Vacationing with Nada

[Guest guest]

, please don't let your nada manipulate you into going on vacation

with her if you don't feel safe about it. I recently made the mistake of

going along with a family plan for a reunion vacation with my stepnada, her

brothers & sisters & all the relatives on her side. I didn't want to go but

I thought, how bad could it be?? I'll have my BF with me for support, and

my sisters will be there. It was a big mistake. And she didn't even DO

anything outright to hurt me, she was as okay as she ever is; and while I'm

uncomfortable around her family because I know about the distortion

campaigns she's conducted against me, no one said or did anything derogatory

toward me.

The problem was, I just wasn't prepared to deal with my own emotions. Just

being around her causes fear, anxiety, and even physical manifestations;

headache, backache, I was a mess! I could not sleep for two nights before

we got there and had insomnia for the entire trip. Every time I got alone

with my boyfriend I was bawling my eyes out. He did everything he could for

me but was really overwhelmed with not knowing how to make it all right for

me. Eventually we left early and went to visit his gradparents with the

remaining vacation days. I slept like a baby as soon as we got to their

house. Thank God he was with me and we were able to leave - I don't know

how I would have managed on my own.

I won't be vacationing with her ever again. I felt terrible for putting him

through it, and I shouldn't have put MYSELF through it either.

If you do decide to go, make sure you are really emotionally prepared, and

definitely have an out so you can walk away if things take a turn for the

worse!! I would not recommend anyplace outside of driving distance, and you

should have a car there or plan some way to get yourself home if you have to

leave! Maybe try to include another person who you know will validate and

support you and can help you stand up to your nada if she starts with her

old routines.

But if you don't want to go, please, find a way out of it!!

Hugs,

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