WTO List Guidelines (1st half)

[Guest guest]

Welcome To Oz List Guidelines

The Guidelines appear in twelve sections, as follows:

1 - Intro to WTO

2 - Technical Stuff

3 - List Facilitation

4 - List Netiquette

5 - Posting and Getting Responses

6 - Eggshell Resources, Abbreviations

7 - Offended? Send Problems to Us

8 - Confidentiality

9 - Humor and Off Topic Posts

10 - The Family of WTO Lists

11 - Live Chat, The Buddy System

12 - BPs on the WTO Lists

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Section 1. INTRODUCTION to Welcome To Oz

Welcome to the Welcome To Oz group of lists!

Our mission is to help people who care about someone with Borderline

Personality Disorder take control of their lives, understand the

disorder and learn to cope with BPD behavior while taking care of

themselves. We are a support group, NOT a therapy group. You can belong

to any number of lists you choose and qualify for, but these guidelines

are written in the singular.

If you've been on other lists, you may have breezed through the

guidelines. This list is different. It's vital that you read though

these. After five years facilitating this list, we know what your

questions will be, where problems surface, and the pitfalls people find.

Take advantage of our knowledge. As Jerry McGuire said, let US help YOU.

And all will be well.

WHAT WILL THIS LIST DO FOR ME?

* Give you feedback, a sounding board and reality check.

* Give you a gut level feeling you are NOT ALONE in your struggles.

People have said that two weeks on this list has helped them more than

months of therapy.

* Help you understand that no matter how bad you have been told you are,

you are not a bad person. You just live with someone who may have

convinced you of that.

* Help you laugh when you are feeling down. Help you cry when something

hits home.

If you have never been on an Internet support list, we think you will

like it. You can access it any time (not just Tuesdays from 7-9 pm),

they're totally anonymous, you can save insightful posts, journaling

helps, and you can get support from strangers and be in a ratty bathrobe

at the same time! Many people find that these lists become a lifeline

and that members become important friends.

Please bear with us by fully reading the guidelines. They are very

important. By joining the list(s), you acknowledge that you have read

and fully understand these guidelines.

You can always voice your opinion, concern, disagreement, or other ideas

about a guideline. These are your lists. We only ask that you do it in a

constructive way. Some guidelines need to stay because without them, the

list would no longer be a safe place.

But some guidelines are open for general discussion, *first* with the

facilitators so we can do it in an organized way. (Please just don't

post something like, " Hey we all ought to be able to flame anyone, "

because you may not know the history behind that guideline or know it's

been hashed over many times in the last five years.)

Anyone who posts to WTO is acknowledging the following: they have read

and accepted these guidelines. List members also agree that although

people may offer advice, they are still responsible for the decisions

they make in their own life.

Some of the guidelines are expressed as rights and responsibilities. For

example:

* It is your RIGHT to set personal limits around this list. However, it

is your RESPONSIBILITY to accept if others don't do so and not take it

personally.

This list is, in a way, a safe world of its own that can help teach you

the tools you need for coping with BPD behavior. You may find you need

to learn to set personal boundaries such as:

a) Not feeling the need to like everyone or read their posts.

Not rescuing others in trouble or who have major problems.

c) Not doing for others what they can do for themselves.

d) Not responding to attempts to bait you and pull you into someone

else's drama or chaos.

e) Ask for what you need from the list if you are not getting it.

f) Learning it's possible to disagree with ideas without flaming a

person or expecting to get flamed in return.

g) Not feeling the need to read every post and respond because you'd

rather do something else.

f) Bringing up concerns to the facilitators instead of letting them go.

g) Acknowledging other people will live their lives the way they want,

not the way you want.

h) Also, please feel free to offer support, suggestions, validation,

your own stories and so forth. But please refrain from giving direct

advice about major life decisions. Our purpose is to empower people to

make their own decisions.

If you would like a Buddy to help you get acquainted, please write

WelcomeToOz-owneregroups. Buddies ONLY help with general list

matters; they are people who make newcomers feel comfortable and answer

basic list questions. They are NOT sponsors, counselors, or expected to

solve anyone's problems.

If you would like to BE a buddy at some point, please let us know too!

We usually get more requests FOR buddies, so if you feel comfortable on

this list, please think of helping someone else get up to speed.

Finally, this is free and welcome to all who abide by the guidelines.

But you are welcome if you would like to make a donation to help keep it

running; just let the moderators know. If each person gave only $1 per

month we could run the lists easily AND do more toward raising the

visibility of BPD and its effects on nons.

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Section 2. TECHNICAL STUFF

Yahoogroups: On Yahoogroups (formerly eGroups), people take care of all

their own list-related maintenance: Subscribing, Unsubscribing, changing

to Digest (where the posts arrive throughout the day in packets of 25,

rather than individually), and setting their account to No Mail.

WTO Groups: To initially subscribe to any WTO group, one must first go

to www.yahoogroups.com, sign up using a password, and remember that

password.

If someone else has access to your Internet account, please use a unique

password and DO NOT click on REMEMBER MY NAME. If you do, someone else

can send messages from your account.

Going to the unique URL of the list you belong to/want to belong to

allows you to do everything you need to do, such as subbing, unsubbing,

etc. Please note that the software does not permit attachments or

forwards of mail.

The unique URLs of the WTO lists are:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WelcomeToOz

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MiniWTO

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOstaying

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOdivorcing

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOtransitions (between the above two)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ModOasis (NonBP adult children of BPs)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOsibling (siblings of BPs)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOparenting (co-parenting with a BP)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOgrandparents

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOwomenonly

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOmenonly

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOGLBT

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOchristian

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOnon-only

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOatwork

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WTOchat

SUBSCRIBING: Once one is subscribed to a WTO group, one can also

subscribe to another WTO group by sending an empty email containing the

name of that group (from the list above), such as in the example below

for WTOchat:

WTOchat-subscribe

UNSUBSCRIBING: