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,

It sounds like you feel responsible for how your mother feels. I know I used to

feel the same way with everyone in my family, I felt like I was responsible for

their happiness, and if they were upset, it used to kill me inside. One of the

most empowering realities in my life was realizing I am NOT responsible for my

mother's feelings, whether good or bad, and in fact I'm not even responsible for

anyone else's feelings but my own.

If you want to go on this trip with your mother, then you should go. But if

you're having negative feelings about it, you have the right to say no. You may

be worried about " fallout " from your refusal to go, and this is understandable.

But again, if you can somehow remember that you are only responsible for you,

and your decisions and choices are every bit as important as anyone else's, then

maybe you can do what you need to do.

Hang in there! This road to healing is sometimes tough and sometimes it's

unclear, but it sounds like you're taking steps to take care of yourself.

<<I saw my nada last Sunday for the first time since I've been kicked out of my

house. I felt bad because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's day

so i invited her to see my apartment for the first time and to have brunch.

Everthing went ok, we talked but it was clear while she was talking that I

still feared telling her how I felt or my opinion on the things she talked

about. I sat there infront of her looking at her and wondering what it is

that makes me feel mute when i comes to telling her how i feel. She spoke of

my grandmother and said mean things about her as she always does and i didn't

agree with her but at the same time i just looked at her and nodded my head,

and replied with ahuh....ahuh. I'm not sure why I'm still so scared of her.

I'm 25 years old and I know she can't hit me anymore like she used to do and

I know i can respond to her if she yells at me. It's this invisible fear,

like I'm trapped in a glass box that makes it impossible to express myself to

her.

I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all those things. My

boyfriend always tries to tell me " you don't have to be scared anymore....she

can't hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I resent the way she

treated me when I was young and still the way she does now. I have so many

questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't want me to begin with. I

love my mother so much it really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so

badly for her to be the mom she shows to be every now and then. My mom can

be nice, funny, cool, and we can get along. It just always seems like

everything is on her terms.

My main issue is since I've seen her I did try to express one thing about

when i used to work for her. I worked for her for 7and a half years; I only

had one week of vacation the whole time, and she only paid me til the day I

left $21,000. Since I left they have hired a new person and this new person

makes $9,000. more than I did and she's doing the same thing I did without a

degree from college, she's younger and above all it hurts. My mother always

told me I couldn't get a higher paying job and never credited me for working

FULL time when the hours for all those years were 32,36 or 40 a week. I

worked all day for her then left to go to school at night. So while at

brunch I tried to tell her it wasn't fair and she tried to justify it then

said to me " look I don't want to argue... " and i felt helpless, she didn't

hear anything I said to her and nothing I said mattered either. My mother

has always demanded more from me and less from my older sister. I resent my

mother and sister for the past I don't know how many years!!! My sister just

got married and I didnt' speak with her the whole day of her wedding, I don't

like my sister at all and I could go on living without speaking to her again.

I know that might sound mean but it's how I feel!!

So now after I met with my mom she sent me an email, asking me if I would

like to go on an all expenses paid mini vacation with her to any place I

choose. The first thought I had when I read this was " What... what's this

about? Why is she doing this " Instead of " wow how nice! " So i emailed her

back softly saying I don't have anymore to go anywhere and thank you but not

right now. Part of the reason I made if soft was because I know she'll get

mad at me if I say NO. I don't want her mad at me but at the same time I'm

too scared to tell her how I really feel. So she emailed me back with " The

whole purpose of going on a short 3 day vacation to a warm place wa that you

and I could spend some quality time together. There would be no need for

pocket money since I was going to look into those all enclusive trips.

Please say yes...you will be disappointing me... lots and lots. Maybe it

could be around your birthday. Rethink your decision about the trip " I

can't deal with her pressure, and I hurt so much from this....something that

should be good is killing me. I hate hurting because of her, I hate feeling

this constant pain that sits inside of me with NO where to go. I just want

to.....i don't even know what I want. When will I get over this, when will I

stop hurting so much? My boyfriend doesn't understand and neither do my

friends... I feel like I'm the problem.

>>

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I saw my nada last Sunday for the first time since I've been kicked out of my

house. I felt bad because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's day so i

invited her to see my apartment for the first time and to have brunch.

Everthing went ok, we talked but it was clear while she was talking that I still

feared telling her how I felt or my opinion on the things she talked about. I

sat there infront of her looking at her and wondering what it is that makes me

feel mute when i comes to telling her how i feel. She spoke of my grandmother

and said mean things about her as she always does and i didn't agree with her

but at the same time i just looked at her and nodded my head, and replied with

ahuh....ahuh. I'm not sure why I'm still so scared of her. I'm 25 years old

and I know she can't hit me anymore like she used to do and I know i can respond

to her if she yells at me. It's this invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a

glass box that makes it impossible to express myself to her.

I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all those things. My boyfriend

always tries to tell me " you don't have to be scared anymore....she can't hurt

you anymore. " But his words don't help. I resent the way she treated me when I

was young and still the way she does now. I have so many questions as to why

she adopted me if she didn't want me to begin with. I love my mother so much it

really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so badly for her to be the mom she

shows to be every now and then. My mom can be nice, funny, cool, and we can get

along. It just always seems like everything is on her terms.

My main issue is since I've seen her I did try to express one thing about when i

used to work for her. I worked for her for 7and a half years; I only had one

week of vacation the whole time, and she only paid me til the day I left

$21,000. Since I left they have hired a new person and this new person makes

$9,000. more than I did and she's doing the same thing I did without a degree

from college, she's younger and above all it hurts. My mother always told me I

couldn't get a higher paying job and never credited me for working FULL time

when the hours for all those years were 32,36 or 40 a week. I worked all day

for her then left to go to school at night. So while at brunch I tried to tell

her it wasn't fair and she tried to justify it then said to me " look I don't

want to argue... " and i felt helpless, she didn't hear anything I said to her

and nothing I said mattered either. My mother has always demanded more from me

and less from my older sister. I resent my mother and sister for the past I

don't know how many years!!! My sister just got married and I didnt' speak with

her the whole day of her wedding, I don't like my sister at all and I could go

on living without speaking to her again. I know that might sound mean but it's

how I feel!!

So now after I met with my mom she sent me an email, asking me if I would like

to go on an all expenses paid mini vacation with her to any place I choose. The

first thought I had when I read this was " What... what's this about? Why is she

doing this " Instead of " wow how nice! " So i emailed her back softly saying I

don't have anymore to go anywhere and thank you but not right now. Part of the

reason I made if soft was because I know she'll get mad at me if I say NO. I

don't want her mad at me but at the same time I'm too scared to tell her how I

really feel. So she emailed me back with " The whole purpose of going on a short

3 day vacation to a warm place wa that you and I could spend some quality time

together. There would be no need for pocket money since I was going to look

into those all enclusive trips. Please say yes...you will be disappointing

me... lots and lots. Maybe it could be around your birthday. Rethink your

decision about the trip " I can't deal with her pressure, and I hurt so much

from this....something that should be good is killing me. I hate hurting

because of her, I hate feeling this constant pain that sits inside of me with NO

where to go. I just want to.....i don't even know what I want. When will I get

over this, when will I stop hurting so much? My boyfriend doesn't understand

and neither do my friends... I feel like I'm the problem.

---------------------------------

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wrote>>> I felt bad because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

day >>>>>

Did you feel bad because this is what you've been taught that good little girls

do???? You don't owe a nada anything!! Respect is earned and brings its own

rewards - nadas won't ever understand that!!!

>>>> I'm not sure why I'm still so scared of her. I'm 25 years old and I know

she can't hit me anymore like she used to do and I know i can respond to her if

she yells at me. It's this invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

makes it impossible to express myself to her.>>>>

You've been well trained to fear - evidently she hit you. A dog would have run

away, but a child has to stay and take the abuse. If you continue to

internalize this fear etc. you may wind up on meds or with fibromyalgia which

many nons seem to have. BE careful!!

>>>I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all those things. My

boyfriend always tries to tell me " you don't have to be scared anymore....she

can't hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I resent the way she

treated me when I was young and still the way she does now. I have so many

questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't want me to begin with. I love

my mother so much it really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so badly for

her to be the mom she shows to be every now and then. My mom can be nice,

funny, cool, and we can get along. It just always seems like everything is on

her terms.>>>>

This is part of growing up! Who cares if you disappoint her? Many times I

didn't try something because I was afraid to fail and hear her criticism.

I know now that the only failure is the failure to try. Life is much more fun

when you live it for you and not for someone else. I, too, am adopted and she

did it for the recognition of " what I good mother I am - look at what I've

done " . The adoption story occurs with BPs because they want to play a " role " .

You need to let go of the past about working for peanuts - consider it a

mistake, but you learned something from it - to stand up for what you are worth

and to set better boundaries in your next job - see? Chalk it up to paying for

a " learning experince " . She was wrong but it's in the past and there really

isn't anything more to do expecially since she won't discuss it.

About that vacation, is she doing it to hoover you? Watch out for BPs bearing

gifts - they generally have so many strings attached!! Do you really want to

go? Is it worth the pain?

, only you can make decisions, but first things first - learn to listen

to YOU. What do you want? Don't base what you do in life on what other people

will think. They don't have to live with the results. It sounds like your

boyfriend supports you - go girl!

Have you read SWOE or Borderline Mother yet? They will give you more answers.

Also, Toxic Parents and Better Boundaries.

Ilene in TX

-

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wrote>>> I felt bad because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

day >>>>>

Did you feel bad because this is what you've been taught that good little girls

do???? You don't owe a nada anything!! Respect is earned and brings its own

rewards - nadas won't ever understand that!!!

>>>> I'm not sure why I'm still so scared of her. I'm 25 years old and I know

she can't hit me anymore like she used to do and I know i can respond to her if

she yells at me. It's this invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

makes it impossible to express myself to her.>>>>

You've been well trained to fear - evidently she hit you. A dog would have run

away, but a child has to stay and take the abuse. If you continue to

internalize this fear etc. you may wind up on meds or with fibromyalgia which

many nons seem to have. BE careful!!

>>>I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all those things. My

boyfriend always tries to tell me " you don't have to be scared anymore....she

can't hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I resent the way she

treated me when I was young and still the way she does now. I have so many

questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't want me to begin with. I love

my mother so much it really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so badly for

her to be the mom she shows to be every now and then. My mom can be nice,

funny, cool, and we can get along. It just always seems like everything is on

her terms.>>>>

This is part of growing up! Who cares if you disappoint her? Many times I

didn't try something because I was afraid to fail and hear her criticism.

I know now that the only failure is the failure to try. Life is much more fun

when you live it for you and not for someone else. I, too, am adopted and she

did it for the recognition of " what I good mother I am - look at what I've

done " . The adoption story occurs with BPs because they want to play a " role " .

You need to let go of the past about working for peanuts - consider it a

mistake, but you learned something from it - to stand up for what you are worth

and to set better boundaries in your next job - see? Chalk it up to paying for

a " learning experince " . She was wrong but it's in the past and there really

isn't anything more to do expecially since she won't discuss it.

About that vacation, is she doing it to hoover you? Watch out for BPs bearing

gifts - they generally have so many strings attached!! Do you really want to

go? Is it worth the pain?

, only you can make decisions, but first things first - learn to listen

to YOU. What do you want? Don't base what you do in life on what other people

will think. They don't have to live with the results. It sounds like your

boyfriend supports you - go girl!

Have you read SWOE or Borderline Mother yet? They will give you more answers.

Also, Toxic Parents and Better Boundaries.

Ilene in TX

-

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wrote>>> I felt bad because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

day >>>>>

Did you feel bad because this is what you've been taught that good little girls

do???? You don't owe a nada anything!! Respect is earned and brings its own

rewards - nadas won't ever understand that!!!

>>>> I'm not sure why I'm still so scared of her. I'm 25 years old and I know

she can't hit me anymore like she used to do and I know i can respond to her if

she yells at me. It's this invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

makes it impossible to express myself to her.>>>>

You've been well trained to fear - evidently she hit you. A dog would have run

away, but a child has to stay and take the abuse. If you continue to

internalize this fear etc. you may wind up on meds or with fibromyalgia which

many nons seem to have. BE careful!!

>>>I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all those things. My

boyfriend always tries to tell me " you don't have to be scared anymore....she

can't hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I resent the way she

treated me when I was young and still the way she does now. I have so many

questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't want me to begin with. I love

my mother so much it really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so badly for

her to be the mom she shows to be every now and then. My mom can be nice,

funny, cool, and we can get along. It just always seems like everything is on

her terms.>>>>

This is part of growing up! Who cares if you disappoint her? Many times I

didn't try something because I was afraid to fail and hear her criticism.

I know now that the only failure is the failure to try. Life is much more fun

when you live it for you and not for someone else. I, too, am adopted and she

did it for the recognition of " what I good mother I am - look at what I've

done " . The adoption story occurs with BPs because they want to play a " role " .

You need to let go of the past about working for peanuts - consider it a

mistake, but you learned something from it - to stand up for what you are worth

and to set better boundaries in your next job - see? Chalk it up to paying for

a " learning experince " . She was wrong but it's in the past and there really

isn't anything more to do expecially since she won't discuss it.

About that vacation, is she doing it to hoover you? Watch out for BPs bearing

gifts - they generally have so many strings attached!! Do you really want to

go? Is it worth the pain?

, only you can make decisions, but first things first - learn to listen

to YOU. What do you want? Don't base what you do in life on what other people

will think. They don't have to live with the results. It sounds like your

boyfriend supports you - go girl!

Have you read SWOE or Borderline Mother yet? They will give you more answers.

Also, Toxic Parents and Better Boundaries.

Ilene in TX

-

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,

You are not the problem. She is. You are very nice

and caring. Don't feel guilty for being angry at her,

you have every right.

At least you know this at 25. That's good. You are

doing the best you can in a really bad situation.

Don't give up on you. Chin up! You know how you feel

and it is okay to feel that way.

Take care of yourself,

--- wrote:

>

> I saw my nada last Sunday for the first time since

> I've been kicked out of my house. I felt bad

> because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

> day so i invited her to see my apartment for the

> first time and to have brunch. Everthing went ok,

> we talked but it was clear while she was talking

> that I still feared telling her how I felt or my

> opinion on the things she talked about. I sat there

> infront of her looking at her and wondering what it

> is that makes me feel mute when i comes to telling

> her how i feel. She spoke of my grandmother and

> said mean things about her as she always does and i

> didn't agree with her but at the same time i just

> looked at her and nodded my head, and replied with

> ahuh....ahuh. I'm not sure why I'm still so scared

> of her. I'm 25 years old and I know she can't hit

> me anymore like she used to do and I know i can

> respond to her if she yells at me. It's this

> invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

> makes it impossible to express myself to her.

>

> I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all

> those things. My boyfriend always tries to tell me

> " you don't have to be scared anymore....she can't

> hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I

> resent the way she treated me when I was young and

> still the way she does now. I have so many

> questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't

> want me to begin with. I love my mother so much it

> really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so

> badly for her to be the mom she shows to be every

> now and then. My mom can be nice, funny, cool, and

> we can get along. It just always seems like

> everything is on her terms.

>

> My main issue is since I've seen her I did try to

> express one thing about when i used to work for her.

> I worked for her for 7and a half years; I only had

> one week of vacation the whole time, and she only

> paid me til the day I left $21,000. Since I left

> they have hired a new person and this new person

> makes $9,000. more than I did and she's doing the

> same thing I did without a degree from college,

> she's younger and above all it hurts. My mother

> always told me I couldn't get a higher paying job

> and never credited me for working FULL time when the

> hours for all those years were 32,36 or 40 a week.

> I worked all day for her then left to go to school

> at night. So while at brunch I tried to tell her it

> wasn't fair and she tried to justify it then said to

> me " look I don't want to argue... " and i felt

> helpless, she didn't hear anything I said to her and

> nothing I said mattered either. My mother has

> always demanded more from me and less from my older

> sister. I resent my mother and sister for the past

> I don't know how many years!!! My sister just got

> married and I didnt' speak with her the whole day of

> her wedding, I don't like my sister at all and I

> could go on living without speaking to her again. I

> know that might sound mean but it's how I feel!!

>

> So now after I met with my mom she sent me an email,

> asking me if I would like to go on an all expenses

> paid mini vacation with her to any place I choose.

