Guest guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Rats errrrrrr Hats off to you Sir! Chetan Keep Smiling Shah wrote: RATS! It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl in the doctor's consulting room. Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual that they have bitten the knees! Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you know that there were many rats? Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory references to the unfortunate rat. For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. Doctor: Main point? What? Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. Doctor: Yes! talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl friend, I had made a lovely poem: You are my fortune! You are my Luck! Lets go in the grass, to play and .. Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further trouble. Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a couple of bites more in the bargain. Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely rare. Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in Gujarat. Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with Music therapy. I forget his name. Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. Ashok: Aren't all children small? Doctor: Eh? Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip of the tongue. Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It was Hamlyn! Ashok: Hamlyn? Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. Doctor: What about that treatment? Ashok: I think I'll have it later. Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when you hold rats upside down? Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! Quickly grabs his niece and exits. *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* Kishore Shah 1974 PS: With all the best wishes for an uneventful recovery for Ashok and his niece*. *Ashok, from my humour and his niece from the bite! --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.760 / Virus Database: 509 - Release Date: 10-09-04 ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Thank you, all, for your kind compliments. Kishore Shah 1974 --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.760 / Virus Database: 509 - Release Date: 10-09-04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Thank you, all, for your kind compliments. Kishore Shah 1974 --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.760 / Virus Database: 509 - Release Date: 10-09-04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Thank you, all, for your kind compliments. Kishore Shah 1974 --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.760 / Virus Database: 509 - Release Date: 10-09-04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 Too good, Kishore! :-D Ravin '82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 Too good, Kishore! :-D Ravin '82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 Too good, Kishore! :-D Ravin '82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 Dear Seema, Those 3 cases you have seen in person (for rabies after a rat bite), is that in your entire career or this one year alone? " Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need prophylactic rabies vaccine " , hopefully that means in this case only... I remember - as a house officer in Surgery Dept. in MGIMS a case of horse-bite was given anti-rabies vaccination! No point in mentioning which Unit. Ravin '82 Re: Rats! > Dear Ashok, > a belated happy birthday. Your concern and opinion are well placed. I had > already forwarded the data and in person seen only 3 cases being referred > for rabies after rat bite even in India. A thorough literature search did > not support the idea of compulsory rabies vaccine in a case of ratbite. > Tetanus has gone down significantly. From 36 cases in 1997 to 5 cases this > year in our tetanus ward. Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need > prophylactic rabies vaccine > Seema Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 Dear Seema, Those 3 cases you have seen in person (for rabies after a rat bite), is that in your entire career or this one year alone? " Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need prophylactic rabies vaccine " , hopefully that means in this case only... I remember - as a house officer in Surgery Dept. in MGIMS a case of horse-bite was given anti-rabies vaccination! No point in mentioning which Unit. Ravin '82 Re: Rats! > Dear Ashok, > a belated happy birthday. Your concern and opinion are well placed. I had > already forwarded the data and in person seen only 3 cases being referred > for rabies after rat bite even in India. A thorough literature search did > not support the idea of compulsory rabies vaccine in a case of ratbite. > Tetanus has gone down significantly. From 36 cases in 1997 to 5 cases this > year in our tetanus ward. Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need > prophylactic rabies vaccine > Seema Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 Thanks a bunch dear Seema for your authoritative opinion. I am still a little confused and probably err on the side of caution. 