Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 No wonder we got confused... And this kept us from maintaining any lasting friendship ties with people outside our dysfunctional families... Pirjo > > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... > > Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my > mother just decided she didn't like the school I was > attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to > a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I > was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school > district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). > But then my dad moved so I went back to the private > school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't > afford it. This time I switched back to the original > school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it > or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... > I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. > > Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and > houses? > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 --- vinna@... wrote: > No wonder we got confused... And this kept us from > maintaining any > lasting friendship ties with people outside our > dysfunctional > families... > Pirjo > AH HA!!!! So maybe THAT'S why they did it!!! ;-) __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 It sure looks like some kind of conspiration, but I don't think we really existed as individualls in their minds/hearts... Pirjo > > No wonder we got confused... And this kept us from > > maintaining any > > lasting friendship ties with people outside our > > dysfunctional > > families... > > Pirjo > > > > > AH HA!!!! So maybe THAT'S why they did it!!! ;-) > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 It sure looks like some kind of conspiration, but I don't think we really existed as individualls in their minds/hearts... Pirjo > > No wonder we got confused... And this kept us from > > maintaining any > > lasting friendship ties with people outside our > > dysfunctional > > families... > > Pirjo > > > > > AH HA!!!! So maybe THAT'S why they did it!!! ;-) > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 It sure looks like some kind of conspiration, but I don't think we really existed as individualls in their minds/hearts... Pirjo > > No wonder we got confused... And this kept us from > > maintaining any > > lasting friendship ties with people outside our > > dysfunctional > > families... > > Pirjo > > > > > AH HA!!!! So maybe THAT'S why they did it!!! ;-) > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Hi! Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily grounded, place to place --- vinna@... wrote: > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my mother just decided she didn't like the school I was attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). But then my dad moved so I went back to the private school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't afford it. This time I switched back to the original school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and houses? __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Hi! Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily grounded, place to place --- vinna@... wrote: > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my mother just decided she didn't like the school I was attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). But then my dad moved so I went back to the private school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't afford it. This time I switched back to the original school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and houses? __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Hi! Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily grounded, place to place --- vinna@... wrote: > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my mother just decided she didn't like the school I was attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). But then my dad moved so I went back to the private school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't afford it. This time I switched back to the original school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and houses? __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 I moved, too. My nada taught school in Houston because the pay was higher than in East Tx where my granddad lived. We spent the summer with him, which was our permanent home, and during the school year we lived somewhere in an apt and went " home " on the weekends. This lasted until he died after I finished 6th gr. and then we only went " home " on occasional weekends. At least nada kept me in the same school for 7-9th and then 10-12th. BUT, we went back to East Tx every summer - so I had no summer job or friends except some neighbors. She didn't see the point to my having a job - it interfered with her vacation travel plans. I also had advanced in ice skating and wanted to take some special classes - but that didn't matter either. It boils down to - the queen was selfish...... Oh well,..... Hugs, Ilene in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 I moved, too. My nada taught school in Houston because the pay was higher than in East Tx where my granddad lived. We spent the summer with him, which was our permanent home, and during the school year we lived somewhere in an apt and went " home " on the weekends. This lasted until he died after I finished 6th gr. and then we only went " home " on occasional weekends. At least nada kept me in the same school for 7-9th and then 10-12th. BUT, we went back to East Tx every summer - so I had no summer job or friends except some neighbors. She didn't see the point to my having a job - it interfered with her vacation travel plans. I also had advanced in ice skating and wanted to take some special classes - but that didn't matter either. It boils down to - the queen was selfish...... Oh well,..... Hugs, Ilene in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Dear Goodness. How did I miss all of these messages? We moved around so much that I couldn't make/keep friends for very long either. We lived in Columbia, SC, St /St Croix in the Virgin Islands, Miami and Fort Lauderdale, back to ton SC, then back to Columbia! Then my parents moved to Atlanta, Asheville, and back to Atlanta. And NOPE...they weren't in the military (the most commonly asked question). My dad works for the phone company. I never thought about it, but I wonder if you're right. They didn't want any close ties with anyone, and maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were doing to ME. I know that when I reported them to my band director in the 10th grade they FREAKED! The poor guy was shaking in his boots so badly that he just let the whole thing drop. I wonder if he ever thought about what was happening to me at home? Anyhoo, I'm glad that's in the past. The one positive aspect of having moved around so much is that I look forward to change now. I'm not scared of it, and I look forward to the new adventures in store for me. That's a good thing too. I've got at least two more moves coming in the next 10 years *ouch*. I think my furniture may fall apart before I do!!! Have yawselves a great day now! Ya heah?! > >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: <ModOasis > >Subject: Re: place to place >Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 10:25:40 -0500 > >Hi! >Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we >moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. >Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! >From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that >that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily >grounded, > place to place > > > --- vinna@... wrote: > > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... > > Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my > mother just decided she didn't like the school I was > attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to > a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I > was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school > district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). > But then my dad moved so I went back to the private > school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't > afford it. This time I switched back to the original > school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it > or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... > I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. > > Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and > houses? > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Dear Goodness. How did I miss all of these messages? We moved around so much that I couldn't make/keep friends for very long either. We lived in Columbia, SC, St /St Croix in the Virgin Islands, Miami and Fort Lauderdale, back to ton SC, then back to Columbia! Then my parents moved to Atlanta, Asheville, and back to Atlanta. And NOPE...they weren't in the military (the most commonly asked question). My dad works for the phone company. I never thought about it, but I wonder if you're right. They didn't want any close ties with anyone, and maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were doing to ME. I know that when I reported them to my band director in the 10th grade they FREAKED! The poor guy was shaking in his boots so badly that he just let the whole thing drop. I wonder if he ever thought about what was happening to me at home? Anyhoo, I'm glad that's in the past. The one positive aspect of having moved around so much is that I look forward to change now. I'm not scared of it, and I look forward to the new adventures in store for me. That's a good thing too. I've got at least two more moves coming in the next 10 years *ouch*. I think my furniture may fall apart before I do!!! Have yawselves a great day now! Ya heah?! > >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: <ModOasis > >Subject: Re: place to place >Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 10:25:40 -0500 > >Hi! >Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we >moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. >Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! >From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that >that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily >grounded, > place to place > > > --- vinna@... wrote: > > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... > > Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my > mother just decided she didn't like the school I was > attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to > a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I > was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school > district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). > But then my dad moved so I went back to the private > school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't > afford it. This time I switched back to the original > school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it > or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... > I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. > > Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and > houses? > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Dear Goodness. How did I miss all of these messages? We moved around so much that I couldn't make/keep friends for very long either. We lived in Columbia, SC, St /St Croix in the Virgin Islands, Miami and Fort Lauderdale, back to ton SC, then back to Columbia! Then my parents moved to Atlanta, Asheville, and back to Atlanta. And NOPE...they weren't in the military (the most commonly asked question). My dad works for the phone company. I never thought about it, but I wonder if you're right. They didn't want any close ties with anyone, and maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were doing to ME. I know that when I reported them to my band director in the 10th grade they FREAKED! The poor guy was shaking in his boots so badly that he just let the whole thing drop. I wonder if he ever thought about what was happening to me at home? Anyhoo, I'm glad that's in the past. The one positive aspect of having moved around so much is that I look forward to change now. I'm not scared of it, and I look forward to the new adventures in store for me. That's a good thing too. I've got at least two more moves coming in the next 10 years *ouch*. I think my furniture may fall apart before I do!!! Have yawselves a great day now! Ya heah?! > >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: <ModOasis > >Subject: Re: place to place >Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 10:25:40 -0500 > >Hi! >Yessss!!! We moved alot too!!! After being born in Alaska, at age six we >moved to Michigan, I think we saw more of Michigan than anyone should. >Atlanta,Detroit,Almont,Unionville,Cheboygan,Alpena,back to Atlanta twice! >From age 8-16. Unreal. Couldn't get close to anyone. I realize now that >that was the point! So strange yet it make a sort of sense. Happily >grounded, > place to place > > > --- vinna@... wrote: > > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... > > Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my > mother just decided she didn't like the school I was > attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to > a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I > was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school > district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). > But then my dad moved so I went back to the private > school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't > afford it. This time I switched back to the original > school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it > or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... > I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. > > Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and > houses? > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 I don't think there was any point as far as we others were concerned regarding the moving about. The point was that my fada was dissatisfied and couldn't care a damn about anybody else's feelings! Pirjo PS The point is still the same, but now he spends 75% of his time at a nursing home and now we can also neglect his feelings... Exept occasional phone calls when he lays the guilt trip on you again... and again... and again... > > It sure is - I can really relate to this feeling of > > invisibleness. My fada acted as the rest of the family > > were paper dolls when I grew up. He moved wherever he > > wanted whenever he wanted - and that was sixteen > > times during my eighteen years with my parents.... > > Wow. My parents moved us around too. When I was 7 my > mother just decided she didn't like the school I was > attending. (I have never heard why). So I was switched to > a private school. But we couldn't afford it. So when I > was 8 I switched to a public school in my Dad's school > district (my parents were divorced and lived separately). > But then my dad moved so I went back to the private > school... When I was 9 I switched again because we couldn't > afford it. This time I switched back to the original > school. Apparently my mom forgot that she didn't like it > or it was ok now... or something. You get the idea... > I've been to 13 or so schools in 20 years of education. > > Has this happened to other KO's? Switching schools, and > houses? > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Of course your ambitions didn't matter Ilene This is so sad... The saddest thing is this kind of disrespect from the outside has spread to meneglecting my own feelings and ambitions too. I am fifty and feel as I've let down myself badly. The latest issue being I noticed my exBP has managed to cheat me about a lot of money ... And I thought he was a finished chapter... When will I be BP-free in my life? I keep diagnosing everybody I meet, just to be on the safe side... Anybody that awakens my mothering instincts is a no-no I think? Pirjo PS my fada is an expert at awakening my mothering instincts. My mother comes a good second > > > I moved, too. My nada taught school in Houston because the pay was higher than > in East Tx where my granddad lived. > We spent the summer with him, which was our permanent home, and during the > school year we lived somewhere in an apt and went " home " on the weekends. This > lasted until he died after I finished 6th gr. and then we only went " home " on > occasional weekends. At least nada kept me in the same school for 7-9th and > then 10-12th. BUT, we went back to East Tx > every summer - so I had no summer job or friends except some neighbors. She > didn't see the point to my having a job - it interfered with her vacation travel > plans. I also had advanced in ice skating and wanted to take some special > classes - but that didn't matter either. It boils down to - the queen was > selfish...... > Oh well,..... > > Hugs, > Ilene in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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