> The first thought I had when I read this was

> " What... what's this about? Why is she doing this "

> Instead of " wow how nice! " So i emailed her back

> softly saying I don't have anymore to go anywhere

> and thank you but not right now. Part of the reason

> I made if soft was because I know she'll get mad at

> me if I say NO. I don't want her mad at me but at

> the same time I'm too scared to tell her how I

> really feel. So she emailed me back with " The whole

> purpose of going on a short 3 day vacation to a warm

> place wa that you and I could spend some quality

> time together. There would be no need for pocket

> money since I was going to look into those all

> enclusive trips. Please say yes...you will be

> disappointing me... lots and lots. Maybe it could

> be around your birthday. Rethink your decision

> about the trip " I can't deal with her pressure,

> and I hurt so much from this....something that

> should be good is killing me. I hate hurting

> because of her, I hate feeling this constant pain

> that sits inside of me with NO where to go. I just

> want to.....i don't even know what I want. When

> will I get over this, when will I stop hurting so

> much? My boyfriend doesn't understand and neither

> do my friends... I feel like I'm the problem.

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

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Share on other sites

,

You are not the problem. She is. You are very nice

and caring. Don't feel guilty for being angry at her,

you have every right.

At least you know this at 25. That's good. You are

doing the best you can in a really bad situation.

Don't give up on you. Chin up! You know how you feel

and it is okay to feel that way.

Take care of yourself,

--- wrote:

>

> I saw my nada last Sunday for the first time since

> I've been kicked out of my house. I felt bad

> because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

> day so i invited her to see my apartment for the

> first time and to have brunch. Everthing went ok,

> we talked but it was clear while she was talking

> that I still feared telling her how I felt or my

> opinion on the things she talked about. I sat there

> infront of her looking at her and wondering what it

> is that makes me feel mute when i comes to telling

> her how i feel. She spoke of my grandmother and

> said mean things about her as she always does and i

> didn't agree with her but at the same time i just

> looked at her and nodded my head, and replied with

> ahuh....ahuh. I'm not sure why I'm still so scared

> of her. I'm 25 years old and I know she can't hit

> me anymore like she used to do and I know i can

> respond to her if she yells at me. It's this

> invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

> makes it impossible to express myself to her.

>

> I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all

> those things. My boyfriend always tries to tell me

> " you don't have to be scared anymore....she can't

> hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I

> resent the way she treated me when I was young and

> still the way she does now. I have so many

> questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't

> want me to begin with. I love my mother so much it

> really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so

> badly for her to be the mom she shows to be every

> now and then. My mom can be nice, funny, cool, and

> we can get along. It just always seems like

> everything is on her terms.

>

> My main issue is since I've seen her I did try to

> express one thing about when i used to work for her.

> I worked for her for 7and a half years; I only had

> one week of vacation the whole time, and she only

> paid me til the day I left $21,000. Since I left

> they have hired a new person and this new person

> makes $9,000. more than I did and she's doing the

> same thing I did without a degree from college,

> she's younger and above all it hurts. My mother

> always told me I couldn't get a higher paying job

> and never credited me for working FULL time when the

> hours for all those years were 32,36 or 40 a week.

> I worked all day for her then left to go to school

> at night. So while at brunch I tried to tell her it

> wasn't fair and she tried to justify it then said to

> me " look I don't want to argue... " and i felt

> helpless, she didn't hear anything I said to her and

> nothing I said mattered either. My mother has

> always demanded more from me and less from my older

> sister. I resent my mother and sister for the past

> I don't know how many years!!! My sister just got

> married and I didnt' speak with her the whole day of

> her wedding, I don't like my sister at all and I

> could go on living without speaking to her again. I

> know that might sound mean but it's how I feel!!

>

> So now after I met with my mom she sent me an email,

> asking me if I would like to go on an all expenses

> paid mini vacation with her to any place I choose.

> The first thought I had when I read this was

> " What... what's this about? Why is she doing this "

> Instead of " wow how nice! " So i emailed her back

> softly saying I don't have anymore to go anywhere

> and thank you but not right now. Part of the reason

> I made if soft was because I know she'll get mad at

> me if I say NO. I don't want her mad at me but at

> the same time I'm too scared to tell her how I

> really feel. So she emailed me back with " The whole

> purpose of going on a short 3 day vacation to a warm

> place wa that you and I could spend some quality

> time together. There would be no need for pocket

> money since I was going to look into those all

> enclusive trips. Please say yes...you will be

> disappointing me... lots and lots. Maybe it could

> be around your birthday. Rethink your decision

> about the trip " I can't deal with her pressure,

> and I hurt so much from this....something that

> should be good is killing me. I hate hurting

> because of her, I hate feeling this constant pain

> that sits inside of me with NO where to go. I just

> want to.....i don't even know what I want. When

> will I get over this, when will I stop hurting so

> much? My boyfriend doesn't understand and neither

> do my friends... I feel like I'm the problem.