5 doses of rabies vaccine seems more worthful than waiting for you know what. What was the outcome in those cases of rabies - still 100% mortality ? Can you also comment on the HIV threat in India - here the media potrays it as an impending disaster of catastrophic proportions. ashok bhaskar 1984 p.s. like I said the vaccine won't be a total waste - if not absolutely indicated for this bite - will protect my dear niece from rabies for bites that might occur later...like me ) ravindas wrote: Dear Seema, Those 3 cases you have seen in person (for rabies after a rat bite), is that in your entire career or this one year alone? " Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need prophylactic rabies vaccine " , hopefully that means in this case only... I remember - as a house officer in Surgery Dept. in MGIMS a case of horse-bite was given anti-rabies vaccination! No point in mentioning which Unit. Ravin '82 Re: Rats! > Dear Ashok, > a belated happy birthday. Your concern and opinion are well placed. I had > already forwarded the data and in person seen only 3 cases being referred > for rabies after rat bite even in India. A thorough literature search did > not support the idea of compulsory rabies vaccine in a case of ratbite. > Tetanus has gone down significantly. From 36 cases in 1997 to 5 cases this > year in our tetanus ward. Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need > prophylactic rabies vaccine > Seema ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 Thanks a bunch dear Seema for your authoritative opinion. I am still a little confused and probably err on the side of caution. 5 doses of rabies vaccine seems more worthful than waiting for you know what. What was the outcome in those cases of rabies - still 100% mortality ? Can you also comment on the HIV threat in India - here the media potrays it as an impending disaster of catastrophic proportions. ashok bhaskar 1984 p.s. like I said the vaccine won't be a total waste - if not absolutely indicated for this bite - will protect my dear niece from rabies for bites that might occur later...like me ) ravindas wrote: Dear Seema, Those 3 cases you have seen in person (for rabies after a rat bite), is that in your entire career or this one year alone? " Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need prophylactic rabies vaccine " , hopefully that means in this case only... I remember - as a house officer in Surgery Dept. in MGIMS a case of horse-bite was given anti-rabies vaccination! No point in mentioning which Unit. Ravin '82 Re: Rats! > Dear Ashok, > a belated happy birthday. Your concern and opinion are well placed. I had > already forwarded the data and in person seen only 3 cases being referred > for rabies after rat bite even in India. A thorough literature search did > not support the idea of compulsory rabies vaccine in a case of ratbite. > Tetanus has gone down significantly. From 36 cases in 1997 to 5 cases this > year in our tetanus ward. Like prophylactic antibiotics, you do not need > prophylactic rabies vaccine > Seema ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Brilliant Kishore- fantastic story telling! Had me in a tizz about what was the central issue(s)- was that the aim of your story ? Sadhana '85 > > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > > PS: With all the best wishes for an uneventful recovery for Ashok and his > niece*. > *Ashok, from my humour and his niece from the bite! > > > > --- > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Brilliant Kishore- fantastic story telling! Had me in a tizz about what was the central issue(s)- was that the aim of your story ? Sadhana '85 > > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > > PS: With all the best wishes for an uneventful recovery for Ashok and his > niece*. > *Ashok, from my humour and his niece from the bite! > > > > --- > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Kishore, If you ever want a career change go work in an Italian restaurant- you will make great spaghetti!! Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Kishore, If you ever want a career change go work in an Italian restaurant- you will make great spaghetti!! Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. have a blessed day !1 ashok ' 84 p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! sadbose@... wrote: Kishore, If you ever want a career change go work in an Italian restaurant- you will make great spaghetti!! Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. have a blessed day !1 ashok ' 84 p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! sadbose@... wrote: Kishore, If you ever want a career change go work in an Italian restaurant- you will make great spaghetti!! Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. have a blessed day !1 ashok ' 84 p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! sadbose@... wrote: Kishore, If you ever want a career change go work in an Italian restaurant- you will make great spaghetti!! Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/17 Fri AM 11:38:11 GMT > To: mgims <mgims > > Subject: Rats! > > RATS! > > It is a quiet morning, until Ashok enters agitatedly along with a small girl > in the doctor's consulting room. > > Ashok: Doctor! Doctor! Please help! > > Doctor: Calm down, Ashok. Yeah! Tell me your problem. > > Ashok: Doctor, rats have bitten my niece. > > Doctor: Thank God! They could have bitten a bit higher up, and then you > would have been in serious trouble. Very serious trouble indeed! > > Ashok: Higher up? I don't understand. > > Doctor: Yeah! They commonly bite the toes. In your case, it is very unusual > that they have bitten the knees! > > Ashok: (exasperatedly) Oh Doc! NIECE! As in 'nephew'. > > Doctor: Oh! Sorry. My fault. Okay, okay! Calm down. Lets see. How do you > know that there were many rats? > > Ashok: I don't. I am not sure. Does it make any difference? > > Doctor: I'll reframe my question. Was it a rat or a mouse? > > Ashok: I don't know. What's the difference? > > Doctor: Exactly. The rat is unnecessarily maligned in so many cases. It is > usually the mouse that does all the dirty tricks and the poor rat gets the > blame. So much so, that our whole language is riddled with deprecatory > references to the unfortunate rat. > > For example, if you want to call somebody a rude word, it is usually > 'miserable rat'. In a sinking ship, it is usually rats that are the > deserters. And if you get badly affected, you are RATtled! Or if you > discover a gross mistake, it is 'rats'. For example: 'Rats! This condom is > torn!' Rats may have nothing to do with it, but they get the blame. > > On the other hand, mice have almost a cult status. For example, Ganapati > always rides a mouse, never a rat! Walt Disney made Mickey Mouse. Would it > have worked as a Rickey Rat? Nowadays, these computer geeks have elevated > the mouse to a demi-God status. Thus you have a scroll mouse and an optical > mouse. But ask any nerd what is the difference between a rat and a mouse and > nine out of ten times they will say " Eh, what? " > > Ashok: Doctor! I think we are missing the main point. > > Doctor: Main point? What? > > Ashok: What do I do about this rat bite, or mouse bite, if you prefer. I > checked all the books on Pediatrics, but the advice they give is confusing. > > Doctor: Yes! > talks of the brats, but nothing of the rats. > And the mention of the mice does not cut any ice! > > Ashok: Are you a poet of some sort? > > Doctor: (blushing) In fact, yes. In my college days, when I wooed my girl > friend, I had made a lovely poem: > You are my fortune! You are my Luck! > Lets go in the grass, to play and .. > > Ashok: Please! Please! No dirty jokes. My little niece is here. > > Doctor: (Looking at the niece) Oh! I forgot. I agree that play and MUCK is > dirty, but why should children object to it? In fact they are the ones who > muck around. And pigs also. Pigs also like to muck around. > > Ashok: Doctor, I do not think much of your poetry. > > Doctor: Even my girl friend didn't think much of it. That is why we never > married. (sigh) Anyway, about that Pig-bite of yours . > > Ashok: (sternly) Coming back to the Rat bite, my friends on the email have > advised me that the first thing to do is to wash it with soap and water. > > Doctor: I completely disagree with your friends. You could get into further > trouble. > > Ashok: How can you get into trouble with soap and water? > > Doctor: First of all, it is very difficult to catch the rat, or mouse. Then > while holding it to give it a bath is a spectacular feat. You might get a > couple of bites more in the bargain. > > Ashok: (smiting his head) Please forget the soap and water. What about > rabies? My Gujarati friend says that getting rabies from rats is extremely > rare. > > Doctor: Gujaratis can never be experts on rats. The do not have rats in > Gujarat. > > Ashok: (astonished) What? I thought that Surat was once a hot bed of plague > due to rats. And you are saying there are no rats in Gujarat? > > Doctor: Yes! There are no 'RATS' in Gujarat. There are only 'Rates', who > live in their living 'Hole'. Heh! Heh! > > Ashok: I must say that you have a very peculiar sense of humour. It is > almost as bad as Kishore's! (Who is a Gujarati by the way) Returning to the > topic under consideration, which is the treatment of Rat bite . > > Doctor: Oh yes! There was this famous guy from Germany, who dealt rats with > Music therapy. I forget his name. > > Ashok: Music? Doctor, are you sure? > > Doctor: Of course! It was a famous case. It made the headlines. In fact the > treatment was discontinued due to its side effects on small children. > > Ashok: Aren't all children small? > > Doctor: Eh? > > Ashok: My small joke. Please continue. > > Doctor: His name is on the tip of my tongue. It begins with a 'P'. > > Ashok: Morarji Desai! All his treatments begin with a pee and are at the tip > of the tongue. > > Doctor: No! No! This was from Germany. In fact it made news when I was very > small, studying in Kindergarten! What's the name of the town? I got it. It > was Hamlyn! > > Ashok: Hamlyn? > > Doctor: Yes! And the guy who used music therapy for rats was called the Pied > Piper. It was in the headlines right during my kindergarten days. > > Ashok: I think doctor, I had better leave. I have an important meeting. > > Doctor: What about that treatment? > > Ashok: I think I'll have it later. > > Doctor: Before you go, here's a small riddle for you. What do you get when > you hold rats upside down? > > Ashok: Look! I'm in no mood for riddles. > > Doctor: A Star! Ha ha! R-A-T-S upside down is S-T-A-R. Got it? > > Ashok: (hurriedly - before he holds the doctor upside down) Goodbye! > > Quickly grabs his niece and exits. > > > *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* > > Kishore Shah 1974 > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ ------------------------------ Website: www.mgims.org ------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Ashok, Ayesha is still the organiser ( I only stepped in to fix the venue as she is moving from one end of UK to another end). 