Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Holly, Oh my.... My mother was really into sewing when I was younger. She always had matching outfits with me and then with my younger brother as well. When we were older, after she had ledt us she used to remind us all the time how she sewed all of our clothes and made us matching outfits. Too bad there is more to parenting. Now I am starting to feel guilty for talking about her. --- Holly Chermack wrote: > > --- Anon Mous wrote: > > > Also, back to the subject of clothes, I just > > remembered (in part > > from looking through this scrapbook) that my mom > > used to make > > *matching outfits* for us when I was little > > (including floppy > > hats). > > I have several photos of my mom and I wearing > matching > outfits. She did a lot of sewing when I was growing > up and made them for us. She also made some > matching > outfits for me and my cousin. I always felt she > wished my cousin were her daughter because they were > more alike, and I was more like my aunt. I hadn't > thought of that in a long time, but it certainly is > odd to have the matching outfits. > > Uck. > > Holly > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Holly, Oh my.... My mother was really into sewing when I was younger. She always had matching outfits with me and then with my younger brother as well. When we were older, after she had ledt us she used to remind us all the time how she sewed all of our clothes and made us matching outfits. Too bad there is more to parenting. Now I am starting to feel guilty for talking about her. --- Holly Chermack wrote: > > --- Anon Mous wrote: > > > Also, back to the subject of clothes, I just > > remembered (in part > > from looking through this scrapbook) that my mom > > used to make > > *matching outfits* for us when I was little > > (including floppy > > hats). > > I have several photos of my mom and I wearing > matching > outfits. She did a lot of sewing when I was growing > up and made them for us. She also made some > matching > outfits for me and my cousin. I always felt she > wished my cousin were her daughter because they were > more alike, and I was more like my aunt. I hadn't > thought of that in a long time, but it certainly is > odd to have the matching outfits. > > Uck. > > Holly > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 --- Lutman wrote: > Holly, > Oh my.... My mother was really into sewing when I > was > younger. She always had matching outfits with me and > then with my younger brother as well. When we were > older, after she had ledt us she used to remind us > all > the time how she sewed all of our clothes and made > us > matching outfits. Too bad there is more to > parenting. > Now I am starting to feel guilty for talking about > her. I hope that you won't feel guilty for talking about her. I consider groups like this to be a type of therapy and it's ok to work out things with other people or with your therapist. It's all in an effort to make things better for yourself and others. My mom used to make me feel guilty about getting counseling, but I refuse to let it bother me anymore. This group has helped me so much. Holly __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 --- Lutman wrote: > Holly, > Oh my.... My mother was really into sewing when I > was > younger. She always had matching outfits with me and > then with my younger brother as well. When we were > older, after she had ledt us she used to remind us > all > the time how she sewed all of our clothes and made > us > matching outfits. Too bad there is more to > parenting. > Now I am starting to feel guilty for talking about > her. I hope that you won't feel guilty for talking about her. I consider groups like this to be a type of therapy and it's ok to work out things with other people or with your therapist. It's all in an effort to make things better for yourself and others. My mom used to make me feel guilty about getting counseling, but I refuse to let it bother me anymore. This group has helped me so much. Holly __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2001 Report Share Posted December 14, 2001 Hi , The reason you feel *guilty* for 'talking' on this list about your mother is because you were CONTROLLED by her through FOG (ie, Fear, Obligation, and GUILT). Within the BPD-containing family there was/is an unwritten rule: " Thou shalt not reveal the family secrets " . I recommend that you read Bradshaw's book " The Family " . In it he writes about family secrets plus lots more stuff that went on behind the closed doors of Home Sweet Home. Six years ago I also felt as you expressed and my mother had already been deceased for a decade. That's the reason I began using the word " nada " to replace the word " mother " . It removed the emotional connotatons from using the " mother " word. Some KOs can and want to use the word 'mother' while others prefer to use the word 'nada'. Just use whichever you feel the more comfortable with. We KOs heal as we start sharing our stories and get validation and support from the other KOs who've walked in the same shoes. Cheers, Edith You wrote: << Holly, Oh my.... My mother was really into sewing when I was younger. She always had matching outfits with me and then with my younger brother as well. When we were older, after she had ledt us she used to remind us all the time how she sewed all of our clothes and made us matching outfits. Too bad there is more to parenting. Now I am starting to feel guilty for talking about her. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.