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

,

You are not the problem. She is. You are very nice

and caring. Don't feel guilty for being angry at her,

you have every right.

At least you know this at 25. That's good. You are

doing the best you can in a really bad situation.

Don't give up on you. Chin up! You know how you feel

and it is okay to feel that way.

Take care of yourself,

--- wrote:

>

> I saw my nada last Sunday for the first time since

> I've been kicked out of my house. I felt bad

> because I never saw her for her birthday or Mother's

> day so i invited her to see my apartment for the

> first time and to have brunch. Everthing went ok,

> we talked but it was clear while she was talking

> that I still feared telling her how I felt or my

> opinion on the things she talked about. I sat there

> infront of her looking at her and wondering what it

> is that makes me feel mute when i comes to telling

> her how i feel. She spoke of my grandmother and

> said mean things about her as she always does and i

> didn't agree with her but at the same time i just

> looked at her and nodded my head, and replied with

> ahuh....ahuh. I'm not sure why I'm still so scared

> of her. I'm 25 years old and I know she can't hit

> me anymore like she used to do and I know i can

> respond to her if she yells at me. It's this

> invisible fear, like I'm trapped in a glass box that

> makes it impossible to express myself to her.

>

> I'm afraid of making her mad, disappointing her all

> those things. My boyfriend always tries to tell me

> " you don't have to be scared anymore....she can't

> hurt you anymore. " But his words don't help. I

> resent the way she treated me when I was young and

> still the way she does now. I have so many

> questions as to why she adopted me if she didn't

> want me to begin with. I love my mother so much it

> really hurts. The pain is unreal, and I want so

> badly for her to be the mom she shows to be every

> now and then. My mom can be nice, funny, cool, and

> we can get along. It just always seems like

> everything is on her terms.

>

> My main issue is since I've seen her I did try to

> express one thing about when i used to work for her.

> I worked for her for 7and a half years; I only had

> one week of vacation the whole time, and she only

> paid me til the day I left $21,000. Since I left

> they have hired a new person and this new person

> makes $9,000. more than I did and she's doing the

> same thing I did without a degree from college,

> she's younger and above all it hurts. My mother

> always told me I couldn't get a higher paying job

> and never credited me for working FULL time when the

> hours for all those years were 32,36 or 40 a week.

> I worked all day for her then left to go to school

> at night. So while at brunch I tried to tell her it

> wasn't fair and she tried to justify it then said to

> me " look I don't want to argue... " and i felt

> helpless, she didn't hear anything I said to her and

> nothing I said mattered either. My mother has

> always demanded more from me and less from my older

> sister. I resent my mother and sister for the past

> I don't know how many years!!! My sister just got

> married and I didnt' speak with her the whole day of

> her wedding, I don't like my sister at all and I

> could go on living without speaking to her again. I

> know that might sound mean but it's how I feel!!

>

> So now after I met with my mom she sent me an email,

> asking me if I would like to go on an all expenses

> paid mini vacation with her to any place I choose.

> The first thought I had when I read this was

> " What... what's this about? Why is she doing this "

> Instead of " wow how nice! " So i emailed her back

> softly saying I don't have anymore to go anywhere

> and thank you but not right now. Part of the reason

> I made if soft was because I know she'll get mad at

> me if I say NO. I don't want her mad at me but at

> the same time I'm too scared to tell her how I

> really feel. So she emailed me back with " The whole

> purpose of going on a short 3 day vacation to a warm

> place wa that you and I could spend some quality

> time together. There would be no need for pocket

> money since I was going to look into those all

> enclusive trips. Please say yes...you will be

> disappointing me... lots and lots. Maybe it could

> be around your birthday. Rethink your decision

> about the trip " I can't deal with her pressure,

> and I hurt so much from this....something that

> should be good is killing me. I hate hurting

> because of her, I hate feeling this constant pain

> that sits inside of me with NO where to go. I just

> want to.....i don't even know what I want. When

> will I get over this, when will I stop hurting so

> much? My boyfriend doesn't understand and neither

> do my friends... I feel like I'm the problem.

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

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