could cross. Even her views on sex still haunt me. I was raised to believe > that sex is only for the man and you have to always satisfy your husband > even if you are not in the mood. I have worked through a lot of these > issues and my husband is very supportive. He has made me see that sex is an > equal give and take loving thing between two people. Just wanted to know if > any others have experienced any of this. Thanks for listening. > > > >Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she > >was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! > >Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would > >never disclose to them. > > > >Ellen > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 you are so right about money - " Love and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important than tonz of money. " : =) Re: money is the root.... > Hello all, > > I am new here. My mother was diagnosed with bpd a year ago and my father > divorced here about 8 months ago. I understand what all of you mean about > the money. My father is a dr, and I grew up with money. But that was my > mothers obsession. Even now after the divorce she freaks out about it > always complaining that she is destitute. Now my father gives her 5 grand a > month for alimoney. Her brand new house is paid for and she does not have > that many bills. I don't know about you but I would love to live off that > kind of money. My husband just lost his job and we are trying to make it. > And she has to call hysterical that she is poor. I have been trying to set > the boundaries with her and tell her she has a lot more money than she > realizes. But as we all know that is pointless. I had all the money > growing up and after several incidences, i moved in with my husband with > basically the clothes on my back. We did not have much but we are happy. > We have come a long ways, but we realize that money is not everything. Love > and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important > than tonz of money. > > Also Ellen had brought up the topic of sex. What I was wondering if any of > you experienced this as well. My mother always told me about her intimate > life with my father. I have known things about this since I was 12. There > are just so many things that a kid does not need to know about when it comes > to the intimacy parents share. That was such a major boundry that a parent > could cross. Even her views on sex still haunt me. I was raised to believe > that sex is only for the man and you have to always satisfy your husband > even if you are not in the mood. I have worked through a lot of these > issues and my husband is very supportive. He has made me see that sex is an > equal give and take loving thing between two people. Just wanted to know if > any others have experienced any of this. Thanks for listening. > > > >Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she > >was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! > >Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would > >never disclose to them. > > > >Ellen > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 you are so right about money - " Love and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important than tonz of money. " : =) Re: money is the root.... > Hello all, > > I am new here. My mother was diagnosed with bpd a year ago and my father > divorced here about 8 months ago. I understand what all of you mean about > the money. My father is a dr, and I grew up with money. But that was my > mothers obsession. Even now after the divorce she freaks out about it > always complaining that she is destitute. Now my father gives her 5 grand a > month for alimoney. Her brand new house is paid for and she does not have > that many bills. I don't know about you but I would love to live off that > kind of money. My husband just lost his job and we are trying to make it. > And she has to call hysterical that she is poor. I have been trying to set > the boundaries with her and tell her she has a lot more money than she > realizes. But as we all know that is pointless. I had all the money > growing up and after several incidences, i moved in with my husband with > basically the clothes on my back. We did not have much but we are happy. > We have come a long ways, but we realize that money is not everything. Love > and happiness, plus sucess emotionally and mentally are far more important > than tonz of money. > > Also Ellen had brought up the topic of sex. What I was wondering if any of > you experienced this as well. My mother always told me about her intimate > life with my father. I have known things about this since I was 12. There > are just so many things that a kid does not need to know about when it comes > to the intimacy parents share. That was such a major boundry that a parent > could cross. Even her views on sex still haunt me. I was raised to believe > that sex is only for the man and you have to always satisfy your husband > even if you are not in the mood. I have worked through a lot of these > issues and my husband is very supportive. He has made me see that sex is an > equal give and take loving thing between two people. Just wanted to know if > any others have experienced any of this. Thanks for listening. > > > >Sex was a topic of discussion as well. The children were to blame if she > >was tired at night. (not kidding!!) We constantly got reports of this! > >Then after I married, they'd always question about this topic which I would > >never disclose to them. > > > >Ellen > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2001 Report Share Posted November 29, 2001 Hi Ilene That's an interesting thought - how would a couple pf BPDs get on with each other? Would it be a total nightmare of a love feast? Take care Minja > RE: money is the root.... > Maybe I should send my nada to visit yours and they could talk about money > and > how ungrateful their daughters were/are!!! Yes, my nada focused on money > all > the time, but I didn't realize how much until your post! > > Ilene > > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to > ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for > non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of > contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2001 Report Share Posted December 4, 2001 --- Minja Simpson wrote: > Hi everyone > Have you also found that money is one of your nada's > prime tools for > manipulation? I am behind in responding to these interesting messages because work has been busy. My parents use money as manipulation. They want to pay for things for me and will not let me repay them. That makes me feel indebted to them. They then expect certain things from me because they bought me things. I now try to not let them buy me anything and not make any deals with them. But it is frustrating to have everything attached to STRINGS! Holly hchermack@... __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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