23rd October is an MGIMS get together- so everyone from/ linked to MGIMS are welcome - so long as one can travel to Madhus, Southall! So, if you are serious i.e. not putting your foot where your key board is (just quating you)and you have the permission we would love to have you here. Ab Gusse ka baath aaya hai tho- I find it hard to lie (even behind a computer screen)- yes, I was mad and my bp was high for a long time but that was not why I " went into exile " . I REALLY do not have access to internet at home- till date!! Only after my withdrawl symptoms were getting the better of me and after Prabha and Neeti's persistent queries I have begun to acess the egroup during my working hours (for half an hour or so) but with a very guilty conscience!! Regarding our differing ideologies, thought process etc- I guess there are more sparks to come in the future!!?? Sadly, half an hour is not a lot if one wants to mail long replies. Also, I work only three days so it amounts to just 1.5 hrs/week. Have a good day. Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/20 Mon PM 12:43:00 GMT > To: mgims > Subject: Re: Rats! > > sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! > > renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. > > have a blessed day !1 > > ashok ' 84 > > p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! > > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Ashok, Ayesha is still the organiser ( I only stepped in to fix the venue as she is moving from one end of UK to another end). 23rd October is an MGIMS get together- so everyone from/ linked to MGIMS are welcome - so long as one can travel to Madhus, Southall! So, if you are serious i.e. not putting your foot where your key board is (just quating you)and you have the permission we would love to have you here. Ab Gusse ka baath aaya hai tho- I find it hard to lie (even behind a computer screen)- yes, I was mad and my bp was high for a long time but that was not why I " went into exile " . I REALLY do not have access to internet at home- till date!! Only after my withdrawl symptoms were getting the better of me and after Prabha and Neeti's persistent queries I have begun to acess the egroup during my working hours (for half an hour or so) but with a very guilty conscience!! Regarding our differing ideologies, thought process etc- I guess there are more sparks to come in the future!!?? Sadly, half an hour is not a lot if one wants to mail long replies. Also, I work only three days so it amounts to just 1.5 hrs/week. Have a good day. Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/20 Mon PM 12:43:00 GMT > To: mgims > Subject: Re: Rats! > > sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! > > renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. > > have a blessed day !1 > > ashok ' 84 > > p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! > > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Ashok, Ayesha is still the organiser ( I only stepped in to fix the venue as she is moving from one end of UK to another end). 23rd October is an MGIMS get together- so everyone from/ linked to MGIMS are welcome - so long as one can travel to Madhus, Southall! So, if you are serious i.e. not putting your foot where your key board is (just quating you)and you have the permission we would love to have you here. Ab Gusse ka baath aaya hai tho- I find it hard to lie (even behind a computer screen)- yes, I was mad and my bp was high for a long time but that was not why I " went into exile " . I REALLY do not have access to internet at home- till date!! Only after my withdrawl symptoms were getting the better of me and after Prabha and Neeti's persistent queries I have begun to acess the egroup during my working hours (for half an hour or so) but with a very guilty conscience!! Regarding our differing ideologies, thought process etc- I guess there are more sparks to come in the future!!?? Sadly, half an hour is not a lot if one wants to mail long replies. Also, I work only three days so it amounts to just 1.5 hrs/week. Have a good day. Sadhana'85 > > Date: 2004/09/20 Mon PM 12:43:00 GMT > To: mgims > Subject: Re: Rats! > > sadhana gussa thuko - looking forward to your personal invite - as you are the organiser in chief ! > > renuka is leaning towards granting the permission. > > have a blessed day !1 > > ashok ' 84 > > p.s. irrespective of our ideological differences and the palpitations i experience when i open your mails - i have always enjoyed to pick a ----- with you. we sorely missed you during your selfimposed exile..................welcome back...........and i promise i will behave....i will try sincerely to be moderate......i will keep my extremist views to myself...otherwise before you renuka will loose it !!! > > ----------------------------------------- Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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