Re: Life events & I wish I could trust but I can't

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My brother waited for me... He was comatose. He could

not speak any longer. When I arrived he was extrememly

responsive although he still could not speak. My

brother had a message for me... His passing gave me

validation and truth and steered me towards the path

of healing.

I'm so sorry for your grief...

Cyndie

--- wrote:

> odd...but the last half of this post got cut off so

> I'll continue it up

> here.We thought we had another 2 days so sis's son

> went to visit a friend

> and her daughter went out for a break.I had noticed

> that she was sleeping

> peacefully and called my mother-in-law to reassure

> her all was well, hoping

> that would deter her from another visit. Mom replied

> that she was coming so

> I responded by saying that I would see her in a bit.

> Well, sis died right

> there and then.They say that people can chose the

> time of their death and

> that they can hear right up until the end so I can

> only imagine that the

> timing might have been prompted by the phone call.

> And I can't say I blamed

> her because I think I would do the same thing if our

> positions had been

> reversed. Then we had the funeral where my in-laws

> portrayed the devasted,

> grieving parents. I bought the whole picture until

> my husband told me that

> he thought my sis's comment of how she was glad she

> had made peace with her

> parents was a joke. He said this was just another

> example of how she was

> still the same bitch she had always been, that she

> had not done anything to

> make peace because she had never apologized to her

> parents. He said the only

> thing that had changed was that his mom and dad had

> gone to visit her

> because she was dying and they still thought the

> same about her that they

> always had. When I expressed my dismay and that this

> made me wonder if I

> could trust what his parents said and felt about me

> he got mad and told me

> how things were always just about me. Am I nuts

> here?

> Life events & I wish I could

> trust but I can't

>

>

> > I am feeling so sick right now I can't even find

> the right words to

> express it...my sister-in-law died after a brave

> fight with cancer...my

> husband and her other sister never did go to the

> hospital to see her (she

> was the so-called black sheep of the family) but my

> husband gave me his full

> suppport to be at the hospital virtually every day

> for the last few

> weeks...near the end, my sis shared with me how she

> had forgiven her parents

> ( my in-laws) ...I was really impressed at how my

> in-laws had put old

> grievances aside and gone up to visit sis ...I had

> been there as she neared

> the end and their loving concern seemed genuine...I

> also knew that my

> mother-in-law was bound and determined that she was

> going to be there when

> sis died...whether sis wanted her there or not...I

> also knew that the last

> thing sis wanted at her deathbed was her mother...I

> am sure many of you can

> relate...sis wanted just her children and her best

> friend to be

> there...well, the doctor and nurses had indicated

> that we had approx another

> 2 da

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

> >

> >

> > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> & concerns to

> ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on

> Eggshells, " a primer for

> non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

> (). For the table of

> contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

thank you Cyndie and thanks also to those who have expressed empathy...it's

a great comfort to know you understand

Life events & I wish I could

> > trust but I can't

> >

> >

> > > I am feeling so sick right now I can't even find

> > the right words to

> > express it...my sister-in-law died after a brave

> > fight with cancer...my

> > husband and her other sister never did go to the

> > hospital to see her (she

> > was the so-called black sheep of the family) but my

> > husband gave me his full

> > suppport to be at the hospital virtually every day

> > for the last few

> > weeks...near the end, my sis shared with me how she

> > had forgiven her parents

> > ( my in-laws) ...I was really impressed at how my

> > in-laws had put old

> > grievances aside and gone up to visit sis ...I had

> > been there as she neared

> > the end and their loving concern seemed genuine...I

> > also knew that my

> > mother-in-law was bound and determined that she was

> > going to be there when

> > sis died...whether sis wanted her there or not...I

> > also knew that the last

> > thing sis wanted at her deathbed was her mother...I

> > am sure many of you can

> > relate...sis wanted just her children and her best

> > friend to be

> > there...well, the doctor and nurses had indicated

> > that we had approx another

> > 2 da

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> > >

> > > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> > & concerns to

> > ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on

> > Eggshells, " a primer for

> > non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

> > (). For the table of

> > contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

thank you Cyndie and thanks also to those who have expressed empathy...it's

a great comfort to know you understand

Life events & I wish I could

> > trust but I can't

> >

> >

> > > I am feeling so sick right now I can't even find

> > the right words to

> > express it...my sister-in-law died after a brave

> > fight with cancer...my

> > husband and her other sister never did go to the

> > hospital to see her (she

> > was the so-called black sheep of the family) but my

> > husband gave me his full

> > suppport to be at the hospital virtually every day

> > for the last few

> > weeks...near the end, my sis shared with me how she

> > had forgiven her parents

> > ( my in-laws) ...I was really impressed at how my

> > in-laws had put old

> > grievances aside and gone up to visit sis ...I had

> > been there as she neared

> > the end and their loving concern seemed genuine...I

> > also knew that my

> > mother-in-law was bound and determined that she was

> > going to be there when

> > sis died...whether sis wanted her there or not...I

> > also knew that the last

> > thing sis wanted at her deathbed was her mother...I

> > am sure many of you can

> > relate...sis wanted just her children and her best

> > friend to be

> > there...well, the doctor and nurses had indicated

> > that we had approx another

> > 2 da

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> > >

> > > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> > & concerns to

> > ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on

> > Eggshells, " a primer for

> > non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

> > (). For the table of

> > contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

thank you Cyndie and thanks also to those who have expressed empathy...it's

a great comfort to know you understand

Life events & I wish I could

> > trust but I can't

> >

> >

> > > I am feeling so sick right now I can't even find

> > the right words to

> > express it...my sister-in-law died after a brave

> > fight with cancer...my

> > husband and her other sister never did go to the

> > hospital to see her (she

> > was the so-called black sheep of the family) but my

> > husband gave me his full

> > suppport to be at the hospital virtually every day

> > for the last few

> > weeks...near the end, my sis shared with me how she

> > had forgiven her parents

> > ( my in-laws) ...I was really impressed at how my

> > in-laws had put old

> > grievances aside and gone up to visit sis ...I had

> > been there as she neared

> > the end and their loving concern seemed genuine...I

> > also knew that my

> > mother-in-law was bound and determined that she was

> > going to be there when

> > sis died...whether sis wanted her there or not...I

> > also knew that the last

> > thing sis wanted at her deathbed was her mother...I

> > am sure many of you can

> > relate...sis wanted just her children and her best

> > friend to be

> > there...well, the doctor and nurses had indicated

> > that we had approx another

> > 2 da

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> > >

> > > To get off the list, send a blank message to

> > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions

> > & concerns to

> > ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on

> > Eggshells, " a primer for

> > non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

> > (). For the table of

> > contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >