4. LIST NETIQUETTE: Guideline of the Day

[Guest guest]

The 12 sections of the " WTO Guidelines "

are posted at the rate of one per day, as below:

1 - Intro to WTO

2 - Technical Stuff

3 - List Facilitation

4 - List Netiquette

5 - Posting and Getting Responses

6 - Eggshell Resources, Abbreviations

7 - Offended? Send Problems to Us

8 - Confidentiality

9 - Humor and Off Topic Posts

10 - The Family of WTO Lists

11 - Live Chat, The Buddy System

12 - BPDs on the WTO Lists

____________________________________________

4. LIST NETIQUETTE: Guideline of the Day

YOUR RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

It is your RIGHT to a safe atmosphere where you feel comfortable

discussing very personal issues. To create this atmosphere, you have

several RESPONSIBILITIES. They are:

GUIDELINES: It is your obligation to know and follow these guidelines

before posting. Your participation on the list acknowledges you have

read and agreed to these guidelines. If you do not agree, please do not

become a list member until your question or concern is resolved. If you

ever have a question or concern about these guidelines, please write to

WelcomeToOz-owneregroups. If you feel someone has violated them,

please DO NOT respond online; please forward the post and your comments

to WelcomeToOz-owneregroups.

COURTESY and RESPECT: Treat other list members in a courteous manner,

and please act respectfully toward others even if you disagree with

their opinions. Flaming (lashing out at someone) disrupts the entire

list, so we take it very seriously and handle it ASAP. Please don't make

issues personal or take things personally if someone does not do this.

Forward the post to the facilitators.

CONFLICTS: Conflicts will happen. That's life. It's a chance to practice

calmly stating your needs, wants and opinions, listening to others and

coming to a solution together. Great practice for a Non used to

belittlement, black and white thinking and blaming.

KEEP POSTS ON TOPIC: Keep in mind that anything you write is going to

50-800 other people, all of whom have busy lives. Please keep posts on

topic.

OFF TOPIC DISCUSSIONS: Please especially avoid off topic discussions

that have the potential to generate strong or hurt feelings. We all have

our personal views on sex, politics, abortion, feminism, Macs vs Pc's,

the existance of God and which way to hang the toilet paper. But

discussions of these topics belong somewhere else--perhaps on the " Which

Way to Roll the Toilet Paper " Listserv facilitated by Martha .

GIVING ADVICE: Please feel free to share how you cope/coped with various

things--that's the purpose of this forum! But please be cautious about

making blanket statements like " You *should* do this and that especially

when you don't know the person well. Although it may not seem so on the

surface, the person's situation may be different from yours. Or, the

other person may need to come to his own conclusions on his or her own

time frame.

DIVERSITY: We are a diverse community from many countries, comprising

many races, religions, value systems and beliefs. Sometimes people of

certain religions assume that everyone shares their beliefs; at worst,

they want to impose these beliefs on everyone. Feel free to speak about

what's important to YOU and how your values and beliefs affect your BPD

relationship. But please be careful and don't assume that everyone else

is the same. For example, don't assume people want to be " prayed for " ;

ask first.

BEING JUDGMENTAL: Having a BPD partner is not easy, and sometimes people

do things you may not approve of: eg, have affairs. Some people stay

with their BP partner and you may get angry because you think they

should leave. Some people may leave their BP partner and you get angry

because they think you should do the same. We are all at different

stages, we all have different situations, and we all have different

considerations and backgrounds. Please do not be judgmental about how

another person lives their life--if you do, you will make it harder for

others to post for fear of being judged. Be gentle. And people will be

gentle with you.

Randi Kreger

List owner, Welcome To Oz Lists

Coauthor, Stop Walking on Eggshells

Love and Loathing, Hope for Parents

www.BPDCentral.com

Addendum:

A portion of the guidelines to the WTO groups are sent out each day

because altogether they can be rather overwhelming. They are sent to all

lists in approximate order of what is important and are not making any

comment on any particular message on any one of the WTO groups. Please

note our guidelines have developed over the years by the group as a

whole to meet situations that come up again and again. Before you post,

you must agree to try to read and try to meet them. If you have any

questions, comments, or feelings you wish to voice about the guidelines,

please write to at bear454us@... or Edith at

psychprof5@.... Thank you!

__________________________________________________

Posted by Edith

Facilitator / WTO lists

PsychProf5@...